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I’d rather sleep

I’d rather sleep all day and night than feel this.
Weaning me off wrong meds, but still no right meds.
My thoughts hurt.
Don’t drink or drug, so I’m left here other the pain and confusion.
I’d rather sleep all day. #MixedBipolarDisorder #Sleep #Pain #hurt #Confusion


self aware I am. (Apparently channeling my inner Yoda)

Physically - I need to push myself a past being in bed

Mentally - I need to be aware of where I am on my Hypomania and ask my family for understanding.

Emotionally - I need to remember that I’m supposed to be here, I’m not a mistake and I’m enough without being too much
#MixedBipolarDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Selfacceptance
#GetOutOfMyBed #selfaware #iamenough #IAmNotTooMuch


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i don’t fit in...i never have

Since I can remember , I’ve felt odd, dumb, too sensitive....soooo much more, but I definitely have felt that I Do Not Belong.

Everyone else seems so different, as though they received an agenda card, but ran out when they got to me ‘oh sorry, looks like you’re just going to have to wing it.’ Ummmm yeah, I haven’t been doing that very well.

Last year, I found this meme and it Rocked My World!

I Do Fit In! I fit in with all those who also don’t fit it. Being here, I’m widening my tribe.

Join me? Join me in feeling more than enough, but not too much,

Funny, but They Need Us!

We Belong Here. There’s even a meme that says so ;)
#MixedBipolarDisorder #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #Isolation #Selfworth #different #purpose


Highly Doable - Setting Self Up For Success #52SmallThings

Physical - stretch, yoga, bend, whatever to lengthen some muscles. Been sedentary.
Mental - take ‘as needed’ med, if needed
Emotional - Hey Siri/Alexa, tell me a joke

#52SmallThings #MixedBipolarDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Stretch #AsNeeded #laughteristhebestmedicine

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Consumed with possible symptoms #52SmallThings

Dissecting my every thought , movement, feeling.
I’ve been stirring my own proverbial pot to a frenzy.

Today, for the three...physical, mental and emotional, I need to watch and listen to the birds, feel the ground underneath my bare feet, feel the warmth on my cheeks...
Today, I need my Mother Nature to rock me to calmness. #MixedBipolarDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Depression #Anxiety

#52SmallThings #MotherNature #Nature

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Hypomania at my disservice

Aaaand it’s on!
I felt it coming. I was out of bed, went to a support group meeting, did a bazillion loads of laundry for myself and a friend. Wanted to stay up all night, jonesing to prowl around for sex...cheating, cooked (I usually don’t do that), unpacked boxes, cleaned the litter box, sent out many hilarious jokes and memes to everyone....
I’m holding back, with a death-grip, the urges to spend much and fuck many.

Left a message for my Dr
Waiting for her call.
In the mean time, organizing and alphabetizing my life. #Hypomania #hypomanic #MixedBipolarDisorder #BipolarDisorder #hypersexual


Sleep Memory Hug

Physically - to fall asleep three hours ago

Mentally - I still can’t figure out what this means. Blank.

Actually, today, I think better memory would serve me well.

Emotionally - a hug where I get to let go first

#52SmallThings #MixedBipolarDisorder #Sleep #Memory #Hug




Physically - finally schedule the massage that I’ve already paid for.
This requires effort and getting out of the house. I feel my nerves are frayed so the idea of hands on my body frays them more. In reality, I know I need that touch.

Mentally - I’m getting startled/scared quite a bit at work. Sounds I think I hear People I think I see...it was only a chair.
I’m feeling that talking to my new psychiatrist, who’s weaning me off meds, about it will give me some solace.

Emotionally - I don’t know. I’m blanking. #52SmallThings #MixedBipolarDisorder #FrayedNerves #Psychosis

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Are my thoughts real? #Realthoughts #Trust

Thoughts are Not necessarily Facts

‘I feel he’s cheating on me’ I tell myself.

More than my intuition, things he says and does don’t add up.

If this real? How do I know when I can trust myself to know?

This post isn’t about my SO, but more my trusting myself after years of bipolar mind playing tricks on me.

*Btw, he was Not cheating on me, but my mind was. #Facts
#Thoughts #Whatisreal #MixedBipolarDisorder