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    #HEDS # deformed feet….hands d/t loss of connective tissue, #generalized Anxiety Syndrome #Percocet addiction #Poor outcome surgeries

    Is there a way to communicate when I can no use fingers to text?

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    For those who celebrate the holidays, we wish you a very merrry and healthy happy Christmas!

    Hope you have a wonderful holiday season! #ChronicDepression #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #generalized Chronic Pain #TheMighty #Neuropathy #DiabeticNeuropathy #Gastroparesis #Disabled #DistractMe #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigue #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis

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    Do Cry For Me

    John 11:35. The shortest verse in the Bible.
    Mary falls at Jesus' feet. "If you had been here, my brother wouldn't have died." Scripture says His spirit was moved and troubled by her sadness. He empathized with her and mourned with her His friend's death. Jesus knew what He was about to do and still felt the loss. Jesus had the power to breathe life back into Lazarus' long-dead corpse and still mourned with His friends and their friends.
    He wept.

    So, what does that matter now? Well, here are two main points that make our stories parallel the story of Lazarus:

    1) After the resurrection, Jesus tells the disciples that they were no longer servants but friends. In John 15:13 Jesus says to the disciples that dying for a friend is the greatest act of love. Didn't Jesus die for the sins of the world and not just the disciples? I think so.

    2) Jesus was human. He felt all of our emotions and feelings and empathized with us. One of the first things He says to the disciples after His resurrection was "Do you have some food?" He was afraid, begging God to rethink the plan to end His life.

    Often, sermons focus on Jesus' great power to "resurrect" our lives like Lazarus'. But what if in some situations we aren't Lazarus? What if in some situations we are Mary? What if Jesus sees your suffering as you lay at His feet and feels troubled in His spirit? He has the ability to fix the problem, and He will somehow, but He still loves us so, so much that our pain hurts Him. Sometimes He feels it before we realize our pain is hurting us.

    Jesus sees the hurts. Jesus feels the pain. And Jesus weeps.

    #Christianity #Jesus #struggle #generalized Chronic Pain #Healing


    The struggle of panic

    Any suggestions for coping with panic/anxiety attacks #Anxiety #generalized anxiety disorder #OCD

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    These Days

    #generalized Anxiety Disorder

    These days when I wake up okay, optimistic, appreciate the universe, the sun, the wind, the vegetation, hoping for a bright day ahead. A sound, slight, nothing-to-worry-about sound, sends me into a panic attack. I can't breathe, trembling, alone, sweating, uncontrollable thoughts, millions of them, crying, wailing, pools of tears on my bed, paralyzed, I can't move. I am now emotionally drained. no energy to go to class, wanna reach my phone and call for help, I can't. Even though something so minuscule started all this, I can't help it.

    These days don't always start like this. I don't always envision them this way. My nights aren't better either, to think night time is the only time we think we will rest from all these negative thoughts and emotions, nightmares each time I close my eyes, my legs and hands wake me up at 4 a.m. shaking uncontrollably, my whole family jus got shot in front of my eyes, my friends have died a million times in nightmares These days. We will rise.



    First post and it's a rant.

    I've never posted about myself. I usually just read and post replies to others. But this month has been terrible. I'm supposed to have a knee replacement so I had an MRI. Well it showed something weird on my femur and tibia. So I had to have a bone scan. It showed the same thing and they basically didn't know what it is. So then I had my knee aspirated and blood work done to test for infection. No infection. Now I have to go to a Orthopedic Oncologist for a blood marrow test and a bone biopsy. They are checking for cancer. Ugh.

    Then I had a Dr appointment for a 3 month long chronic cough without being sick. I had to have a pulmonary function test and a chest xray. Well somethings wrong with that too. Now I have to go to a Pulmonary Dr.

    In addition to that I'm gaining weight from my psych med Abilify. I look like a big moose.

    So all and all now I am depressed and anxious after I just got everything stabilized. Ugh. I'm falling apart. Lol.

    Sorry for the long rant for my first post! Thanks for reading.

    #Fibromyalgia #chronic pain # Bipolar #Migraines #generalized Anxiety Disorder
    #back pain #Arthritis #Bipolar Depression #Insomnia


    My wife: #PTSD #Bipolar #generalized anxiety disorder


    I am not sure I want to hear answers to this post especially if derogatory or negative but I need to get this off my chest. I have been carrying this around for a long time. 16 years.

    I was severely sick and manic, hallucinating and I got involved with someone else. I have never been on drugs or alcohol but this person was. (Don't worry, I never did any.) Anyway, I was abused by the person repeatedly for 3 months or so. I eventually gave in to my hallucinations and suicidal ideation and went in to the hospital. I was first diagnosed with unipolar depression. They put me on an antidepressant. This was awful. I then spiraled out of control once in the hospital. They finally released me. I had 5 people's phone numbers. I called all. No one answered until #5 . Now #5 was just as evil and abusive as the first person. Maybe worse. This person took me across state lines, me sort of willing due to being fragile and sick. I was hurt by this person physically and emotionally. Fast forward 16 years: i have been with my wife for 29 years despite these things. Last night when I finally fell asleep, I dreamed about her cheating on me and this dream spiraled me out if control. I have had this dream before. I acted hysterically today, crying, texting my wife. She assured me that I was paranoid. I just started thinking about what I did and what my mania did to her and me. I can't forgive myself for leaving her or enduring the emotional and physical pain I put my self through. Mania surfaces sometimes (bipolar 1...what do you expect?) even with medication and therapy. I have still done some things I am not proud of and that I feel is reliving my abuse. I have messaged the first abuser over and over when in that state of mania. I think I texted the person 42 times in one day over the course of 7 months. So I am sure it was a horrendous amount. The person is in jail. They have never been read as far as I know. I am ashamed of this. I am confused by my actions. I am terrified of my actions. My obelsessions had gotten so bad, I felt the compulsion to do this. My wife knows I felt obsessed but did not know I messaged this person and in the quanity that I did. I don't know how to proceed with any of this. My wife says, "this is in the past. Leave it there." But as we all know, this creeps up and flashbacks start, questions arise, confusion sets in, an apology feels required, and all of the sanity I have goes out the window. I constantly encourage thoughts of this other person more so than #5 . I feel attached to this other person. I can't escape this person. I am reminded and triggered by this person and despite of the abuse, I still feel like I need answers and ultimately love and the same attachment that I feel, I want from this person. Someone help me with your kind words, wisdom, experiences that could possibly be similar. My therapist is new. I keep firing old ones. This one knows nothing about my past and the extreme issues I face!


    Twitchy legs at night

    Has anyone who gets twitchy and jerky legs at night found any way to ge them to stop or at least twitch less? Driving me crazy! Thanks in advance. #chronic pain #generalized anxious disorder #social anxiety disorder #degenerative disc disease #cervical and lumbar stenosis #Osteoarthritis #Asthma


    Feeling Worthless #MajorDepressiveDisorder #generalized anxiety #PTSD #social phobia agoraphobia

    I was able to get another day off approved by my job Monday. I feel like this is the last chance I have to get another day off for a while. Why 😭 do I get the feeling that... this could cost me my job? I'm so scared right now.


    Do you suffer from #Anxiety ,#panic ,#generalized anxiety ?

    This link is one that’s very helpful in #Calming down or even for #Insomnia hope it helps ✌🏼