For the last 5 years I’ve been through 9 major surgeries, 5+ dozen procedures, 80-90 hospitalizations, pneumonia 6 times, MRSA/Staph 4 times, had a feeding tube for about 8 mos, 5 PICC lines, 2 central lines, and a partridge in a dead tree. Pear I mean pear tree!! 😂 And to add to that, my home burned down to arson and I was the only one home, took care of and buried my grandfather with Alzheimer’s, dealt with a cheating and selfish narcissistic spouse, 2 major hurricanes, and countless other stressors that I can’t even mention. While we were evacuated for Hurricane Laura, I started having severe lower right abdominal and side back pains. Well, I kinda hoped it was just gas, constipation, or even a stressful tummy. Around 3 am at the hotel, I had to wake the husband up (who was angry because I needed to go to the Er in a strange town I’d never been in) to take me to the hospital because I thought it was my appendix. Hell, that’d been easy compared to this. I have a tumor on my right kidney that’s growing quite aggressively. I seen the regular urologist today. She’s ordered a stat MRI (that I have to be sedated for) and is sending me to a urological oncologist (I think I got that right). Apparently he’s #2 in all of UTMB oncology, and this is kind of his specialty. While I’m grateful she’s sending me to one of the best, it takes my anxiety to a whole other level. I even apologized in the room with her because I was rambling (I do that when I’m anxious) and dropped some papers. I told her “I’m sorry I’m just concerned and worried.” She said “It’s ok. You have every right to be concerned because I am too.” I almost lost it. I’m sooo tired of hospitals and tests and crap.