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Ever since the middle of last month, I’ve been having stress dreams pretty much everyday. It used to be just around twice a week… why? I hate this so much. I want it to be back to normal. It’s now pissing me off.

Is it just thanks to the crapload of stressors I’ve had? Of course it is, it has to be. The traumatic flashbacks, the interrupted routines, being done with Amazon, the news about Target and (I think) Dollar General (and yes, even though Target did apologize, as a minority I cannot fully trust them anymore until I see loads of genuine improvement moving forward), summer’s existence (I hate summer)…. even when I’m no longer stressed by these things at times, even when days were great, I’m still having stress dreams everyday…

I even had such a great birthday unexpectedly last month. All of this now just seems like a very rude awakening. I wish I’ve never turned another age…. 🙁

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #Autistic #AutismSpectrum #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #StressDreams #help #overstimulated #TickedOff #triggerwarning

This year, literally the past six months, it seems like my husband is letting his depression win. He’s always upset, angry and/or depressed. There’s always a trigger that sends him into a negative thought loop, but the thoughts that seem to keep popping up is that he’s lonely and it’s all his fault, and that he’s never going to amount to anything because he doesn’t earn enough money. He upset about not having friends to hang out with, yet he won’t try to stay committed to anyone long enough to gain a friendship. He’s upset about not being able to afford everything his heart desires because his job won’t pay him enough money. Then he cites both of these things as being reasons as to why this life isn’t worth living. He gets livid and irate. He ends up mad at every little thing. I don’t know what else to do. He’s gone to therapy for years. He refuses to go on medication unless it’s the medicine he wants. I’ve tried my hardest to be supportive and to be there for him, but I really just don’t know what to do. He’s fine for one week then the next he’s mad at the world or himself. It’s a constant vicious cycle. I love him, but I’m exhausted and at my wits end. #Depression #exhausted #help
Update: He just wants to sleep all the time now. I’ve never seen him get this bad. I don’t know what to do.

I really wanna share my healing process which i truly need advices and friends , real supportive companions through the journey so we won't all feel drained by our own self discovery and healing .. if anyone support me in such idea please comment here ! 🙏🏻🙏🏻 #Anxiety #MentalHealth #PTSD #Healing #help #CheerMeOn

The short summary is, January 19th I got choked on food and I ended up getting dysphagia from it and couldn’t swallow anything for weeks. I ate pudding and apple sauce, eventually I ended up passing out February 2nd, my first time ever passing out. They said it was just panic attacks and syncope and not a issue, so they sent me home but my blood pressure was terrible my boyfriend was leaving to go to bootcamp too so that was stress added onto it. February 20th around that I had a doctor appointment with a gynecologist and she told me my iron was low and my b12 was high which made no sense cause I wasn’t eating but 100-200 calories a day if that. But I eventually was able to eat, and slowly felt kind of better but not fully. I had issues of being fatigued, and tired even though I got 8 hours of sleep. It’s tmi but my last cycle was watery and light and wasn’t normal compared to how they usually are. I felt terrible on it, short of breath, weak, fatigued, blurry vision, it was bad. However I’ve had issues when I’m eating, everything will start going black and I struggle to breathe and it feels like my heart stops for a second, then it starts racing and I panic, which makes it worse, I feel like I’m going to pass out during that, my head feels weird too. That’s what happened again earlier today, but yesterday at work I was standing there ringing up a customer and everything started going black and I almost passed out then too. I’m just scared. I’ve never dealt with anything like this before. I was told I have insulin resistance PCOS and may be iron deficient from my doctor and maybe anemic, I’m waiting on blood results to come back but is this a blood sugar issue or is it something else. Please help.#Anemia #anemic #iron #IronDeficiency #insulin #PCOS #irondeficient #help #question

This is really kicking me from behind this condition if it’s not one thing it’s another I’m afraid of all the time I can’t escape it’s like mirrors and smoke or a maze I’m stuck in I can’t see a way out it’s consuming me #HealthAnxiety #help #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #needsomeonetotalktoo

hey everyone....rn im filled with suicidal thoughts once again cant understand how to overcome those memories which i dont deserve. even this thing has made my immune health weak....so i was that girl whom ever1 saw as a bully puppet, in the 12 yrs of my whole lyf where children play with their frnds celebrate their bdays with their frnds meanwhile me who've spent her whole lyf sitting by herself at the last desk just bcz nobody wanted to sit with me, my daily routine upto 12th was reached the classroom, sat ony my desk nd keeping a hope that sm1 will sit with me, but my mates would have already made plans to not to sith with me even if theres any emergency then they would put the bag b/w us so that they couldnt touched with me accidentally. nd at the lunch tym....ive eaten my breakfast by myself by looking out of the windows where my classmates play. and after 6hrs of crying internally in the skul when i came back home....the homies had such a beautiful rltn that ive never witnessed how it is feel to have those parents who love each other. till the nyt the whole house witnessed only rage,anger and crying voice as i m the youngest nd non manipulative person....so i was the target to beat the crap outta me as i wasnt an idle daughter who doesnt obey their narcissistic behaviour.

came to the clg....same thing happened here....as i live in the hostel so ive tried to be with every single person in a hope that sm1 will be my frnd but my luck had other plans haha. i didnt 9 this thing until 2nd yr that with whom im living.....they do backbiting passing racial slurs about me same as the skul as per my physique. im still a human how much can i pretend smtyms i cant ctrl my emotions nd starts weeping. then i met my bf....though he had similar childhood too so i thought that finally ive got sm1 bt silly me i 4got that every1 leaves me after 1 or less than 1 year lol.....our rltn was going healthy but since 2024, idk why bt he started being more bz as he is top notch businessman....even ive halt some events just to be with him but its been 11 months now i cant beg anymore abt sm1s attention or tym.....as couples spend tym with each other nd its a common thing ryt, meanwhile i would have to say multiple tyms literally like come come or else im coming to u blah blah but upto when.....even last month ive cried like a mad for the first tym in front of him bt i think he didnt care abt that situation like why did i cry.....is it bcz i wanted a quality tym with him? is it wrong? my colleagues r so much selfish that they literally live on their money not on their parents.....nd i didnt do this lowly thing with him. but ig todays boys love a girl with slefish nature who will destroy them......

so on the day of breakup i was soo fed up to beg abt the tym so what i did was i just copied nd pasted his dialogue on him that im bz i cant be with u.....if it was other way around then i would ask literally infinte tyms as i was always do....bt wht i get in response was OKAY BYE!

i mean what.....ive literally did every single thing to be with him meanwhile he literally didnt ask me why or why not i mean when ppl do this to me its okay for them bt when i did the same......im a bad person? im bad bcz i want every1s well being? or bcz i want sm attention that i didnt get? wht i know is....im too a human not an animal🥲 #help #Trauma

hey everyone....rn im filled with suicidal thoughts once again cant understand how to overcome those memories which i dont deserve. even this thing has made my immune health weak....so i was that girl whom ever1 saw as a bully puppet, in the 12 yrs of my whole lyf where children play with their frnds celebrate their bdays with their frnds meanwhile me who've spent her whole lyf sitting by herself at the last desk just bcz nobody wanted to sit with me, my daily routine upto 12th was reached the classroom, sat ony my desk nd keeping a hope that sm1 will sit with me, but my mates would have already made plans to not to sith with me even if theres any emergency then they would put the bag b/w us so that they couldnt touched with me accidentally. nd at the lunch tym....ive eaten my breakfast by myself by looking out of the windows where my classmates play. and after 6hrs of crying internally in the skul when i came back home....the homies had such a beautiful rltn that ive never witnessed how it is feel to have those parents who love each other. till the nyt the whole house witnessed only rage,anger and crying voice as i m the youngest nd non manipulative person....so i was the target to beat the crap outta me as i wasnt an idle daughter who doesnt obey their narcissistic behaviour.

came to the clg....same thing happened here....as i live in the hostel so ive tried to be with every single person in a hope that sm1 will be my frnd but my luck had other plans haha. i didnt 9 this thing until 2nd yr that with whom im living.....they do backbiting passing racial slurs about me same as the skul as per my physique. im still a human how much can i pretend smtyms i cant ctrl my emotions nd starts weeping. then i met my bf....though he had similar childhood too so i thought that finally ive got sm1 bt silly me i 4got that every1 leaves me after 1 or less than 1 year lol.....our rltn was going healthy but since 2024, idk why bt he started being more bz as he is top notch businessman....even ive halt some events just to be with him but its been 11 months now i cant beg anymore abt sm1s attention or tym.....as couples spend tym with each other nd its a common thing ryt, meanwhile i would have to say multiple tyms literally like come come or else im coming to u blah blah but upto when.....even last month ive cried like a mad for the first tym in front of him bt i think he didnt care abt that situation like why did i cry.....is it bcz i wanted a quality tym with him? is it wrong? my colleagues r so much selfish that they literally live on their money not on their parents.....nd i didnt do this lowly thing with him. but ig todays boys love a girl with slefish nature who will destroy them......

so on the day of breakup i was soo fed up to beg abt the tym so what i did was i just copied nd pasted his dialogue on him that im bz i cant be with u.....if it was other way around then i would ask literally infinte tyms as i was always do....bt wht i get in response was OKAY BYE!

i mean what.....ive literally did every single thing to be with him meanwhile he literally didnt ask me why or why not i mean when ppl do this to me its okay for them bt when i did the same......im a bad person? im bad bcz i want every1s well being? or bcz i want sm attention that i didnt get? wht i know is....im too a human not an animal🥲

ps - english isnt my first language #help #Advice #Trauma

Can anyone help with the process of loosing your FP? I have finally split enough on my partner that he is leaving me. And I know he needs to but I feel like I am dying. I used to be a strong independent woman but after he moved in I progressively made this person my entire world. It has been 6 years of essentially verbal abusing him and I only recently discovered why. I didn't know about FPs and I didn't know about splitting. Now that I do know and I am seeking help, it is too late. He has already decided its not worth staying to work through. That kills me. The fact that he is leaving with all the scars I've made fills me with so much regret I feel like my body is going to explode. He has quit his job and will be moving 16 hours away in less than a week but I need help to get through the week. It is happening and there is nothing I can do or say to stop him.
I have been told that the future is a future my BPD mind has made up and that I'm just loosing an idea that my brain created. That isn't the truth though. I am actually loosing this person. He will not be here when I go to sleep or wake up or walk in the door after work anymore. There will be no more concerts or dinners. A scenario of the future may be gone but so is the actual person. I don't know how to handle this gracefully. Please help.

This is my first post in here. It’s going to be a long one. Hope someone reads it. I’m struggling right now. Bad. I’m at my wits end. With this disorder. With my others. With mental illness in general. With my psychiatrist. But I’m stuck. I have no insurance so I can’t find another one right now. Medicines aren’t working anymore and I was just put on a new one and taken right off after a month after having bad side effects. Still no resolve to my issues. Psychiatrist has no ideas about what to do next other than putting me BACK ON that medication but on half the dosage and hope I don’t have the same reaction. I’m so aggravated. I’m wanting to give up. I’ve tried almost all of the medicines. I also have Borderline, severe anxiety, PTSD and ADHD. Does anyone have any recommendations or encouragement? I’ve been wanting to try DBT handbooks but don’t know which ones are good. Does anyone know? Should I go a different route?
#BipolarDisorder #ADHD # hopeless #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #help