sexual violence survivors

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Checking In , Opening Room Later🙂💕

Hi everyone. I hope your day is going well, remember if you need someone to talk to we are here, my dm is always open. I’m going to open a room in a few hours, I will post updates. It will be there if you need support, maybe meet each other, and also to just cheer each other up. It’s a safe space and we can just talk, I’m excited to hopefully meet you 😊 If you feel comfortable and can, we would love to have you there . #Trauma #Childhoodtrauma #ChildhoodAbuse #AssaultSurvivors #CPTSD #PTSD #SexualViolenceSurvivors #Depression #Anxiety

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The places you go....

15 years ago about this time, my mom and daughter walked in to find me unconscious on the floor and vomiting blood. Paramedics came and told my mom they had to move, not to run red lights with them. Fast forward my blood pressure was 24/18, I was on a ventilator with a blood sugar of over “1600” (my mom says). They told her I wouldn’t make it from ER to ICU. Last rites were done and 5 days later I woke up. I burned every bridge I had but my family and started a whole new life. It’s amazing where life can take you if you just have faith. #SexualViolenceSurvivors #PTSD

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The First.

TW: Adolescent rape, potential childhood/adolescent molestation/rape, & cursing.

I wish I could wash him off my skin. The memory of him. He humiliated me so much. I think that was part of his sick game. He was the first man to hurt me like that other than my father. I can’t remember if I had dates my first love yet, John. The first guys name was Hunter.

I’m tired of being scared of confronting it. I’m tired of being scared of saying their names. I went and looked at their Instagram/Facebook profiles. John doesn’t affect me as much anymore. It’s like looking at a meaningless stranger. Hunter, on the other hand, is a bit different.

Hunter is harder to look at. I haven’t really dealt with what he did to me. How he raped me. How Hunter raped me. I fucking hate him and his stupid fucking face. I hate when he smiles and when he’s happy. I want him to always be unhappy. I want him to suffer forever. It’s hard. It’s hard knowing he’s happy and walking around free and without a care in the world.

I feel guilty not reporting him. It’s just that it wasn’t until months later I started to realize that it might’ve been rape. There was no proof, I was scared and alone, I didn’t feel like I could win the court case and I didn’t feel strong and confident enough to do it all on my own. But I hate that I could’ve done something to prevent him from raping more women. His Facebook says he’s even in a relationship.

Fuck.

I’m having a hard time recovering repressed memories from my childhood. It’s frustrating as fucking hell. I’m just trying to figure everything out. There were some things that happened and I’ve never understood why they happened and I can’t really ask my parents because they will most likely lie because the truth makes them look bad.

I was in third grade and essentially I had a “fluke menstruation.” The fuck? Who the hell does that happen to? The thing is is that it happened only once, and my mother took me to the doctor and the doctor just blew the whole thing off. I’m worried that there was an instance of sexual abuse that caused the so called “fluke menstruation.”

#PTSD #SexualTrauma #SexualAssault #SexualAbuse #SexualAbuseSurvivors #repressedmemories #TraumaRecovery #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #mentalabuse #SexualViolenceSurvivors #SexualViolence #ChildAbuse #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #ChildSexualAbuse #adolescent sexual molestation trauma

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Overcoming my PTSD #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #PTSD #Trauma

Lately I have been finding that one if the biggest things holding me back from growing as a person and becoming better mentally is my trauma. I constantly have flashbacks, I have so many triggers for so many different things. It effects my everyday life so much and it stops me from functioning as a normal teenager so much! I just wanna know any possible ways to overcome trauma. To convince yourself that YOU are STRONGER then what ever is haunting you from the past. I have tried so hard to fight my demons face to face but it hasn’t worked for me. Just caused me to break down. #PTSD #Trauma #SexualTrauma #SexualViolenceSurvivors

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“Weebles May Wobble but they ...”

Hi Y’all-
I’m Sara. I’m new here but also not.
I know I haven’t had much opportunity to open up on The Mighty. That said: Simply being able to read and press the ♥️ button has been an INCREDIBLE HELP. THANK YOU FELLOW MIGHTY WARRIORS!

With that in mind- let me jump on into the deep end (I’m talking diving via springboard-nose plugs and all) of the pool.

I absolutely dig the “Favorite Quotes”
Post (?) Pardon-as I learn more Mighty jargon 😉☺️...

Today- I put a quote up in that thread. Total ‘No Holds Barred’ I could think of many a quote- and will probably add more.
But I digress-

The quote that popped into my head is from a band named ‘NoMeansNo’
The quote:
“Nonsense is better than no sense at all.“
From their ‘0+2=1’ Album.

The thing is - the quote has always stuck with me for various reasons-
Recently, however, it’s become emblazoned in my heart 💜 and MIND.

It has become even more special to me b/c My Best friend
(aka- the FAMILY I Choose) of over 25 years passed away not even 1 year ago (2019)
His birthday was March 11. He would’ve been 46 this year.
Now, Myself and Family/ FRamily alike, must get through April.
April will be 1 year of his passing.
I’m a bit all over the place.
Pinging from thought to thought- just as I did as the dancer that I once was...literally Spinning and jumping-
Only now, the landing is tougher.
The spinning doesn’t stop- even if I look at one fixed point in the distance
(as dancers are trained to do so that we don’t fall over).

Lately I’ve been more like a ‘Weeble - Wobble’. Remember those?
That succinct tag line:
“Weebles Wobble BUT they don’t fall down!”

Ok, Now I’m ‘dating myself in time’ and I can hear the echo of his (my friend’s) laughter just from me writing about Weeble Wobbles... 🤷🏻‍♀️ Oy.

With all the Chronic illnesses that have been w/me since birth + The Cancer I got through + the Cancer’s Aftermath and NOW new Neurology issues -(That list is long enough for this moment) -

Putting all that aside
I can only say: In MY personal experience- My 42 years of this crap-

I am used to being the one who survives in this Intoxicatingly Beautiful Tragic yet Wondrous Life.

I’m not complaining -ok maybe a lil bit- but it does beg the question: “Why me?”

Not exactly “Why is this happening to me?!” Although those days do happen. Y’all know! We all get them 🙃

Rather: “Why Me?”
As in “Why am I still here?”
Watching people who have had the same or similar experiences, illness or issues fade away. . . 🧚‍♂️
“Why am I still here?”
—————————
#introduction
#CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether #CPTSD #SurvivorsGuilt #SexualViolenceSurvivors #IllnessAnxietyDisorder
#non-SmallCellLungCancer #MixedConnectiveTissueDiseaseMCTD #Migraines #Goodgrief #weebleswobble #Neuropathy #ImmuneDeficiency

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Let's talk about sex #SexualDysfunctions

Have you had problems with sex?
I'm 19 years old girl and I've a lot of problems with sex. I don't like sex...but at the same time I've the urge to do it and discover my body. I've never masturbated in my all life...yeah I know, this seems pretty strange, but it's the thruth. This summer I tried but I finished cut myself with a lot of feelings of shame and disgust. I'm anorgasmic too: I don't know what an orgasm is...people says that is a very incredible things. All my sexual relationship were horrible...and I didn't feel very much...then I discover that's dissociation. Sometimes I feel that the person who has sex with me is abusing me, although I give him the consent. Then I discover that my abusive ex raped me...but I've yet had problems with sex, like dissociation and bad feelings during sex. My therapist thinks that probably I suffered other type of abuse before the rape of my ex. I think that a part of myself is missing...I hope one day I'll have a great sexual life. Someone like me? :D
#anorgasmia #Not enjoying sex #SexAndRelationships #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Selfharm #SexualViolenceSurvivors #AbusiveRelationship

16 comments