Deep breaths... So I know it's been quite a while since the last time I posted anything. Life has just been very busy.
Right now, I'm not on any meds for my #JuvenileIdiopathicArthritis / #RheumatoidArthritis . I switched to a new doctor, a pediatric rheumatologist, who is SO GOOD! I feel so blessed to have met her. However, I found out that I had been diagnosed and treated totally wrong up to then, which was obviously disheartening. I had been on hydroxychloroquine, which didn't do much. It basically just maintained my pace, but didn't improve my disease activity. Then my new doctor switched me onto meloxicam, which flared up my acid reflux, of course, but also did absolutely zilch for my arthritis. So now I am really, really considering aggressive treatment.
My doc is really pro methotrexate, and wants me to start with that, but I'm real iffy on it. It makes me nervous to think that I'll be on a chemo drug, even if the dosage is much less. Also, I am getting the feeling that there are way more side effects than from other drugs. The other options that my doctor put out there were Enbrel or Humira. I have two friends on Humira (one for Crohn's and the other for RA), but I don't really know anyone on Enbrel or methotrexate. I am honestly really jittery about the whole thing. Not so much because of the poking- I don't really care about that. It's more about how my immune system will be further suppressed and all the side effects that come with these treatments. I am just super anxious about that.
So now I have to get an MRI to see if I have arthritis in my jaw too (aka #TemporomandibularJointDisorders ). My doctor wants to see the full extent of the damage before putting me on any medications. So I have a few weeks before I have to make the final decision of what medication I'll have to take.
My #PTSD been acting up too. I saw my abuser on the street about a week ago and I've been freaking out since then. I haven't been able to sleep for nights and I'm shaking and irritable. Flashing back all the time, etc. You know, the works. PTSD can be such a bitch. Excuse my language, I am just frustrated.
I've been emotionally numb too. My thoughts have been fuzzy and I think I am retreating to #EatingDisorders behavior. Restricting food, skipping meals, counting calories. I'm fighting my urges, but it's tough. I am just such a mess.
Also, since it's Passover in my house now, I have been so constipated due to my #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS . It's not the worst, thank G-d, like I am going, just it's difficult again.
So that's me at the moment. A mess, unfortunately.
I hope all of you wonderful people are doing better than that. Sending love and hugs to you all! ❤️❤️
#GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Anxiety #Depression #LaryngopharyngealReflux #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Migraine #Trauma #trigger #Arthritis #RheumatoidArthritis #JuvenileIdiopathicArthritis #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #MentalHealth #Medication