Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)

Really sharp sudden pain but it only last for a few seconds; the positive is that it’s only for a short time so I’m trying to work on keeping that in made.

That the pain will pass.

But it doesn’t feel true to other pain like my knee that hurts everyday and has been for years, I don’t mean to always complain about it but it’s always there so it’s always on my mind in a way.

Though today was more of fatigue than pain, I try to get some good sleep but it never works as I get so tired after just an hour of being awake.

Tasks make me even more exhausted.

It’s not severe but sometimes my limbs feel so heavy and I have to drag them to get anything done because they also feel so weak.

I know it could be because of my inactivity but being active makes things worse even though I do want to be active.

I want to do things like other people do things.

But my body just doesn’t allow it and it’s something I’m trying to accommodate for.

Like stretching, it might not be much but it makes me feel more productive.

Trying not to be so hard on myself is my daily win. 🦋

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #CrohnsDisease #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #ChronicPain #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder

Really tired as I’m typing this, I can’t describe how fatigued I am and feel at the moment.

I slept for around half the day in bed unable to get up for anything or anyone besides food or bathroom use due to how heavy trying to move feels.

My depression had calmed for the most part until later today where I was feeling overwhelmed with my health when trying to put reminders in my calendar of when I have appointments.

Trying not to let my anxiety overwhelm me is a bit of a challenge but currently I am feeling better and more calm than I was before.

Today I experienced a lot of nausea that led me to believe I was going to be sick but thankfully I wasn’t.

Shortness of breath was present even with mild activity like a small walk but it wasn’t too terrible for me today.

Having difficulties with my stomach hurting after I eat or drink still.

Left knee is hurting a bit badly so hopefully it calms down so I can sleep.

Fatigue was rather severe still, but my win for today is that I found calming music to rest and relax to.

#MentalHealth #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #CrohnsDisease #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD

I slept for so long as I couldn’t have any energy to get out of bed besides just necessities like making myself eat at least one meal today.

I try to not push myself too hard but I guess I really over did it yesterday because today’s fatigue was awful and unmanageable that wouldn’t go away even with hours of sleep and rest.

When I did finally get up; my shortness of breath came back but not as heavy as a few days ago thankfully as that day was really rough.

I really don’t know why I’m having this symptom all of a sudden and today I felt a bit unwell but I don’t think I have a fever or any sickness.

I suppose it’s just the weather?

My pulse was also a lot faster than it normally was when I was just laying down and not doing anything which isn’t really common for me.

I could feel my heart pounding when I pressed my fingers around my wrist despite not being anxious at all.

My stomach really hurt today after eating or drinking anything; I suspect it’s my Crohn’s disease.

Knee pain still there as always and I can’t put it in a position where I’m having to use it or put weight on it even sitting down but it hurts all the time regardless of what I’m doing.

Today was just a lot and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed with my health and everything wrong with it; all the appointments I’m going to have to have recently.

Sometimes I just want to lay down and cry while I ask why I can’t just have a healthy body.

#InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #CrohnsDisease #MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

Feeling tired but I was productive today!
I deep cleaned as much as my body let me though I had to divide and conquer with my time as it did require effort from my body more than most.

I was glad I was able to clean because in the morning, or more accurately when I woke up;

I was very out of breath and found difficulty breathing despite not having done really anything.

I tried laying down but it didn’t help which was odd to me because this only happened yesterday but in a less severe way slightly.

I had to sit up and try to take deep breaths while seated and remain calm even though it felt like trying to breathe air through a straw only.

It was weird, I also felt like there was something in my throat that was somewhat cold?

It lasted a long while but eventually went away thankfully so I could clean.

It happed again after talking but this time it felt like someone was pressing my throat harshly as it kind of hurt; matter of fact, it’s doing it right now!

I really don’t know why because it has never done this in the past.

Aside from that, my left knee hurt still and I can’t put it in certain positions as it makes the pain worse.

But that’s nothing new.

My win for today is that bad enough energy I cleaned! 🦋

#MentalHealth #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #CrohnsDisease

I’m not sure if this weight loss is healthy anymore even though I’m at a healthy weight which probably doesn’t make sense and I’m probably overthinking it.

But it’s just I’ve lost 20 lbs (or really more) so quickly without even trying and I keep dropping more and more with time.

I’ve been out of breath lately after just going up stairs; it’s a bit odd due to how severe the out of breath feeling was.

My clothes are so loose now and big on me.

I know supposedly losing weight is something that is looked at as a positive, it makes doctors happy but it’s just so much so fast with so little effort.

Really no effort at all.

I’m worried it will continue to drop past healthy weight because it is unintentional.

I don’t know why it keeps dropping.

I have IBD, Crohn’s, and perhaps this is the cause?

Anyone else with this condition dropping weight so quickly?

#MentalHealth #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CrohnsDisease #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD

A bit anxious as my day was very stressful because I had to take care of things medically related which exhausted me.

Advocating for my health is always a bit hard for me which is to be expected for my age I believe while I try and figure out what is wrong with me and who I need to see.

Which unfortunately is a difficult task.

Having to make appointments for multiple doctors and having to go and see new ones for a list of health issues and symptoms that never gets answered because there is nothing they can visibly see which is another pain of having an invisible illness.

Symptoms that don’t make sense to most doctors so I have to go to different doctors for them to also not know what is going on.

And then I wait a month only to have to wait for another more.

And then I have to get bloodwork done and/or imaging via x-ray or ultrasound.

Particularly with my kidney problem where I have too much calcium but with perfectly functioning kidneys that actually work better than most.

And I find it very depressing and overwhelming.

I can’t do anything fun because all the money goes to the doctor.

But then again I probably wouldn’t have had fun anyway due to the pain and chronic illness.

I’m not sure, this all just feels hopeless and a lost cause.

#MentalHealth #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #CrohnsDisease #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #Undiagnosed