My Recent Mental Health ‘Perfect Storm'
A Mental Health ‘Perfect Storm”
By: Doug Ferguson (Bearded Ministry)
I recently suffered a bit of a setback or in my head, went through a necessary learning experience. Make no mistake, it was no fun!
I had sleepless nights, lack of nutrition, people attacking me, the devil attacking me, my medication was late(missed 2 days), stressed over money, meds, life, knowing I wasn’t thinking clearly, all in the span of a week I went from preaching about God being bigger than circumstances to right in the prison of my own mental circumstance, and crying out in depression, anxiety, past trauma from similar circumstances(or results of them) and not wanting to be in, or go back in, that cave of despair and desperation.
For Harry Potter fans(I am one) I am like a phoenix rising from the ashes of alleged defeat, living to fight again another day. I admit I like my fantasy stories, I am a big fan of Dumbledore, Gandalf, Game of Thrones, Star Wars.
I also have a strong belief that God is bigger than my/yours/our situations or circumstances, that they are often ‘mental prisons’ we get ourselves into, often leading to physical implications (at least for me) and more and more wrong or bad decisions, thoughts, actions. Kind of like a hamster wheel that just spins faster each cycle, gets harder to stand. For that requires leaning fully on my God, for nothing is impossible with Him. (Luke 1:37, 1 Cor 10:13)
My prayers , and often my social media timelines, look a lot like David’s crying out in the book of Psalms. I am one who cries out verbally and publicly, I have no shame or regret in that, maybe not always proud (in hindsight only) of what I post but there is always a purpose. I am not currently ready to consistently reach out by phone, I do not enjoy talking on the phone(except to my Mom and Grandmas). My way of reaching out is often my crying out online, sorry (not sorry). It is a process and I will get better, I promise, to you and to myself if it is God’s will. You will, for now, continue to see me cry out openly, honestly, the good and the bad, the trials and successes, the struggles and victories. My mountains and valleys! I hope for and believe in Victory!
Maybe part of my message is just that, the struggle, the process and the ultimate victory over the mental and physical pain, who knows, all in time!
So, I will slow down, reset, do things the right way, not right away, and continue to learn to trust (and give trust).