its hard to imagine peoples reactions, to me being gone and it being done by me. i am not sure whether they will be surprised or relieved. probably wished i was never conceived, i wish anyone could believe in me im falling like autumn leaves #SuicidalThoughts #Falling #MentalHealth #dying
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I thought I found someone I could share things with and confide in. But reality wasn't as it was wished to be. I live in a fantasy to fill a void, but as the light shines on it's darkness, it reveals how big the void is. And when reality sets into its place, I realize I can't keep holding onto someone that won't hold me back. I will just end up falling while they keep climbing. But, one day someone will catch me. Until then, I must keep grabbing those small rocks hoping I don't fall again. #Falling #Anxiety #Void #CatchMe
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I'm #fat . I'm also very unsteady; I have spatial equilibrium issues and my ankles roll inward when I walk/stand and are bad at maintaining my balance. I guess it's not surprising that, when attempting to bring boxes indoors, I tripped (wearing sandals, catching on the door frame) and flew headfirst into the entryway wall, my chest hitting more boxes, ending up on my butt. What may be a simple fall for some people isn't so simple for me. As much as that hurt, what hurt even worse was trying to stand back up by putting my weight on one of my knees. That knee is now having nerve spasms and is sensitive to the touch. It's red and hot and the skin feels electric, in the worst way. I may have septic bursitis, but I may not know until I get in to see a doctor, an impossibility this week, the week we will have to put down our dog.
The only thing that's helped this lingering, frequent pain was medical marijuana, but I can't keep popping gummies, wasting the day. (If it kills pain, it "kills" my brain. I haven't found a variety that helps numb the pain without numbing my brain and making things fuzzy.)
We said goodbye to our most beloved cat around two months ago. Mourning is now my modus operandi. I know little else. If it's not painful, how do I even know if I'm awake?
feeling the familiar fall, the descent, sliding down the side of the well, into the darkness. How do I stop the descent? I'm still in a stage where, once I'm actively involved in whatever it is that is giving me a sense of usefulness, a sense of purpose, I'm ok. But, it is so much easier to just go to sleep right now, to sleep for hours. My eyes feel heavy all the time, even when my feet are happily on the trails. I don't want to go back to the bottom, where is dreary and cold. Arm my hands strong enough to grasp a stone on the wall and hold?
My doctor has finally has enough of me falling and demanded I get and use a cane. So, I’m looking for one. My problem here is that I have arthritis that affects my hands more than anything else and severe psoriasis on my palms and fingers that cracks and bleeds when I put pressure on those areas during a flare up. See the photo. This is a level 3 day for my flare ups. On a 1-5 scale. It was a 6 this past Thursday. I consider it a 6 when something gets infected. It’s a 5, when typing on my phone or something equally minimally strenuous makes it bleed repeatedly. I’ve been at a level 5 for about three weeks now.
How can I find a cane with a handle that my hands can handle? #Arthritis #Cane #Psoriasis #PsoriaticArthritis #walkingaid #Disability #Falling #PlantarsFasciitis #HeelSpurs #MobilityAids #handpain
I fell twice yesterday..I'm ok but I have not fallen since November. I'm being tapered off prednisone in wondering if that's it..i went from 40mg for a lil over a month to 30mg for 7 days to 20 mg beginning July 2nd for 7days so today I took 30mg again calling my doc tomorrow..any thoughts
I am dealing with one of the biggest battles of my depression and anxiety I have had yet. I feel like im falling and drowning within my own head and i feel like im taking everyone around down with me. I feel like everything i do is wrong and that i am failing at even the simplest of things because i am stuck in my own head, my anger, guilt. I feel broken. I feel ive completely failed my wife and am failing in my marriage. I want to give up #Inadequate #Insecure #whatswrongwithme #Drowning #failing #Falling #help #Demons
falling is not too bad it’s the landing that hurts! having said that....at least you know how deep you’ve gone when you crash....
falling is not too bad it’s the landing that hurts! having said that....at least you know how deep you’ve gone when you crash....
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