idiopathic neuropathy

#IdiopathicNeuropathy

I struggle every single day... I rarely find the energy to even get out of bed most days. I used to do things without having to think twice... now i have this internal dialog constantly fighting every single thought and hope that tomorrow will be that elusive “good day”. I make promises to myself that I cannot keep...tomorrow I will get out of bed, I will shower, I will participate in life. I disappoint my family and friends a lot...yet, my own disappointment is far greater than theirs could ever be. I am unreliable to my friends and family but even more so to myself! My body has betrayed me leaving a reflection in the mirror that is unrecognizable...a stranger. Every. Single. Day. Is. A. Struggle...with no end in sight. I ask myself, “Is showering really worth the effort today?” And the answer, most often is, “NO!”. I am not alone in this...yet the loneliness is overwhelming most days. This is chronic illness...living with gastroparesis, migraines, pots, neuropathy, chronic pain, depression - a lifelong sentence with no end in sight...