lighttherapy

Yesterday I was recovered from the Horrible Cat Vomit Storm of October 2021 and did well with my new checklist, but without the enthusiasm of Day One. Today I woke up so sore everything hurt, which was exhausting. I still got about half of my checklist items finished. All I cared about was getting rid of the pain. It was a 6 for me—so distracting it was hard to think. Plus my brother stressed me out by dropping clues that he plans to go looking abroad for his fake online boyfriend who I already proved is a scammer. He doesn’t care.

So anyway, yeah. That really cranks up my depression/anxiety/fibromyalgia discomforts. And there’s even more stress that I just swallow daily, so my nest makes a lot of very compelling arguments for why that’s where I should be. I definitely self-medicate with apathy.

But my wanting to break the apathy habit is also for me and my well-being, demmit. I have made my nest the center of my life now for three years!! I have been healing from trauma, sure, but I need more than this for myself. I have more that I want to do, so I am struggling through whatever it takes to reclaim my life—for ME! I don’t want to lose the ability to choose someday.

I just have to keep trying as hard as it takes to make this Apathy Toolkit work better than helping me be productive only every other day. The Daily Checklist needs adjustments. Honestly, trying to shower every single day feels a bit out of reach for me right now. Heh. Just trying to keep it real for the good of the group. I figure that if I force myself to be honest for you then I’ll know I’m not just fooling myself.

I revived an old habit of writing notes to myself in sharpie on my bathroom mirror (It easily comes off with rubbing alcohol or other non-abrasive solvent cleaner.) The picture I posted of it had to be on an angle so you could see the words. First a big red heart that my face appears inside when I stand in front of the sink. Near the bottom it says, “Don’t let apathy own you.” At the top is this: “Have you… -Brushed your teeth -Brushed your hair -Washed your face …today?”

Tell me about your apathy.

#apathy #Depression #lowenergy #Productivity #Success #crash #Fibromyalgia #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #tired #Caffeine #lighttherapy #DepressionSymptoms #DepressionNaps #MajorDepression #SeasonalDepression #Lazy #notlazy #nope #Emptiness #FibroFog #LifeLessons #LifelimitingIllness #getthingsdone #toolkit #apathetic #BipolarDisorder

My need to escape #apathy is an ongoing struggle.  It is a side-effect of several medications I take for  #chronicdepression,  #anxiety, and  #fibromyalgia and it is a known symptom of all three of those health challenges as well.  I have several other apathy causes, like a previous brain trauma, thyroid issues, chronic stress, and living in a “toxic environment.”  Whew!  How can I escape apathy when I have so many things causing it?

One way is to help my body know when it should be wakeful.  I learned that bright
sunlight directly on the face, arms and hands for 5-10 minutes first thing in the morning has several health benefits.  It gives you a dose of vitamin D, it increases the release of serotonin (elevates mood,) it helps regulate your circadian rhythm (day vs. night cycle), promotes wakefulness, and other good things I can’t recall. Most importantly, it gives me an energy boost that I can use to help get past my apathy problem. Nice!

But I live in a rather dark first floor condo that faces the dark North and it’s overcast today anyway.  Bummer, I know.  And we are headed into the shorter days of Fall and Winter, so getting a daily boost with sunlight will get more difficult for the next six months. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to go back to bed and pull the blankets over my head and I don’t even have #seasonalaffectivedisorder.

What to do?  LIGHT THERAPY!  The image above is my actual therapy light that I use every day I can’t get natural sunlight first thing in the morning. It is small and cost less than $30. You can learn everything you need to know in order to pick a lamp that will actually help you (without being limited to purchasing the lamps reviewed,) here:
www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-light-therapy-lamp

Share your experience with Light Therapy. Let’s experiment with it together. #lighttherapy

OK, ok, ok… So yesterday I succumbed to old habits and let my apathy hold me back. That’s not unexpected. I have A LOT on my plate. If the new me can break free of the pillow-call of apathy for several days of movement and productivity and then I have to “crash” for a day… that is still so much better than hoping to get things done just one day of the week. I’ll take it!
There have been times in my life (when I was still young and immortal,) when I would berate myself for a pattern that was less than perfect. That’s a crazy standard for anyone to try to impose on themself. Now I am a wiser old bird and know to celebrate success in any form or duration.
After my two cups of coffee and a light therapy session, today I have a surprising amount of energy so I am going to get a bunch of cleaning done. See you when the dust settles. Here I go! 😉
#apathy #Depression #lowenergy #Productivity #Success #crash #Fibromyalgia #Depression #Anxiety #tired #Caffeine #lighttherapy

These are the ones I've decided on. I cancelled my previous order.

Does anyone find light therapy to be useful? My doctor suggested it and I finally got one. I find it pleasant to sit by, but curious how others feel it works. And if anyone finds it helps with things other than "just depression" as I also have #ADHD and #Anxiety

#BipolarDepression #lighttherapy

I would not survive right now without my sunrise similator lamp especially during the fall/winter months. I'm a sun child so when I wake up at 8am and its still dark outside it affects my whole day. This lamp helps on a subconscious level to feel like I get my own sunrise every morning. I even get chirping birds. (there's a setting for this instead of the radio. Rather listen to birds instead of bad news every morning) #lighttherapy #Selfcare #sundefectivedisorderSAD