Suicidal Thoughts

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Ancillary Methods

I feel, and see, a lot of "Just don't want to" responses to the "Just keep going" posts. Here's two methods that have gotten me some traction on days like those: 1) Think about the haters. If you're convinced that anyone would be happy to see you go, why give them the pleasure? Don't think about the people that will be sad if you're gone, think about that jerk that might take pleasure in it. Do you want to make that jerk happy. No! Stick around, if only to stick it to that probably hypothetical, hopefully imagined, even-if-they're real hater.

2) I always get a jolt out of thinking about what I would've missed had I punched out early already. A good one is music. Some of my favorite artists are still going strong. I don't want to miss out on whatever upcoming great releases they create! It sounds crass sometimes, but it really does pull me over the hump sometimes.

Just a couple more options if the daily affirmations aren't pulling you out of the pit today. #Depression #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #MentalHealth

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Today,the brave inner me who was fighting a silent battle for so long took a decision. It was never easy but I realised that easy was never fun. After seven months, I hurt myself again and I would say sorry to myself for that. Cause I feel that me definately deserves an apology. She has been struggling for so long yet I hurt her when she literally did nothing wrong. Having depression was never her fault. And I also promise to never hurt myself and stand by myself no matter what cause I have been so strong and brave. And I decided I would go on, take my exams no matter how bad my situation is. Cause avoiding this would just make me loser which I was never. it’s been a year and also having Major depressive disorder. So, I am not a loser and I won't just let myself lose whereas I was always been strongest fighter. I am just goona go for it and face it. I don’t care about anything or anyone. It’s always been me and would be always. So, I am not just goona stop my life here when I know I have a bring life ahead and I deserve all the happiness. And I can and I will. Yeah, that’s me. And the mark that I made on my hand would be the reminder that I decided to fight and didn’t just give up cause I value all the pains and hardships I have gone through. People like us can live, can go for their dream and do everything they want. Yes, we can. Well,it’s not the same like others which make us the exceptional and stronger. Life is a crazy adventure and we gotta live. It’s the hardest but it’s definately worth it. Every bit of it. And, I decided to live and enjoy this adventure. I would go everywhere life would take me. I have been through the lowest. so,nothing scares me anymore. It would be bad,then be. I care less. After all the struggles, I know I got it and I also know I have my mother who has my back. When I was crying outside, my mother was sitting there alone for me. I know I have her. She is goona be there with me cause she's been there from the very beginning witnessing my every pain. Believe me, I was so afraid before all that but now I am not anymore.. I would face everything cause I saw the worst before. All I wanna say we can. There are people like me. So, please don’t give up. We can cause we are the strongest. #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts #mighty together

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Not worth it…

I lost my job a few weeks ago and have been struggling to find someone new, then last week I lost my best friend. Thankfully my mom let me cremate him. I’m still really torn up about losing him. It happened so fast and I wasn’t ready. There is this emptness he left behind that’s just unfillable.

My therapist is currently on maternity leave and I feel very alone with a lot on my mind. I keep chickening out in calling the mainline for some support during these last few weeks.

I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts for a while and feel like such a burden and a wast of space and am wondering if it’s even worth it anymore…

#Depression #Grief #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide ##CheckInWithMe

65 reactions 17 comments
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My son is back from his holiday. I don't want to see him tonight because when i do i will just want to hold on to him and not let him go but then my emotions will come flooding out. I will break down and cry . He will say, " You alright, mother? " And i will answer "Yeah all good, just missed you, that's all. " He will never know why i hugged him so tight. Never know when we said goodbye last week that i thought it would be the last goodbye i said to him. I should feel so happy that i survived through last week to see him again. But all I can feel is guilt as I know these thoughts are still there and I should of acted on them while I had the chance. These overpowering negative voices inside my head just won't leave me alone. #Depression #MentalHealth #SuicidalThoughts

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106 reactions 21 comments
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Today,my sister told me that I have a very peaceful life just because she has tobwake up early in the morning. A peaceful life???... Where.. When I am literally fighting for my life, fighting against my suicidal thoughts. When I have no guarantee what will happen with me. When I am literally tired for the whole day taking my anti depressants. When I don’t know how the night even passes. When I am badly physically and mentally drained. Literally have my finals in just two weeks and I even can't open my books. When I am dealing with my Major depressive disorder. When I am dealing with my severe anxiety and nausea and vomiting. I was literally thinking of consuming my sleeping pills. Believe me I have so much pain in my heart and I can't tell anyone. It’s shattering my heart in pieces. I can't.. And you think it’s peaceful... #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts

78 reactions 20 comments
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I´m pretending to be strong, unless I can´t fake it anymore.
I sent an e-mail to my therapist, told him about suicidal thoughts which come and go. I made clear I wanna know what´s going on. Why are these thoughts coming over and over?

At first I was scared to post it here.
But I´d like to know what your experiences with suicidal thoughts are.
Does anyone of you know the reason they come and go?

115 reactions 17 comments
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I am scared to die but I am scared to live. Yeah, I am. I am just so tired. I can't anymore. I can't fight anymore, I can't be strong anymore. I am shattered in pieces. I am too tired. Believe me, I am not that strong to fight both my physical and mental health. My mental health is broken but my phusical health is also messing with me in the worst way. And I can't tolerate this anymore. I have my damn exam in just two weeks and I am not able to open my book. Mental health is troubling me but my physical health is killing me. What should I do.. Should I just die.. I can't anymore. I wanna give up. The whole month, I am suffering with extreme nausea and vomiting. And I feel so bad and weak fater vomiting. I feel like I am goona die. No matter how many medicines I take, it just doesn’t heal. Just vomited and I feel so physically drained that I feel like I am lifeless. Even when I am trying to close my eyes, I am feeling nauseous and I am afraid to sleep because of that. I am starving thinking if I eat, I am just goona vomit. I can't. I am already drained by my mental health and believe me I have no energy to fight against my physical health. I can't anymore. I have so many sleepping pills and I feel like to have them cause I am too tired to live........ #Depression #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation

5 reactions 3 comments