I’m wondering if anyone is willing to share their experiences on hospitalization for either mental health or substance use matters? I am also wondering if people wouldn’t mind sharing what their viewpoint is on involuntary involuntary hospitalization. I’ve been through it myself a few times and saw it could be beneficial to hear the stories of others.
Thanks to all!!
On August 15th, 2015, I tried to commit suicide. I had delusions and began hearing powerful voices in my head. The person who I was prior to that, the girl who had it all together according to her Instagram page and fake smile was hospitalized in a completely and unknown state than from where I lived. During the summer of 2015 I was staying with a friend but somehow I ended up in Chicago, Illinois on one of my manic episodes. I didn’t think I would make it past that hospitalization but they make it so hard for you to harm yourself when you’re impatient, let alone in a state psychiatric hospital. That, of course, didn’t stop me from getting creative and trying to find ways to put myself out of my misery.
I spent so many weeks at the hospital during my initial hospitalization that I thought I would never get out. So when I finally did, it was confusing to me why I had to go back to a world I didn’t even know anymore. I missed the comfort of being around people who were “sick” just like me. I felt as though I had gained a family and the medical staff were great supporters.
That first hospitalization became the foundation for the years to come. I was in and out of the psychiatric unit of the hospital over twenty times. I am traumatized from 90% of those hospitalizations. I wasn’t treated like a human being should have been and I had no one who could advocate for me.
I turned twenty-five earlier this month and five years ago I would have told you that you were out of your mind if you thought I would ever make it to this age. Last night I felt so fragile that I took two extra pills to calm myself down. That is something I’ve been avoiding to take because I don’t like how the pills make me feel when I wake up, but they put me to sleep and I didn’t have to relive the memories that were taunting me.
I allowed myself to cry on the phone with my boyfriend. I am in a fairly new relationship but we have been friends for almost nine months now so I feel somewhat comfortable being vulnerable around him.
Suicide is not the answer and for the most part, I know this. But at the time, it was the only way for me to stop feeling the pain. I have never called the suicide hotline myself but the number will be provided beneath for anyone who may need it. 💚🤍
+1800-273-8255 💚💚💚 #SuicideAwareness
#SuicideSurvivors #SuicideAttempt #suicidehotline #InvoluntaryHospitalization #Anniversary
Today my mother is coming home from her 2nd #InvoluntaryHospitalization in 3 months for #BipolarDisorder #Mania #SuicidalIdeation #Selfdestructivebehavior . Any #Support and/or #Advice for me as her son who had to do this twice to #help during this time of much #Crisis Note: Please feel free to talk to me like I know nothing at all and am open to all. Grateful for any #ideas or #insights
I love audiobooks! I came across this one and decided to give it a chance. I think the narrator does an excellent job bringing the characters to life.
I found it very relatable from the #InvoluntaryHospitalization for #SuicidalThoughts to the #anger and #Depression and even the #AnorexiaNervosa.
(Please note poem contains TRIGGERS for self-harm. Also this is a repost because I forgot a tag, heh, oops...)
they got a new design
oh my, how pretty are mine
but mama didn't like it
so she took me away to a new motel
they took my clothes, took my freedom
made me lie down on that bed
dressed in green
it was their experiment table
i know it i know it
they took my blood away from me
drugged my tongue to spit out a compulsive story
again and again and again and again and again
then shipped me to where they wanted me to mend
mama where'd you go
i don't see you no more
just thick glass
that protects my chauffeur
but what he hiding from
i ain't gonna hurt him
but maybe diseased brains are airborne
maybe he'll get it too
then i woulda killed a man like i did me
oh no what do i do what do i do
there won't no welcome home sign
but who wants to welcome me anyway
'cuz they just gonna dine on my brain
stuff it full of something else
like a christmas turkey
i wanna get outta here i gotta get outta here
but nobody can hear
i cry, wet my cage with salt water
but they not gonna let me free
just check that my cuff's still on me
i stay in bed,
horror cultured in my head,
thinking if i'd be better dead,
praying to god above
that he'd shield me from whatever was ahead
#Depression #MightyPoets #Hospitalization #InvoluntaryHospitalization #Selfharm #Suicide
I need help desperately but the mental health system is the largest contributor to my CPTSD. After over twenty years of being ok I’m back trying to navigate the system that is available to help me but mostly does more harm than good. Having #CPTSD symptoms beyond my ability to #cope. #Depression, #AnxietyAttacks, #Selfharm , #Dissociation, #InvoluntaryHospitalization, #Transgender
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