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What becoming a mom has done to me.

Hi everyone I’m new here I’m 25 female, and I just recently became a mother at the end of last year. Since becoming a mother has been difficult in more ways then one. Before I was pregnant i had really bad anxiety and depression. When I had found out i was going to be a mom it changed my mindset for the better and I took care of myself in a way I never had before. I was so determined to be a good mom for my baby. When I found out I was also scared because I’ve been dealing with acute pain in my back for 16 years of my life called spondololthesis. So I did ask my doctor if it’s okay for me to have a baby with my condition to make sure it wouldn’t get worse. She told me I was good to go. Little did I know that after I healed from child birth that. I was far from being okay. I’ve been dealing with chronic pain for 4 months. Everyday is a struggle I cry and I have very bad postpartum depression, and anxiety. I am getting help but I just feel so alone becoming a new mom is lonely but so is being in pain at the same time every single day. It’s been nothing but doctors appointments and stress trying to figure out exactly what is going on. I’ve been told it’s a form of sciatica and I have a disc disease. I am going to be getting spine injections and I’m hoping they will help me. If that doesn’t help me I will need surgery. (Back surgery) which is very scary. I feel so alone as much as my fiancée tried to make me feel better and take care of me. I still just feel so alone and I’m supposed to be happy and it’s very difficult to just be happy. My life has changed in more then one way it’s been very difficult to cope with all this change. Please don’t judge me or make me feel worse I just want to feel heard. All of this has been very traumatic.

#Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #newmom

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A New Reality in Mom Stress

The postpartum period after delivering a baby is a little over a year, yet we are told often we are supposed to ‘bouncing back’ to normal after 3 months.

The old ways of viewing postpartum causes stress to new moms, with 15% - 20% experiencing debilitating symptoms.

Postpartum stress syndrome is a step below postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety in terms of severity.

“While postpartum stress syndrome can create feelings of anxiety that are unsettling, these feelings do not impede her ability to function or get through the day,”

Yet, the rise of postpartum stress and depression is on the rise, especially since the beginning of the pandemic in 2020.

What is going on, and what can we do about it ?

First, we were doing too much before the pandemic, at least many were. Mothers and caregivers especially felt the stress post COVID 19 with working jobs and then managing childcare or school in the home.

Second, we are adding to the increasing challenges by maintaining the old ways of life and trying to ‘return to normal.” Except, our world isn’t like it was. Women are expected to work as though they don’t have kids, raise children as if they don’t work, and live in a way that resembles a child-free life.

Instead I ask you to honor where you are in your life, especially if you have younger kids under the age of 5. Cut yourself a lot of slack and know this reality isn’t forever.

If you want to “challenge” yourself, ask yourself how you can enjoy moments to yourself, manage your stress, and be present with what is. There are many techniques to help you in 10 minutes or less.

The more we all push back as moms and caretakers, the sooner we can all move towards a new way of being; one where we feel more balanced and not torn in multiple directions.

#postpartum #PostpartumAnxiety #newmom #AutoimmuneDisease #LymeDisease #Stress #Anxiety #PostpartumDepression #mom #MomGuilt #AdrenalFatigue #AddisonsDisease #Pregnancy

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Postpartum Stress, after 6 months #postpartum #PostpartumAnxiety #newmom #MightyMoms #Stress #PostpartumDisorders

From the outside the postpartum journey looks like baby cuddles and pure joy. Family and friends see the photos on social media full of delicate baby faces and even some smiles.

What isn’t seen is the lack of sleep and deprivation that comes with having a baby, especially a first child. The depletion of being “on” 24/7” over time has a significant impact on the caretakers and mothers.

When the lack of sleep, enough food, sometimes support all come together it creates a perfect storm, initially staved off by the adrenaline.

I remember waking every hour and a half to feed and I promise, nothing can prepare a new parent for that reality.

What’s talked about even less is postpartum anxiety and especially postpartum anxiety after the first six months of baby’s life. I was waking every hour or two, but I couldn’t always sleep in between feedings. I’d be anxious about the baby waking and then I’d be pulled out of a deep sleep in a panic. It’s not uncommon for parents to also check on baby to make sure baby is breathing, or sometimes you’re stressed and feel the need to check just because. That’s if baby is sleeping at night and on a new sleep rhythm!

This is the reality for new moms.

After months of having a baby, the worry is still there. The questions and concerns grow.

Is baby sleeping enough ? Do I sleep training ? Do I have the right kind of support ? What about daycare? Can I continue to breastfeed? How do I manage work and being a parent ? How do I know I’m a good mom? Why do I feel shame about staying at home?

The pressures of motherhood begin to look like a mountain that needs climbing.

I had a good handle on my generalized anxiety and life stresses before pregnancy. The hormones threw me off, especially after birth and even more so after baby had been in the world for a few months. What’s not talked about is how this manifests physically and what you can do for support.

First - always seek help from a mental health provider. Postpartum Support International can be a great place to start talking to someone or be referred to a licensed professional counselor or a medical doctor who can prescribe medications.

Second - when those moments of pure anxiety build up, don’t run away from the anxiety. Often times anxious women feel the need to run from their feelings. Breathe into the discomfort. You can take conscious inhales and longer exhales. This is a technique that can be used anytime and in the moment.

Third - surround yourself with community and support. It truly does “take a village” to raise children. Grant yourself permission to only be around others who are helpful and not causing more stress.

Fourth - always speak to a medical professional if you start to notice physical signs of stress such as headaches, chronic pain, and increased blood pressure.

The stresses of parenthood will continue over time and one challenge will be replaced with another. The new normal is fresh and it takes a lot of time to adjust past that initial three month postpartum phase. Know you aren’t alone and help is out there.

1 comment

I didn't sign up for this

Well apparently I did lol
Today I hurt and it sucks. This is not how I thought or saw myself as I approach 30. 29 stiff, tightness, achy, numb, weak, and irritated AF! I'm simply tired of waking up like this especially with a toddler who needs me. I feel unfit in so many ways. I'm struggling to keep up, so damn uncomfortable and wtf is up with the scalp pain!? Is it related to my nerves ugh sigh I digress. I know it could be much worse. I guess it's good all my test results came back fine....🤯😳🤒
It feels like all I can do is wish for a miracle and in the meantime learn to deal and manage. Crazy it took 8 years to get to this defeated point where I guess I'm fully surrendering to the fibromyalgia and learning to accept life with chronic pain......siiiiigh. 😤
So much uncertainty, so many symptoms and random sensations.
Im not sure how to move forward in life. What's next? How to support my sun and I? I am grateful for how far I've come and all I've learned in terms of lifestyle transitions. And now my arms are really hurting so peace love and many warms gentle hugs to you 💛🙏🏿 #Fibromyalgia #ChronicDepression #ChronicPain #newmom #tired #ChronicFatigue #Nerve and joint pain #JointStiffness #Jointpain


Woke up in sheer panic

I just woke up after falling asleep 20 mins ago
In a full blown panic attack. I felt completely detached from my body, heart racing, sweating, sick to my stomach and scared myself so badly. I’m always so scared something is wrong with my heart. Now I’m fanning myself and trying a breathing app to re-center myself. Sometimes this happens when I try to force sleep. I have GAD and have been battling it since I was 11, am currently 30 and a first time mom... motherhood has caused quiet a bit of anxiety to creep back in. My daughter is 3 months old!

Has anyone experienced these jolting panic attacks upon falling asleep? Or increased anxiety late into postpartum? Any words of encouragement would be great right now 😕
#Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #newmom #postpartum


Any Advice I can Get..

Hey Everyone! I’m just seeking advice.
I’m 19, just Had my first baby, and 2 months post partum I became stiff to the point where I couldn’t even be a mom.
Soon after so many test done, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. My son is now 6 months (22nd of this month) and I have to quit nursing in order to be able to put this into remission. I’m just NOT ready to quit nursing. my goal was a year atleast. I had to quit my job-which relieved alot of stress on my body, and now I have little to some pain. but Im not as bad as I used to be. Any New Moms who were diagnosed? Or who had a bad flare up post partum-then it went away? Any Advice? If you were in my place would you quit nursing? I’m supposes to start Methotrexate Mid Jan. but I’m so scared of all the side effects and long term possibilities.
Thanks for hearing me out. Im newly Diagnosed so any information is pretty much new to me. I appreciate it MORE than you can imagine. #newmom #RheumatoidArthritis #Advice


World of firsts. #newmom #Anxiety

While I don’t technically hold the title of mother I am all but that to my nephew. His Mom still has rights and very much makes that known. She even lives down the street. However my sweet boy has three moms, my mom, me, and the deadbeat. He shares a room with me, an incredible untouchable bond, and occasionally slips up and calls me mommy. I am learning with my now pre schooler that I have to experience a world of firsts. He starts school tomorrow and after he finally snoozed off I just sat and stared across the room from my bed to his and just started losing it. I mean bawling my eyes out like I had just lost a loved one. Full on ugly crying because of all of the “what if’s” my brain was creating. Most of them logical and some of them just facts of life like one he won’t be little enough for me to hold anymore. My heart breaks at how fast he’s growing and for all of the things I can’t protect him from. I have so many fears of something terrible happening while he’s at school, like a shooting, or natural disaster that I can’t change of save him from. It’s like my anxiety took my kid and had a field day with him inside my head. I love him so much more than I have ever loved anything in my entire life. Don’t get me wrong I’m so excited for him and proud of him but my momma heart was not ready for this kind of first. I dread the ones to come like kindergarten or bullies and eventually girls and college or moving out.

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Hello everyone #BipolarDisorder

Hi, I have Bipolar Mania 1 and I’m a brand new mom. I’m doing just fine, love my baby and get so much help from my family-husband and mom who is visiting us for 3 months to help me get into motherhood:) #newmom


Newbie mom on here

#newmom I'm not a new mom, I've got 3 boys , between the ages 4 yrs, 6yrs and 8 yrs old.. all of them have #Disabilities one has my middle son #cerebalpalsy #Gtube #tubiemom my older son has #ADHD #ADD #Deafness my youngest son has #heartcondion #bavd so I just wanna say to mom's out there I know the struggles of hospitals, doctors and so much more!! Feel free to follow me!! Thanks