Faith and Illness

Yesterday I went to my new primary care provider for pain and getting established with her for care. Upon my arrival, she diagnosed me with ADHD based on my behavior (I guess I always thought I was like everyone else) and based on evaluation.

My mother was just recently diagnosed with ADHD as well so I suppose it should surprise me. I have also been asked by other of I was diagnosed with ADHD. To be honest I really thought that I just had extra energy from being cooped up because of Ehlers-danlos and chronic pain a month and a myriad of other issues.

After taking the assessment I realize I have ADHD and now I'm trying to process this new information and well, let me tell you, it's not easy. I have always thought that the things that were pointed out were part of my better side but now I just feel like I'm awkward and weird because I've had all the “weird” things pointed out to me. I am looking over all my interactions and wondering how “weird” I have been seen as all this time. I'd question everything I do and wonder if yet another person was going to avoid me because of my ADHD symptoms.

I believe in Jesus and I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Made in the image of God but still I wonder if my symptoms have been holding me back and keeping me isolated because people don't understand me and I don't know how to communicate what is going on inside my head. Have I scared all my friends away by talking too much, hyper-focusing, and such?

I'm, nonetheless, thankful that God has given me this chance and understanding to reach out to others with similar issues and be able to share the joy and comfort I have found and continue to pursue every day in Christ.

Can anyone else relate?
#ADHDInGirls #ADHD #CombinedPresentationADHD #Christian #FaithAndIllness #Faith

How do I remain fixed in my spiritual life when my mind is all over the place within a day? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Faith #FaithAndIllness

Once upon a starry night, the sky of stars shined so bright.
Lightyears of distance between each one, there are many abroad just like our sun.
Many gazed way up high, but some, the old, began to cry.
The beauty of the cosmos is beyond human description, gazing way up may be one’s prescription.

Creation in itself, born from our Creator. Born with infinite precision, unreplicable, loved by him.
From the fish of the sea to the birds of the sky.
Every microorgansim, every macroorgansim.
Biology, Chemistry, and Mathematics, all is connected without one atom left out. This connection is brought from the one up high.

Us humans take much for granted.
Overlooking the beauty and work is all we do.
Overlooking his grace and his mercy, our maker, our healer, our companion. Love is all he wants from us, for us to love him, others, and all.

The universe will not last forever, all will come to an end.
The book of life shall close and the end of the story will commence.
Until that day, I strive to love, I strive to forgive, I strive to take up my cross, respect all people, to deal with my condition gratefully and out of love.
Watch that sunset, climb that mountain, walk that beach, and spend time with those you love most.
Someday, you won’t be able to.

#CatholicChurch #Gratitude #FaithAndIllness #Faith #Jesus #god #Grief #MightyPoets #Poem #Poetry

#MentalHealth #Church #Faith #FaithAndIllness

Raising our son has always been a joy. We have two grown daughters and one of them had inherited genes for depression and anxiety and had to be medicated at the age of 8. But our other daughter has always been strong and healthy. We always thought our son was too. He has had a few issues in school with being overwhelmed but we dealt with it as it came and moved on. He has a wonderful comedic personality and people love to be around him. He also has a strong faith in God. Little did I understand that comedy is one way to deal with depression to help hide what’s really going on. Last year as a sophomore in high school he went to his counselor and said “if I have to endure this everyday, I’d rather not be here.” This was our big awakening. We self checked him into a clinic for a week to help him sort out what he was feeling. They put him on a very low dose antidepressant which seemed to help. We unenrolled him from school to give him some time. We have since moved states, and although he was very excited to move, the depression has returned. He has reduced his medication on his own. He isn’t opposed to taking it but doesn’t really like the idea of having to rely on it full time. We are needing to establish a Dr in this area to help us with getting more and I’m looking into therapy for us all. He has no desire to go back to school, to drive, or to work. He doesn’t sleep and has major social anxiety. I pray a lot. I have ask him to join this app to feel a connection with others.

When you have a mental illness it can be extremely difficult to feel connected with God. I grew up in a stong Christian family, and I always did what I knew I was supposed to. I always went to church, I always said the right things, always seemed to be super spiritual. But the reality was I said what I knew people would want to hear and internally I was struggling a lot. I wanted to badly to feel the peace and truth of the gospel, I wanted to have faith and believe, but try as I might I couldn’t.

This is something I struggle with to this day. And it’s hard, because it truly is something I want, but it seems impossible. I know my mental illness has played a huge part in this faith struggle, but that isn’t the only cause. Often others dismiss my faith struggle because of my mental illness. That is simply not fair. Others say it’s because I’m not trying hard enough, but I have put my heart and soul into my efforts to gain faith, I have tried everything I can.

So for those of you who may be going through something similar and your mental health has made it more difficult, know you’re not alone. I have to make an effort every single day and guess what, I still have severe doubts, days where I mentally can’t, days where I feel like I’ve failed God and disappointed my family. It’s hard, and it sucks. But I have to believe that my desire to want to believe is enough that God understands and loves me. That is what I do believe, that God knows our hearts even when we are struggling, he knows us and loves us and appreciates our efforts. I have to hang on to that belief, it’s all I have at times.

Behind stormy clouds is an awesome Father who loves us dearly. As we grow in knowledge faith and love for God we begin to see things from His divine view. Sunny days are good but without rain, we won't grow. If flowers could sing most likely they'd be singing in the rain. Trust that Father God knows best and showers in life are blessings from Him. Whether you're experiencing a sunny or a rainy day--or a combination of the two--be thankful & grateful that God is with you in both. Above all things may you be in good health as your soul prospers much 👣🌻🌦🎼🌈 #FaithAndIllness