Unappreciated

Having severe #PanicAttacks at work - coworkers and boss ignore me, act as if I’m not there, treating me like a toddler that’s throwing a tantrum. Expected to run entire dept w/o prior experience, little training, 5 mos in, not the job discussed in interview. Today coworker said “I have no sympathy for you” when I said “I’m having a panic attack” - it lasted 5 hours. Worst one yet! #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Discrimination #alienated #Unappreciated

So with no one knowing what was wrong they assumed he was lying so then they requested he be sent to the base in Atlanta Georgia for mental evaluation to see if he was lying. Left both kids this time with my grandmother and drove 4 hours just so they can show him ink blocks ask the same questions is different ways and a polygraph. He passed everything. So now they request he be sent to a Neurologist in Charleston at M.U.S.C which is 2 hours away. He goes through all the tests and to find out he has to have neck surgery and it’s bad. Weird that the VA didn’t see that🤷🏻‍♀️ so we make an emergency appointment and I take him of course the wait was sooooo long and I was in constant panic, worry and so much anxiety. After we get home and of course I have to care for him, as I should because I know he would do the same. Knowing he’s a grumpy patient I try and be positive, loving and understanding. Recovers and I go back to work so same routine Husband breakfast, kids school, then work, lunch break home to do homework and make lunch, back to work then home get them ready for game or either practice which last an hour or more then home again, dinner and kids washed and bedtime. Oh and let’s not forget now its my husbands turn for attention plus I’m still caring for him. In the mean time I apply for social security for him do all the footwork make sure every file is separated by body part and date. I make 3 copies one for social security one for me and one for his doctor. Finalizing came and he was denied. I appealed and got a social security lawyer which did nothing but show up to court. I did more research and connected all his injuries from other injuries he received while in Active duty. He won and was awarded back pay so now he gets social security disability and Medicare. Then I had to tackle VA to move his disability rating to 100%. I made them a packet as well and put In more claims he was approved for the 100% plus more pay, so now he has tricare for life and Medicare plus our 2 kids benefit because they get paid by social security as well. It was just a lot on my part because I had to do everything call doctors take forms for them to fill out get recommendation letters and fax everything. So in between doing all that I still had a household to run. I started to feel unappreciated and disrespected. My husband now can sit home and watch the kids and start doing something’s to help me out. Well, I eventually find that he’s on his computer most of the time talking to women and I still had to take the kids to school, work, lunch break equals homework plus lunch (which I never got to eat) back to work then home to make dinner, wash kids and put them to bed. So not to sound rude I asked if he could help with the homework and maybe dinner sometimes if you know I’m going to be late and I was told that’s my job. Literally I have came home to him saying he is starving and I’m like why didn’t you eat he says because I was waiting on you. ——> part3 #exhasted

I feel like a total loser I will be turning 30 and I feel that I didn't accomplish anything close to obtaining happiness. I am very blessed and grateful however I'm not happy. I don't want to work where I work anymore reason for that is Because I work in a very toxic environment we are understaffed and overworked it wasn't always like this but it's now a year and the company hasnt bothered to replace the people we have lost.

I had a freak out moment at work on dec 6. and ever since then I have been on FMLA and I've been trying to take this time to find something new to find something that will spark my interest I had a lot of weeds but nothing. So now I'm going back and nothing has changed I am afraid of what will happen with myself
I can't quit my job unless I have a job but unfortunately jobs out there do not pay enough to live by.
I have already used up my sick time and I am on unpaid leave. I wish the universe just give me a sign of what to do. #lost #useless #hopeless #Unappreciated #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #turning30 #stupid

One of the things that hurts the most is when you’re a point in your life where things are not the best, and you have a best friend that you care for so much and love... as in that person makes you feel happy and untethered from reality when you are around them. You expect they care the same way about you, but as time rolls and actions get played out, you start concluding that they don’t have the same feelings and intentions towards you. It destroys me. Anyone been through this? #alone

I am really hurting today and ther
e is not a soul I can turn to for support or comfort. So I will sit here and weap 😭