compulsion

Whenever I am watching TV or movies, anything except comedy, I continually hum, and have done so all my life. Sometimes I hum an actual tune, but in the vast majority of the time, I hum  just 2 or 3 random notes, which I will repeat for really long periods of time. Sometimes it is in unison with a main note in the background music, or a harmony,  but most times the notes have nothing to do with the music soundtrack. As you can imagine, it distracts and irritates other people to varying degrees. My solution, since I haven't been able to stop it, is just to watch alone. If you still don't understand what I am talking about, imagine sitting next to someone humming the cello notes to the theme from JAWS while you are trying to concentrate on an episode of The Gilmore Girls, or Dateline, or Law & Order.  I've done this my whole life, and it soothes me while at the same time it embarrasses me because I can't stop without starting up again a couple of minutes later, usually unbeknownst to me. I'm not actually looking for a cure for this. I just want to know if I am the only one, and does anybody know why I might do it, or where it comes from? Thanks for your time. Peace.♧

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Just having some serious issues controlling my emotions and how much they consume me lately. Like I just think and feel and it continues to get deeper and deeper and I feel so suffocated and can’t breathe. But it’s not in an anxious way, it’s not that knotted feeling or the touch of dread. It’s just like a rush of waves, when you’ve taken MDMA and you’re peaking, that warmth of a high but none of the good feeling attached. Makes me feel like I’m going insane. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #compulsion