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My Recent Mental Health ‘Perfect Storm'

A Mental Health ‘Perfect Storm”

By: Doug Ferguson (Bearded Ministry)

I recently suffered a bit of a setback or in my head, went through a necessary learning experience. Make no mistake, it was no fun!

I had sleepless nights, lack of nutrition, people attacking me, the devil attacking me, my medication was late(missed 2 days), stressed over money, meds, life, knowing I wasn’t thinking clearly, all in the span of a week I went from preaching about God being bigger than circumstances to right in the prison of my own mental circumstance, and crying out in depression, anxiety, past trauma from similar circumstances(or results of them) and not wanting to be in, or go back in, that cave of despair and desperation.

For Harry Potter fans(I am one) I am like a phoenix rising from the ashes of alleged defeat, living to fight again another day. I admit I like my fantasy stories, I am a big fan of Dumbledore, Gandalf, Game of Thrones, Star Wars.

I also have a strong belief that God is bigger than my/yours/our situations or circumstances, that they are often ‘mental prisons’ we get ourselves into, often leading to physical implications (at least for me) and more and more wrong or bad decisions, thoughts, actions. Kind of like a hamster wheel that just spins faster each cycle, gets harder to stand. For that requires leaning fully on my God, for nothing is impossible with Him. (Luke 1:37, 1 Cor 10:13)

My prayers , and often my social media timelines, look a lot like David’s crying out in the book of Psalms. I am one who cries out verbally and publicly, I have no shame or regret in that, maybe not always proud (in hindsight only) of what I post but there is always a purpose. I am not currently ready to consistently reach out by phone, I do not enjoy talking on the phone(except to my Mom and Grandmas). My way of reaching out is often my crying out online, sorry (not sorry). It is a process and I will get better, I promise, to you and to myself if it is God’s will. You will, for now, continue to see me cry out openly, honestly, the good and the bad, the trials and successes, the struggles and victories. My mountains and valleys! I hope for and believe in Victory!

Maybe part of my message is just that, the struggle, the process and the ultimate victory over the mental and physical pain, who knows, all in time!

So, I will slow down, reset, do things the right way, not right away, and continue to learn to trust (and give trust).

#MentalHealth #Depression #Victory #beardformentalhealth #Crohns #ChronicIllness #Anxiety #PTSD


I did a Good Scary Thing

I just did something really good tonight that is something I’ve been anxious about for a long time. It was a terrifying thing, but I did it! I didn’t give into overwhelming fears and run away from it OR give myself the chance to freeze and avoid doing it. I reached out for support and I did the Terrifying Thing!
Lately I’ve felt like I’ve been drifting along in my life, not really living, but tonight I feel the most alive that I have in a long time, and I’m the most proud of myself that I have been in a really long time. What I did was, in reality, just something small that might not result in what I’m hoping for, but the end result of this isn’t the point. The point is that I’m finally turning around the fight with my anxiety, and I’m starting to do things despite my anxieties. The point is I’m rebuilding my life, and I’m starting to help myself do it. The point is I’m happy and proud of myself right now. The point is my anxiety did not win tonight. This was a small thing that I did, but it was a big step for me.

#Anxiety #stressed #scared #Depression #fightinganxiety #battlewithinmyself #battlewithanxiety #iamproudofme #Victory

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CONQUER YOUR MIND #mind #power #Victory

esterday I launched my podcast called “Psychology Diary” on Anchor. In my first episode, I talked about conquering your mind.

You see the mind is a complex web of thoughts, ideas, and various other patterns that are involved in our psychological makeup.

In our mind, we have what we call an Ego. This part of the mind always tries to pull us down to make us believe that we cannot meet up with our responsibilities. We should therefore try to kill this loud voice in our head.

Time after time again we are faced with challenges in our lives that push us beyond our limits but with a strong mind and a determined spirit we will finally conquer the mind.

There used to be a time in my life where I felt depressed, anxious all the time. There were days when I did not want to do anything at all for fear of failing. Then I realized that failure is part of the growth process.

The mind is like a garden, when you water and tend to it, it will grow sweet smelling flowers and plants. So it is important to feed it with he right food everyday.

Here are some actions you can take to feed the mind positively.

1. Exercise Regularly

2. Healthy eating habits

3. Get enough sleep

4. Practice Meditation

5. Read good books

6. Play Brain training games

By using this daily practices you can be sure that the mind will grow well and strong.

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Little Victories

My 21st birthday is coming up and I honestly didn’t think I’d make it past 16 #Victory #suicidal #Depression

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What is a little #medical #Victory you have had this week?

I about did a happy dance this morning when my doctor told me my white count was down to normal levels... AND he is letting me do 2 more days of IV vancomycin instead of 5! I’ve was diagnosed with an #CommonVariableImmuneDeficiency . and antibiotic resistant pneumonia. So it’s been quite the wild ride! Sometimes the smallest sucsesses can actually be pretty HUGE What is a small medical sucsess you have had This week? #ThriverThursday #MightyQuestions #MightyTogether


celebrate mini victories

Two days ago I went back to my psychiatrist after 4 months because my #suicidal #Thoughts < are so strong at the moment. This is a small #Victory for me that I want to #celebrate


When You DON'T Faint #DysautonomiaAwarenessMonth #Victory

I'm just so happy right now- I recently fainted pretty dramatically with convulsions in front of people close to me, had a difficult time regaining/staying consious and had to be taken in an ambulance...
I thought that was about to happen again, felt my sugar was low as well which would complicate things more.
I had a pickle (salt) a honey stick( short acting carb) and some old stale plain cereal (long acting carb) and drank some water and some nuun and got out of it!!!
#Hope #Stronger #YesICan #IWonThatBattle #warrior

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Standing up again #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Well, I was just on too much pain. I wasn’t able to handle anything. Everything was stressing me out. After multiple episodes of negative thoughts. And after crying everything out. I decided to wake up early and go to my gym to exercise as I haven’t been active for a whole month. I am proud that I convinced myself to stand up again.
#BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #proud #EatingDisorders #Victory