TGIF! This week was so long. And, if I am being honest...it sucked. I have been slapped with the realities of what my injuries from my fall look like back in my work environment. It has been really hard on me to not feel like I am able to do things at levels I once was. I feel like I am unable to trust myself to make certain important decisions and am experiencing diminished confidence because of that. I feel I am not doing enough to help some students and feel overwhelmed by way too many factors beyond my control. These things make me more on edge and/or sometimes short tempered. I do not like that feeling and probably haven't been the easiest person to be around. So many times since school started again, I have felt like a burden from having to ask so many questions multiple times because I don't remember the answer or even that I asked already. Sometimes that even includes after I have written it down somewhere. I have been feeling really embarrassed by not being at the level I want to be, wish it wasn't taking longer than normal to learn student's names, etc. Learning how to do things in new ways, figuring out systems and tricks to help myself out, and feeling all the things has definitely exhausted me. Being a frustration crier always stinks too!
I guess the silver lining has been that I can understand more than ever what some of my students experience as they try to navigate their disabilities.