assault survivors

sorry if it’s long and all over the place i just wanna know if anyone feels how i do. i was sexually assaulted by my mother and her bf from 2-4. it caused severe depression very early on in my life and went untreated due to a conservative father.(he’s a diagnosed narcissist) i lived with my dad until i was 14 then moved in with my grandparents bc he was always with his gf and her family. i was always left to fend for myself food, getting to school, setting up doctors appointments basically everything except financially. i wanted him to pay attention so i started doing drugs, going to paries, having sex with random guys some who were wayyyy to old. i consented but i don’t know how to feel about it bc they were the adult in the situation and should’ve stopped it. at a party i was raped by two guys. i feel like all of this is my fault bc if i would’ve accepted that my dad wanted his other family then i wouldn’t have put myself in those environments. i tried to kms which i will never do again (i had been begging for a therapist for almost a year atp) and i was going to tell my dad everything but when i tried he wouldn’t let me talk and basically told me i was depressed because of myself. only 2 people know the entire story of why i tried to kms. it hurts because i wanted to tell him so bad but he only cared about how i made him look by trying to kms. after that i told him i didn’t want to see him anymore and all he had to say was that i was the problem every time i tried to tell him how i feel. it’s started to make me feel like i really was the problem bc after we stopped talking he seems so much happier with his new family(completely different one from when i was 14) im only 17 so i can’t take myself to the doctor even though i live on my own/provide for myself and when i try to contact him to at least call and okay for me to sign myself in he tells me to get over it and if i wanna be grown to figure it out. i don’t wanna be grown i just wanted my dad to love me. also is there something wrong with me that just makes people want to sa me. i coped with the first one but then it happened again and i don’t think i will ever recover. i’m always paranoid and if i see someone who even remotely looks like my abuser i panic and want to cry. i’ve been fine for years until recently idk what made it bad again. #AssaultSurvivors #Depression #NarcissisticAbuse

Hi Mighties! I just wanted to say hello. I'm new to this group and thought I'd give a little about myself. And to say that my school doesn't like that I am on Mighty.

I'm a sexual assault victim. I've been assaulted many times in my short life span. The result has led to (what I think is) some form of DID? I don't know because I don't get to research my symptoms. I think I'm bipolar but I don't know. I'm undiagnosed for anything because of my mom and step father.

I'm only 17 and I dream of opening my own coffee shop/ book store. I don't know much about what I'm doing, just trying to figure everything out as I go.

Hi everyone. I hope your day is going well, remember if you need someone to talk to we are here, my dm is always open. I’m going to open a room in a few hours, I will post updates. It will be there if you need support, maybe meet each other, and also to just cheer each other up. It’s a safe space and we can just talk, I’m excited to hopefully meet you 😊 If you feel comfortable and can, we would love to have you there . #Trauma #Childhoodtrauma #ChildhoodAbuse #AssaultSurvivors #CPTSD #PTSD #SexualViolenceSurvivors #Depression #Anxiety

#AssaultSurvivors If a woman (drunk) says no and a man (sober enough to drive) doesn’t stop, so she goes along with his actions...did her consent change?

I’ve been thinking about this one a lot lately. I’m still riddled with #PTSD and #Anxiety over my own assault. I’ve recently gone public with my story and someone said something to me that made me start thinking, would I go back and change it if I could? Honestly I’m not sure if I would or not. I know that could confuse so many people so I’ll explain and I want your answers too. It’s obviously this awful, worse than words can say event that changed me and the course of my life forever. However I am who I am because of it. I am a strong woman who has over come so much and I don’t know who I would be without my past. I was just a little girl when it happened to me and it changed my whole life. I was at home with my sisters and my cousins so if it hadn’t been me it could’ve been them and I’d much rather it be me than them. I don’t want to have grown up seeing them go through the trauma that I went through. && on the other hand my life would be sooooo different without it. Maybe I’d even be normal.. I watch all of my old classmates and peers growing up and having lives, families, careers, and living on their own. Yet here I am and I feel stuck. I find myself constantly having a battle within of wishing my life was different and thinking no this is exactly how it was supposed to be. Does anyone else think like this? I’d love to know your thoughts on the question.. Would you go back in time and change what happened to you or would you leave it as is and why??? Thanks in advance as I know this can potentially be triggering.

youtu.be/FUQheX3PSnY

First things first
I'mma say all the words inside my head
I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh-ooh
The way that things have been, oh-ooh

Second thing second
Don't you tell me what you think that I can be
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, oh-ooh
The master of my sea, oh-ooh
I was broken from a young age
Taking my soul into the masses
Write down my poems for the few
That looked at me
Took to me, shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heart ache from the pain
Take up my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
Seeing the beauty through the...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Pain!
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer

Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My luck, my love, my God, they came from...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Third things third
Send a prayer to the ones up above
All the hate that you've heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh-ooh
Your spirit up above, oh-ooh
I was choking in the crowd
Living my brain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Pain!
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer

Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain

My luck, my love, my God, they came from...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Last things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh-ooh
The blood in my veins, oh-ooh
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

Pain!
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer

Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain

My luck, my love, my God, they came from...

Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

#Pain #ChronicPain #resilience #Survivor #ChildAbuse #AssaultSurvivors #musicthatheals #musictherapy #Depression #PTSDSongs #ptsdsurvivor #PTSDfromAbuse #PTSDisnojoke #CPTSD