Traumatic Brain Injury

If I keep going there, I won't return to the way I'd prefer. He set me up today, Valentines of all days. If it closes, I will Never see him again and I realized that tonight. I felt it all over again, like three years prior.
I told about the phone call and was met with duh, nothing.They know,I know.And I remember daily.
I don't understand how someone can just say I'm not going to care for you anymore.

I got sick from a brain bleed, a tbi from a rare Cerebral AVM.
I loss it, my life.When I realized who I was, the damage, was done.Now, I'd rather a stranger look after my affairs.Thats messed up to me.They found someone, took two years setting me up, to fail, to struggle.To phase me out but I'm supposed to be grateful and compliant.I was lead to believe I had support.I was being given opportunities and should be grateful and not question anything.But Im to do it alone because they feel I should beable to.I have had zero privacy and zero emotional support. When, I have any qualities of life,they question that, I cannot possibly have a disability.I have never been this confused by the people around me. I have watched their masks fall.I am still navigating social cues and my reactions and my Own control.To be told I was to show him how and teach myself.I can no longer be in this environment.His family,is his.The house, his.The vehicles, his.ALL, his,phones, his mothers but I'm told I have the control issues.She has control issues.And I will no longer have my life controlled by her.I don't care what she gave her son.I never agreed to her holding it over my head twelve years later.They have put a price on my health and the terms of my marriage since recieved my Disability.Im going to be alone and that is fine, I just never thought he'd choose, his mother.Hed rather shame me than have them know the truth.He never believed me and he knew he wasn't going to learn or try.it is that he let me think that I was confused, I questioned my reality for over a year.That, I can't get over right now.Any of them involved.

I wonder if the person who is conducting the orchestra realizes, this player, plays her own song. I have been munipulated, beyond anything I could have imagined.Three years,in the works.I keep track of events and time.A timeline of behaviors and truths.If someone goes outside that, I feel it,immediately.The closest to me, decided to run a game on me, to teach me a lesson.it is wrong, to do that to someone who already has a disability, questions everyone's motives and is alone.I give everyone the benefit of doubt,when they cross me.Lately, I took a step back and took a long hard look at my circle of support.it was my son.That was it.I have been catfished, by multiple posing as friends accounts, of my husbands.I replied to every requests, heard nothing looked up their accounts and they were fake.All in two years, multiple people telling me I'm not online,when I thought I was.Im exhausted from this game of theirs.I am drained and will never understand how adults, cannot use, their words anymore. Text it.Tired of technology and fake relationships.

I wonder if the person who is conducting the orchestra realizes, this player, plays her own song. I have been munipulated, beyond anything I could have imagined.Three years,in the works.I keep track of events and time.A timeline of behaviors and truths.If someone goes outside that, I feel it,immediately.The closest to me, decided to run a game on me, to teach me a lesson.it is wrong, to do that to someone who already has a disability, questions everyone's motives and is alone.I give everyone the benefit of doubt,when they cross me.Lately, I took a step back and took a long hard look at my circle of support.it was my son.That was it.I have been catfished, by multiple posing as friends accounts, of my husbands.I replied to every requests, heard nothing looked up their accounts and they were fake.All in two years, multiple people telling me I'm not online,when I thought I was.Im exhausted from this game of theirs.I am drained and will never understand how adults, cannot use, their words anymore. Text it.Tired of technology and fake relationships.

He pretended to be clueless and confused today, https://again.I was already in a panic state to him coming home.it is https://bad.I have confirmation now, that his friend decided to hack everything and this has, been happening for over a https://year.I am livid..I have proof now and I feel like it is 100times more sick,than I https://imagined.I find out about the house https://soon.The chance of them letting it go are https://slim.I warned him and he became angry,asked too many specific questions when I https://flipped.Each time, I caught https://it.Within two hours both me and my sons phones were acting https://up.Then another txt acting and attacking https://me.These people have no idea how hard I will fight for what is https://mine.I spent years,never having anything scheduled, no celebrations,no family traditions,no safety for my https://son.Absolutely no protection,at https://all.He wanted me to stray,pushed me, made plans, arrangements and then became my enemy,when I told him I always,chose https://him.Saddest story of a marriage I've ever https://heard.He had the man have his friends hit on me,say things as I walked by,follow me,endlessly.He has full links to my https://family.His own mother told me to take the money and https://run.She told me the truth last year, moved away and now states she never told me that.it is munipulation and lack of courage from my https://husband.He did the same thing to me twenty four years https://ago.I can't believe I took him back, let him raise my son, put me last for sixteen years, and I let https://him.He know said he never loved me.
His male friends and their wives,can, have https://him.He is going to play IT his way, as he always https://has.He wasted my time and spirit,instead of being https://honest.I will never forgive these https://people.And I will fight,just as I always https://have.I built this house with https://him.I sweat,bled for nothing but a ceiling over my head,which he feels is enough for https://us.A unfinished house that triggers his family, so much that they leave...They told https://him.They told him and he'd promised but he can only still give the minimum and make sure his reputation https://stands.He didnt care and noone can ever know the https://truth.His pride,bigger than his empathy or https://family.He truly does not https://care.He was told how to hurt me and two years I have taken it. BUT,now I'm out,completely.Everything he has done has been https://exposed.From spending,gambling,lying,avoiding family and the sabotaging munipulation is the saddest display I have ever https://saw.He believed if I have the capacity in one area Im faking my TBI,and AVM https://issues.His peers are ignorant,loyal to a fault, to my diagnosis and where I am in therapy.my sessions were listened to through zoom.it is unrepairable and grounds for divorce times ten!He has no clue what he has https://done.He was not allowed to touch the settlement and he https://did.He knew what he was doing prior to a separation. He wanted separate, he knew you cannot sell your house with a dependant on disability,without informing them,ecspecially when one is seeking a https://seperation.He knew about the studio and slipped,everything has been orchestrated in my https://life.He has changed the narrative to imply a dissociative mental state every two weeks,to me, as if I don't live it every second of every https://day.How can a person do this to someone?And expect them to walk away without their tail between their legs?

I have a terrible memory.I always have.I am unable to retrieve when I try, retaining,a major issue but rather scattered by interest.I will admit, not deep sleeping for days, my memory is on fire.The opposite happens.I get a wave of memories and emotions.Desturbingly so often that life stops from my lack of coping skills,still.I try and it becomes repetitive each time.im going backwards,and watching from inside, again.Everytime gets longer instead of shorter somehow.
I am numb,
Thunderstruck, great word.
I do not find humor in my situation to warrant what I have had to deal with.Forcing obstacles and issues, is not genuinely giving the person growth or life.I am sinicle,jaded and hurt beyond facing them, any of them.I wanted to trust that space but I was not given the opportunity.it was a sympathetic gesture,a test,a bigger plan or I don't understand.I thought it was something different and the feelings around the space, became more isolated than a place I needed.No one came, no one.And that hurt.Associating any hurt within a space effects me, beyond tolerance.It is not a lack of coping skills, It is by choice.I have never had these panic attacks to the point of body reactions.The space is soaked, ruined, not mine.