New diagnosis and mix feelings
Yesterday I went to my new primary care provider for pain and getting established with her for care. Upon my arrival, she diagnosed me with ADHD based on my behavior (I guess I always thought I was like everyone else) and based on evaluation.
My mother was just recently diagnosed with ADHD as well so I suppose it should surprise me. I have also been asked by other of I was diagnosed with ADHD. To be honest I really thought that I just had extra energy from being cooped up because of Ehlers-danlos and chronic pain a month and a myriad of other issues.
After taking the assessment I realize I have ADHD and now I'm trying to process this new information and well, let me tell you, it's not easy. I have always thought that the things that were pointed out were part of my better side but now I just feel like I'm awkward and weird because I've had all the “weird” things pointed out to me. I am looking over all my interactions and wondering how “weird” I have been seen as all this time. I'd question everything I do and wonder if yet another person was going to avoid me because of my ADHD symptoms.
I believe in Jesus and I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Made in the image of God but still I wonder if my symptoms have been holding me back and keeping me isolated because people don't understand me and I don't know how to communicate what is going on inside my head. Have I scared all my friends away by talking too much, hyper-focusing, and such?
I'm, nonetheless, thankful that God has given me this chance and understanding to reach out to others with similar issues and be able to share the joy and comfort I have found and continue to pursue every day in Christ.