Today
Today I swam.
I been keeping people at a distance.
I just seem to want to be on my own alot recently.
Nothing wrong with it but I do feel lonely.
I've been shutting my therapist out alot because the last time I saw her I was very depressed due to medication changes.
She keeps asking where I stand with therapy. But I feel really mixed feelings of ambivalence about meeting again.
My psychiatrist said to persevere with it. But it's just so triggering. I was in freeze response last time. Also my sense of fight or flight was activated but I felt glued to the seat as if my abuser was in the room.
I really don't want to go back to therapy.
But she is the last person I've seen in many years that I've really shared more with her than anyone. #CPTSD #Anxiety #Depression