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Sad 😔 and suicidal ideation right now #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #CheckInWithMe #heaven

I’m just extremely sad and depressed 😔 right now and I kinda want to pass on and go to heaven and I mean peacefully go to sleep and wake up in heaven with my savior and my son I’m so tired of being lonely and alone wishing God would at least bring me a godly wife to not be alone and to not be lonely and suffering anymore plus my part time job makes me feel like I don’t belong there and I kinda feel that way about life itself like this is not my home and I don’t belong anywhere I’m a very sweet and loving person and I would give the shirt off my back to help anyone I feel like I have something to offer a woman 👩 I’ll be sweet loving caring loyal and honest with her I may not be the most attractive person but I have a big loving heart that’s pretty empty right now adding to the reason I wanna just peacefully go to sleep and then wake up in heaven with my savior and my son

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Gateway to #heaven

There is a photo I took the other day from the car. I looked up and snapped the photo as we drove. I felt like it was as my husband called it "Is that the Gate to Heaven?"

I thought about #Grief and #Loss and how I #MISS my #Dad . It has not been an easy year. But 2023 looks a little more promising. It does not feel complete without my Father being around anymore. But, I know that I have many more things I need to do that I have to focus on.

I am #Trying to keep a #Job now that I have found one. I just started it and already my hours have been slashed. {Sigh} I don't know what to do. The hours are cut because the business is slow, and there is a desperate need for more students to come to the learning center for tutoring otherwise.. we may not have jobs much longer.

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What do you believe happens after death? Have you had any near death experiences? What do you think heaven is? Any thoughts? Is there afterlife?

I wonder about this a lot. I haven't ever been a very religious person. I do believe there is a God. I wasn't ever brought up in a church, noone ever talked to me about anything religious or spiritual. I sorta developed my own connection with a higher power. I pray, and lots of times after I pray I do feel a sense of relief. I get these cold chills, and just feel like everything is going to be ok. I feel heard. Sometimes I get signs, atleast I think they're signs. I feel very intuned with the world. I feel like I pick up on different energies they may still be lingering here that have passed on. I definitely feel like there are sprits on earth. I feel Iike I've got some things figured out but there's a lot of missing pieces. I can't figure out if I fear death, or if I long for it. Some days I fear it, some days I get a little excited because I believe death isn't the end. I like to believe there's some form of heaven.. I don't know if it's the same for everyone or not. I believe that if your intentions are good, and you're a good person with their heart in the right place, that whatever happens in this next life perhaps will be good to you. I don't know. I been thinking about death a lot lately. A woman I worked with whom my boyfriend still works with just very unexpectedly lost her husband to a heart attack on memorial day. Everything was fine. They had just bought a lake house the weekend of. They had been there celebrating and having a good time, they went to Lowes on their way back home and when they got home he had a heart attack and passed away. It was a tragedy, and has me in my head. I also think about the reality of life and how many people I've lost and how painful that was, and how the unfortunate truth is that I'm going to loose more people I love. I think about this a lot at night time, and make myself sick. Sometimes I want to pass away first before anyone else I love because I don't know if I can take it. I guess we never think we can until we don't have a choice. Death is a very mysterious thing, and sometimes I obsess over it. I just want to hear your thoughts. Maybe someone has a different perspective on things and can enlighten me. Some days I have a stronger faith than other days. Some times I feel like I've figured it out and I know for sure what's going down after we pass, other times it just trips me out and gives me panic attacks. I hope to see my loved ones after I go. I hope once I pass it all makes sense and I see things in a greater light and I realize that I never truly lost anyone who passed away. I hope that the pain I've felt on this earth is just one big joke and when I get up to where I'm going, I laugh and sigh in relief. I wish I knew for sure . I feel like if I could overcome this strange fear of dying and death then maybe I could live my life better. I'm just crazy. Lol. But I wanted to document this. Just to see what other people have to say. #Death #Anxiety #Afterlife #heaven #Grief


My go to girl #bestie

My best friend learned yesterday she has cancer. I feel so helpless and doing my best to stay strong for her. She’s been my rock , my go to , for over 20 years. It’s my turn to be there for her. I’m nervous about my depression getting in the way. I’ve been watching testimonies on utube of people that have gone to heaven then back it helps me to know if that’s where her journey leads her it’s a beautiful eternity for her. #heaven

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#heaven #Nature

When I go to heaven I want to understand the nature of devicivnes. I have seen the world prestien. I blew them all away

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Big Empty

If I had wings, I'd leave everything behind. I've been dealing with a lot at work and at home. I have men in my life in both of those places and none of them pay attention to me. I never being up me internal struggles to many, I find myself thinking about it all at work only to cry myself to sleep in the safety of my bedroom. That seems to be the heaven for me, while outside is Hell itself. I still struggle with the idea that I'm needed in this world. In my mind, it feels like I'm unwanted, disregarded, and occasionally acknowledged. I sit on the bathroom floor after coming home sometimes. I'm either letting things sink in or I'm crying my eyes out while trying not to make a lot of noise. I count they days until I see the psychologist. More and more I feel empty inside. More and more I feel like I need to distract myself from these intense emotions. More and more I think about dying. I don't expect much anymore, nor do I feel that there is anyone who can really understand me. #MentalHealth #Depression #Sadness #Emptiness #intenseemotions #Feelingunappreciated #feelinglonely #FeelingEmpty #Feelingsad #insidemyownhead #keepingthingstomyself #heaven #hell


Do you think those who commit suicide go to a better place like Heaven?

I wonder what happens to those of us who can't carry on & eventually let the illnesses win. There are so many different ideals for this issue. Some think it's selfish & a sin to die by your own hand, so I thought I'd ask. Thank you for your thoughts. #Suicide #heaven #Depression

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Share a photo of something that makes you happy

Please share a photo of ANYTHING that makes you feel good right now🤗🕺💃🥳
I was going to put up my pets photos, but I always do that. I don't know where this, but it's the most beautiful place that I've ever seen! 🌅#heaven #beach #peace #Joy #happy #rainbow #calm

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