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    Changing emotions - is it rational vs is it me/traits

    Does anyone else struggle with balancing their thoughts/emotions, and knowing whether they are rational or whether is it me/illness?

    I recently met someone, took a long time! At first they seemed nice/fun... I slowly started to noticed they were were much always talking about themselves, overcompensating, sounding a bit egotistic... but I figured okay - new relationship maybe he is just a little insecure... wants to show off since its a new relationship etc... anyway! It slowly started to make me cringe and I felt I was playing the gf role constantly listening and supporting them get to the next step (new job)... very exhausting, they drained me the laat month but they are very much into me, say they love me (which I feel is a bit soon). I have caught them lying about certain things and naturally i find that difficult to forget due to my traits. He also speaks to his friends/family about us and I feel nothing is private (again something I struggle with due to my traits).

    Anyway - to round this up... the last week went out with friends and was wayyy ott smothering me, made one rude comment about how I was lucky. I pulled him up on it and he put on water works... with no water on his face just came across as fake crying in an attempt to manipulate me/make me back down. Without sounding bad he is coming off quite obsessed/bit manipulative to get me to stay with him but I don't think they have any intention of changing o4 whether they can if they are narcissistic. We only met a few months ago and it went from great spark in the first month to stress and arguments. I just know somethings off but is it me.

    I know I'm not perfect and I know I can think very black/white and I have went from liking someone and finally having a relationship to feeling like this has went very fast (for once not due to me I have greater self awareness in .y 30s) to now feeling slightly repulsed like I have found myself with a horrible person. I can see how me feelings have changed quickly but is it rational or is it me and my traits are making everything seem worse? Do I end it or is this normal relationships and its just harder for those with traits?

    Thanks if anyone toook the time to read this/reply. It's lonely sometimes living with b pd. I am not officially fully diagnosed. Sometimes feel I will never be able to cope with anyone.

    Tc ❤️ #BPD #bpdtraits #Ego #Partner

    8 reactions 9 comments

    Teeny Tiny Itty Bitty Victories

    Today my partner said sometimes it’s hard to be gloomy or quiet around me when I’m going through a hellish mental health breakdown….and when I asked why, she said, “because you don’t take it out on me.” And that felt like a win. Like progress, from my other relationships and it made me happy. So, I just wanted to share.

    Other tiny happies from the day; I walked a yorkie around the block in a stroller, I bought a mousepad at Staples, I ate no less then 4 pieces of Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza. #PizzaHut #smallvictories #TheLittleThings #Mentalbreakdown #Partner #KeepOn #StillTruckin

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    Happy #Valentines Day! #Spoonie #spouse #Partner #Love

    This Valentines day I would like to give a shout out to the able bodied partners who choose to stay in the muddy, the ugly, the uncomfortable, the depressive, the unstable, the frustrating, the confused, the pain-filled, the numerous hospital visits, the side effects of medicines, the new diagnosis, the physically challenged, the I give-up on life, the I can't leave bed, the I can't cook or do chores, the chronic illness life that was handed to us. We may not say it many times but thank you. ♥️♥️♥️

    Thank you for the way you serve us wholeheartedly, for your patience with us, for making us smile and laugh, for giving us something happy to look forward to, for taking us to numerous hospital visits, for buying medicine for us, for dealing with the side effects of the medicines, for doing chores on our behalf, for showing us love in ways we didn't even think we could experience being chronically ill. We see you. We appreciate you. We are eternally grateful for you. And we love you! ♥️♥️♥️


    Anyone looking for a #friend ? #Partner? #Love?

    In this community, we all oftentimes feel alone, unlovable, misunderstood, etc. Well forget all those neurotypical ppl in the world that make us feel any way other than loved.. How about we love on each other? #Depression #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Autism #MentalHealth #BipolarDepression #SocialAnxiety


    Stress to Chill to PAIN

    So I’ve been really stressed for over a week because I’m a supply teacher and with all the schools shut (sort of) in the UK, I didn’t know what I was going to do for money... fortunately I qualify for the 80% pay scheme but I only found out Friday night... so I stopped being so stressed and tense. Great for my mental health but apparently awful for my physical health! I’m in so much pain! So awake at 5am in no sleep, taken tramadol which was USELESS, watching criminal minds and practically bathing in heat cream. FUN. My partner is being so lovely though, making me hot water bottles and rubbing my back in heat cream and not moaning when my tossing/turning/tv wakes him up. Even though he’s knackered from work (NHS specialist biomedical scientist). Love him so much, even after 7 years ❤️ #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #NHS #Pain #Sleep #heatcream #Heat #Crying #Partner #Love #Stress #Lockdown


    How do I support my partner (whom has #ADHD) during one of the most difficult times of his life without being too overwhelming?


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    #Love #Understanding #Partner #Communication

    This resignates so deeply with me. I’m sure we all have some deep, dark baggage we carry that makes us scared to be #Vulnerable to our partners but imagine the weight lifted off our shoulders once we allow ourselves to be understood deeper, accepted and loved even more?


    how to talk to your #Partner about # depression

    how do you explain somthing so complex as #Depression to your partner whom has never been with someone that has had it or has never had it himself.


    ?sign of a #Controlling #relationship

    Have a #coworker who recently got #married to previously #unmarried #Older man, very #rapid #relationship .

    Now she has #cutoff many #Friends and #Coworkers . When he comes to #Office to pick her up for lunch, neither stops to say hello to coworkers.

    #ToxicMarriage #ToxicRelationships #Controlling #Partner #spouse #husband #AbusiveRelationship