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Sad day

I feel horrible for feeling this way. Today is my birthday and not one member of my family considered me worthy of a gift. I would have been grateful for a flower from the garden. Does this sound awful? I feel so guilty for feeling like this but sadness if overwhelming today.#Feelingsad #bpdflood

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#feelingdiscouraged . #FeelingVulnerable . #feelingscared . #Feelingoverwhelmed . #Feelingsad

How can someone love a body that is so very gross.
How can someone love a mind that is full of toxic stress and confusion and sadness.
How can someone love a face that does not understand its own expression.
How can someone love a heart that is bleeding with it's own shattered pieces of shattered pieces.
How can someone love a soul that wreaks and is detached from reality.

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Anyone up at this hour?

I really need to talk to someone. I'm not suicidal, just really really sad because my therapist left her job at the clinic where I go for therapy. #feelinglonely #Feelingsad #CheckInWithMe #Cantsleep #BipolarDisorder


Very much awake! #Cantsleep

Feeling so very awake and guilty. We made it out to my parents for dinner and it was excellent but I'm now exhausted and feeling really guilty my husband does so much for me and I can see things starting to get to him. I feel guilty a lot of the time anyway, but it's particularly bad right now and I think I'll be in for another sleepless night #Sleeplessnight #wideawakeclub #Feelingsad

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My grandma #Feelingsad #missingfamily #BORDERLINEPROBLEMS

I recently lost my grandma, this is her on her wedding day 🥺
She raised me
She taught me
She loved me
She meet my kids
I was blessed
She was amazing
SHE KNEW EVERYTHING (at least I think so 😭)
I wanna rage
I wanna break everything thing
I want to dissolve
Sit in the middle of the room and scream
My borderline wont let me feel one inch of ok, it’s flared so bad the amount of shifts in my emotions per day is scaring me
I feel like I may burst, and my hard work on staying mindful is slipping out my grip

I called her every time I felt alone and scared or confused
She was amazing, did I mention that? Lol
She was dramatic just like me, and made me feel every bit ok to be myself
I am devastated


My anxiety has heightened in the last few hours. Even though I feel empty inside, my chest feels heavy. I know most people don't care about whether or not I've been sad or questioning my existence and even my purpose in life. I feel like it may be best to just avoid anyone whom I've cared about. I'm sure I don't mean much to others. I don't think I belong any place. #Depression #MentalHealth #Emptiness #Anxiety #purposeinlife #Idontmatter #FeelingEmpty #Feelingsad #feelingaloneandlost

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Big Empty

If I had wings, I'd leave everything behind. I've been dealing with a lot at work and at home. I have men in my life in both of those places and none of them pay attention to me. I never being up me internal struggles to many, I find myself thinking about it all at work only to cry myself to sleep in the safety of my bedroom. That seems to be the heaven for me, while outside is Hell itself. I still struggle with the idea that I'm needed in this world. In my mind, it feels like I'm unwanted, disregarded, and occasionally acknowledged. I sit on the bathroom floor after coming home sometimes. I'm either letting things sink in or I'm crying my eyes out while trying not to make a lot of noise. I count they days until I see the psychologist. More and more I feel empty inside. More and more I feel like I need to distract myself from these intense emotions. More and more I think about dying. I don't expect much anymore, nor do I feel that there is anyone who can really understand me. #MentalHealth #Depression #Sadness #Emptiness #intenseemotions #Feelingunappreciated #feelinglonely #FeelingEmpty #Feelingsad #insidemyownhead #keepingthingstomyself #heaven #hell


Only in the Afternoon...

Most of my mornings are usually pretty good. I feel good. The problem is that sometimes when 12:00 pm rolls around ( or the whole afternoon in general) I start to feel down. It’s a gradual change, but I can feel the weight of the world falling down on me. It’s not always sadness either, I just feel very, very empty at that moment. It’s those times when I start buying things to feel better. It doesn’t always work, but I do realize that I do this to somehow fill the spaces. I start to really hate my life and myself during this time. I start wondering why I’m still here. I wish I could accept that there are those who care about me, but there is a part of me that feel like that’s the biggest lie known to man. In the scope of all of this, I feel very lonely. The meds help, but I still feel my intense feelings. I know they can only do so much, I just wish that everything was different. #MentalHealth #Depression #feelinglonely #FeelingEmpty #Feelingsad #Sadness #Emptiness #Loneliness #Wondering


Why Am I Still Here?

I feel intensely depressed, guilty, lonely, sad, frustrated, and many other things. I feel like it would be better for me to just disappear. More so than ever, I feel very, very alone in the world. Maybe the day of my leaving this world is better than me being alive at this point. If I died today, I could think of five people who would care, everyone else has seemed to forgotten about me or has left me behind for other people and things. Nothing really matters, not even myself. #Depression #MentalHealth #feelinglonely #FeelingEmpty #Feelingsad #feelingaloneandlost #Lostmyjoy #Lostinlonliness #lostinlife #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideIdeation #lowselfesteem #whybother #Guilt #Loneliness #frustration #moods #intenseemotions


Losing My Mind

For some unexplained reason, I felt this wave of sadness and was on the verge of tears. At this point, I honestly feel like I’m losing it. I’ve had a couple of good days, then I go back to feeling awful again. Going from being physically exhausted to questioning why I’m still here. I don’t really like myself today, but the good news is I’m in the process of getting an appointment with a doctor later on this week. #Depression #MentalHealth #Sadness #moodchange #FeelingEmpty #Feelingsad #LosingMyself