SufferinginSilence

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    Who absolutely HATES having to start All the way over!!!

    When I found the right therapist (which took a lot of trial and error) I started to see small changes. He pushed me and knew what I needed… I would push back at times, but I’m the end, he was always right and he showed me how freeing it is to be able to own up to your mistakes…. I had to move to another state and after years of trying, I still haven’t found one that compares to him. Or makes me feel like they’re truly wanting to help me. One I tried, I was teaching them…. So I’ve given up after my last attempt and it being through telehealth… so In personable ♥️🧠 #MentalHealth #Therapy #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ParanoidPersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #Disability #SufferinginSilence

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    Just a little headache - If only they knew

    On day four of the lights being too loud, able to look at a screen now without the words blurring. I can now move without falling due to disorientation. Getting hotter and the pressure building in your head making you nauseous until the migraine breaks and you start to come down the other side. Able to eat without being ill and although I have continued to drink continuously throughout the attack I am still struggling to keep hydrated. My body feels like I have been hit by a bus and then reversed back over and left to deal with this aftermath on my own.
    When you tell someone you have migraine and they say “ oh, just a little headache then” and you could cry if only you had the energy.
    Anyone that is suffering or has suffered with migraine please know that you are a warrior and you are amazing
    I know your pain, I know your suffering and I know just how strong you are to survive an attack.
    Light and love be with you
    Steffie #Migraine #HemiplegicMigraine #Pain #SufferinginSilence #Migrainewarrior #Isolation

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    Undiagnosed back pain

    Hey guys, ( 21 yr old dood😄)
    Hoping everybody is well.
    I am new member and I wanted to detail a few of my symptoms, and hopefully someone can give me possible suggestions from their own experiences.

    SYMPTOMS:

    - thoracic back pain (ache)
    Started as lower back pain, evantually moved up
    - started when i was around 15, in the begining pain was barely noticeable, but over the years it is getting progressively worse. ( i genuinely think i will be paralyzed soon)
    - pain improves with activity ( i was an athlete in high school and i am still active; helps keep the pain at bay to some level)
    - git troubles
    - i have noticed that one side of my back gets inflamed more
    - cannot sit in for more than 20-25 mins
    ( sucks cuz i have full day of classes)😕
    - mom has rheumatoid arthiritis

    So, under my own investigations, i think ankylosing spondylitis is a fit for my condition, havent gone to a doctor due to the pandemic and all, so AS is purely a self diagnosis. If you guys have any other thoughts on what i could i be suffering from, please please please tell me.
    I am naturally a happy person and most things dont bring me down, but this back pain is starting to pull me down, i really am losing hope and putting a name on whatever this is, will help.

    Thank you so much for reading my essay here, and whatever illnesses you guys are suffering from, i urge you to fight through the pain. Good luck.
    Cheers

    #BackPain #AnkylosingSpondylitis #Undiagnosed #BackPain #backache #arthiritis #SufferinginSilence #BackPain #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #Musclepain

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    Depression causes

    you know what's worse than being person who suffer from depression and ocd, being a woman in middle east
    its hell on earth, every day am surviving not living, surrounded by harassments and judges from men in my country, i can't wear what i want, i can't walk alone in the streets, every day i hear accidents of girls who had been killed and raped cause of sexual harassment and kidnapping , everyday i hear horrible stories from survivors, am done living here and there is no way out #PanicAttack #Depression #Pain #SufferinginSilence

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    Finding hope❤️

    My childhood horror keeps me haunting but I don't want to be the same always.I am messing up with my school and my marks.it seems that all my friends are going ahead and doing best but here I am everyday trying just to be someone.i fear what will I do in my future.I m scared that my career will be messed up.i want to start everything again,a new beginning but I don't know how to do it .I want to work hard on my grades but it all just sucks and demotivating.

    #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #studentlife #Hope #PanicAttacks #SufferinginSilence

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    #MorningRoutine

    My mornings start with God, my bible study, prayer and meditation. Normally if I start my morning with gratitude I find my day is more peaceful to endure my chronic illnesses. Emotionally I haven’t conquered when I’m triggered by others. Specifically by others, who don’t understand, nor do they try to understand what I deal with daily. Unfortunately this happens more frequently than I’d like to admit with the ones I’m closest too! Any advice of how to deal with non compassionate significant others your not able to dismiss from your life would be greatly appreciated! Poor health (to much to go into) #gutanxiety #Depression #PanicAttacks #visiondeterioration #nocolon #SufferinginSilence
    #MorningRoutine

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    Why?

    Why is it when you are alive and struggling asking for help here there and everywhere, no help is given.
    But if I were dead they would say why didn't they reach out for help.
    I don't need phone calls that last 20 until the tears stop.
    I need the help that tells you how to keep living when you have nothing to live for except for the daily struggle.
    Honestly don't know what else to do.
    All I can think about is selling all my stuff, paying off my debt, have money for cremation and ending it all.
    Calling the mental health team did nothing, they said to call the GP because I was no longer under their care.
    Do I have to hurt myself before I get real help?
    #Depression #Anxiety #Transman #SufferinginSilence #Agoraphobia #alone #help

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    What’s the big deal of not comforting an upset child? #developmentaltraumaneglect #CPTSD #HSP #Hurtstoberejected #Ignored #SufferinginSilence

    I never got positive or nurturing attention when I cried, much less a hug from my mother or father. If my crying was acknowledged I definitely learned quickly it was not acceptable. I would get snapped at “to stop crying” be asked in a very annoyed and frustrated tone “what was I crying for! Stop it”. Most of the time I did not know why I was crying. I was always so very aware of and picking up on the negative undercurrents that surrounded our home 24/7. My parents were always unhappy, I always thought they didn’t like each other very much. They would yell and argue all the time, in a very controlled dignified way. They complained about money and how hard it was to support us. My Dad was always mumbling how hard it was for him to have a wife and 4 children. My parents were not very demonstrative and never showed love to us or each other.
    My parents were unhappy, miserable actually. If my dad was around when I cried I would get the scary stern look, as if I was supposed to understand what I was doing wrong. My older siblings just started mirroring our parents. I was the annoying little sister who cried way too much and loudly.
    My crying only brought annoyance. I was also supposedly really an adept psychological master manipulator only wanting attention. Of course that just cannot be allowed. Heaven forbid the possibility that I could become spoiled and feel entitled to attention. This did not just happen sometimes this happens every time I cried. So at some point before the age10, I finally learned and totally embraced this tough lesson, and that was for me not to cry. That’s not a big deal right. I did stop crying for all those years and up till 49 I did not cry. Recently like a dam has broken with an overwhelming flow of emotions I still rarely cry. The few times I have cried in recent years I still get the exact same response from my family. None of them have changed at all just add a few full on mature narcissists.
    The few times friends saw me cry recently, must have shocked them I guess. They made an unfortunate mistake. Told me I shouldn’t cry. I’m stronger than that. I think my friends were so unprepared for my tears they panicked, It makes them so uncomfortable and for some reason have come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t cry around them. They have shut me down the couple times it happened recently while on the phone. They got off the line so fast my head was spinning. I Immediately went to the old rule book and thought oh no I forgot I’m not supposed to cry,
    My therapist is telling me I’m essentially starting to grieve and cry for that little girl who was so severely emotionally abused. I’m still kind of reeling from that long overdue validation. I thought I was joking before when I said “I wasn’t hugged enough as a child. So what? What’s the big deal? I just happened to get the tough love lesson that was supposed to make me a strong and self sufficient adult. I’m learning to cry again. It’s so much harder now then at age 5. #Grief

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    Going unnoticed

    I've been in this dreadful state of mind for the past 5 months and the funny thing is that my close friends don't even know.

    Well, maybe that's not so funny but it just baffles me that something so big in my life gets unnoticed by my dearest and closest friends. My life has been falling apart in front of their eyes; I've been wearing the same clothes for weeks, only wearing black, I've got greasy hair from poor hygiene, the bags under my eyes from sleepless nights..

    But they only notice the smile on my face.

    I can't bring myself to tell them though, because I'm afraid they won't understand, or think it's not so bad, or they'll freak out. I don't know what to expect but this depression is slowly killing me and I'm not even fighting back anymore..

    #Depression #MentalHealth #SufferinginSilence #Anxiety

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