Suicidal Thoughts

Hi, my name is Astrid_Not_Found. I'm here because
im also researching for my sister with suicidal thoughts, intense depression and ADHD, I myself have major depression and don't know how to express it, nor emotions in general and I want to learn how to.
#MightyTogether #Depression #Anxiety #OCD #PTSD #ADHD

I can't handle what my life has become. I miss my life before the abuse. I miss my life before the group home. I'm frustrated I went to college but haven't been able to work. Most of the staff at the group home don't even have college degrees. I failed ending up here. I'm sick of calling 988. ER keeps sending me home. Says I'm not serious. I'm not, I just want the thoughts to go away and nobody helps. They won't go away. I hate having chronic suicidality. #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts

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ITS BEEN 10 FUCKING MONTHS! AM I EVER GOING TO SEE A FUCKING THERAPIST AT THIS POINT?!?!

My dad has to go through a COUNTLESS number of therapists in order to find what we want, to start a SPECIFIC kind of therapy THAT ACCEPTS OUR FUCKING INSURANCE! We got SO FUCKING CLOSE to getting into therapy this month just for that same therapist who we were going to see to close us out and put us on the waiting list… for god knows how long. No, I don’t blame my dad at all for this. He’s trying his fucking best.

I’m so fucking mad. Do not tell me that I should be more patient. It’s been 10 FUCKING MONTHS OF “oh yeah, we’ll get in soon” - a month later “oh yeah, we’ll get in soon”, “we’ll get in soon”.

While I have to sit here and exist every fucking day in this SAME DAMN MISERABLE SOCIETY THAT ONLY CARES ABOUT WHAT WHITE INDIVIDUALS THINK AND MONEY AND AI SLOP!!!!!!!!!! And every fucking day is just me distracting myself to NOT GO INSANE.

Maybe I was better off dead after all. There is no hope for me, why would there be? Why do I even fucking try when there’s no hope for me?

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #IReallyDon ’tWantToDebateOnThisSoPleaseDont #MentalHealth #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Anxiety #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #Vent #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts