HeartSurgery

Health is scary, even when you have lived with specific diagnoses for a long time. When was the last time you experienced a symptom or a situation that caused you concern? What was that experience like for you? How did it make you feel?

For me there are a few: Years ago I was deeply worried I had a heart problem, but after numerous tests I was told I was ok. From my fear I then felt relieved, joyful and thankful. So this was a minor health scare.

Ironically later I did have a situation which led to heart surgery. I remember clearly when I was admitted to the ER that I couldn't breathe, and I was told my heart rate was 190. It took two shots of adenosine with increasing strength but then it rapidly reduced my heart rate! Then after test after test I eventually had surgery which was a success, and now I just take one med a day for it. But before I had the surgery I had a brief scare when a nuclear stress test rapidly caused my heart rate to go back up to 180. I remember that fear clearly because I had to wait a long time until a reluctant doctor treated me in a small room … in a Cardiologist’s office!

But more recently my scare was simple. I got hit by Covid…bad. I was really struggling with many symptoms but refused to go to the hospital due to concerns and fears about getting Covid there (ironic) With the encouragement (insistence) of my doctor, I got a test which came back positive but I was still stubborn and said I’d be fine. But it got much worse and finally I called 911 and an ambulance took me to the ER. By the time I got there I had 12 symptoms and was in really bad shape. They admitted me to a room in a separate part of the hospital for those of us with Covid and I began to really worry. The events leading up to that point were a blur, then I remember suddenly processing what was going on and I realized my life was in real danger. I sat in the bed with too much time to think and started to project to my death. I ended up stuck in a hospital bed for 8 days, totally dependent on nurses, not being able to sleep or even rest at all due to incessant coughing. It was a very lonely time since family and friends couldn’t visit, but despite my fear I stayed positive and fought through it.

To my surprise I got better and I was transferred to a rehab facility for 2 weeks… where I basically learned how to walk again. I pushed myself hard, did everything the PT said, starting with just walking back & forth in the room twice and needing to sit & rest. Slowly I began to gain my strength and balance back. I remember being brought back to my apartment and the joy I felt to be free and alive. Through this period I lost 15 pounds…but only because for the first 8 days I had barely eaten anything.

I continued to do PT at home and in outpatient care. I began walking outside, and up & down the steep steps to my apartment (which were really intimidating at first). I had been scared beyond what I can share in words, it was a really serious health scare

But I’m still here… survived TWO pandemics (I also contracted HIV 37 years ago in the 80’s when AIDS was considered a death sentence.) Both times my fears were vanquished by the support, hope and belief of family and friends!

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #PTSD #Disability #HIVAIDS #COVID19 #HeartSurgery #RareDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Cancer #Surgery #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar2Disorder #Bipolar1Disorder #Grief #Selfcare #Selflove #TheMighty #MightyMinute #MightyTogether #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #Belief #Love #Support

I wrote this 9 years ago after getting great news when I had a scare and I needed tests for possible problems with my heart and they came back negative. Ironically I DID end up having heart surgery 3 years after that (Catheter Ablation on one side)Thanfully it went well!

What is good health?

I am so tired of being down, being scared, letting the challenges of my life bring me down. In retrospect my life is a tremendous gift. I realize that I can never ever take it for granted even for a moment longer. My health is relative. I am relatively healthy… but to be alive is to be in good health. It is sometimes hard for me to accept, sometimes hard to digest, but I have a choice of how to deal with pain, with fear, with deep sadness… with any seemingly overwhelming feeling.

I can just smile. I can smile because I am alive.

I have had the blessing of some very seriously life threatening health challenges, but I did not die. Even when totally dependent on others, even when almost paralyzed by fear, even in tremendous pain… in these moments – others gave me the amazing gifts of a smile, a laugh, a simple gift or most importantly just their presence, their thoughts, their prayers. They refused to give up on me and constantly reminded me that I was never alone.

No one should ever be alone. I believe that no one ever is alone. I believe good health comes from within. I believe our spirit is our strongest organ. I believe that when we uplift our own spirits, even just for a short sacred moment, there is hope and there is healing. With hope there is health.

Happiness, even for a fleeting moment, even just a flicker of a smile, even just a laugh for the sake of laughing… happiness can heal our spirits. There are so many challenging health scenarios. We all do (or at least will) deal with pain, hurt, sadness, worry, heartache, feeling alone.

We all will age, we all will lose people close to us. But there is hope so close that we only have to reach out. Only have to breathe… because as long as we can breathe we will always have good health. Good relative health? Health is relative, but to be relatively healthy is a gift we can all afford.

Smile, because there is life still to live, breaths to treasure, smiles to cherish, laughter to share and love to appreciate

Life is there, so close, right there. Life is right here. Life is so simple. We all are never alone and we all are always together. Life is a journey and I pray that you can find others to walk your path next to you and that you choose to find others to walk next to.
Smile, live, love… laugh

Treasure good health!

Moshe Mark Adler
Independence Day 2012

#HeartSurgery #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #Selflove #Acceptance #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression