MentalHealthCrisis

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x The Surgeon General Has Said That Thier Is Now A Mental Health Crisis Within Younger People x I Find This Inconclusive..#MentalHealthCrisis 🌹

x SO MY PERSONAL THOUGHT'S ON THIS , IT'S 🚫 JUST YOUNGER TEEN'S,KIDS,PRE-TWEEN'S. SUFFERING ALL OF US TOGETHER AS A WHOLE ARE GOING THROUGH MANY DIFFERENT MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE'S DAILY..WHAT MADE ME ANGRY IS THAT OK...SO THEY POST ABOUT IT..BUT THEN DON'T WANT TO WORK ON THE CRISIS OR ATLEAST START TO WORK ON IT. SO MANY OF US NEED BETTER RESOURCE'S & BETTER DOCTOR'S " PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT US " 🚫 A NEXT PAYCHECK $. THIS NEED'S TO BE DISCUSSED ALOT MORE NOW MORE THAN EVER. THE GOVERNMENT & DOCTOR'S..NEED TO CARE MORE ABOUT US CITIZEN'S AMERICAN'S WILL NOT LAST LONG...IF WE ALL CAN'T COME TOGETHER ON A SOLUTION TO THIS MAJOR CRISIS. IT'S IN CRITICAL NEED TO BE FIXED...IF DOCTOR'S,THE GOVERNMENT, HOSPITAL'S..REALLY CARE ABOUT US..THEN " LISTEN TO YOUR PATIENT'S AND AMERICAN CITIZEN'S..IN NEED OF HELP.. 🌹x SINCERELY YOUR RESIDENT POET x SKADI KVITRAVN 🌹

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Final admittance

Today, when reaching out for help, I finally put my thoughts onto paper- “I am going through a mental health crisis”.

These last few days have been hard. Too hard. I’m burnt out, my mind is a mess, I have too much going on and I’m not coping. My appetite has gone again, my mind is constantly running, and I can’t even force a smile anymore.

It’s coming up to the 4th anniversary of when I tried to take my own life, and when my chronic pain started. It’s going through my mind all the time. Along with my mind processing the news given to me months ago- that my depression is treatment-resistant.

I know I’ll live through this, but it’s just so hard. The odds seem to be drastically against me. I’m just thankful to have my friends there for me.

To add to my stress, my prescriptions didn’t get transferred over to my new GP surgery. And they don’t have any appointments available until about a week before I will run out of medication which leaves me very concerned and worried.

At the moment I’m not feeling well physically either. I had my second covid vaccination yesterday and my arm is very painful, my muscles ache, I had a headache and I just generally feel unwell. My back also decided to hurt a lot earlier.

#Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #Pain #SuicideAttempt #Suicide #MentalIllness #ill #Vaccine #burntout #MentalHealthCrisis

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Month since last post

It’s been a month since the last time I posted. Over the last few weeks I’ve started and stopped so many updates because I get a blank just trying to give it a title.

I’ve been coping. I think that’s the best way to describe things. Some days are harder than others. I’m just lucky to have my dog, who has made the loss of my cat less difficult and has been following me a bit.

I’ve had to make some conflicting decisions regarding my future. I’m still not sure if they’re the right ones. At times I get scared. Other times I get excited. I guess I’ll find out what happens.

I’ve struggled with my mental health. Last week, I had my first mental health crisis in a very long time. It was very difficult but I’m lucky to have my family here for me (when it comes to my mental health at least. We’ve had disagreements when it comes to the decisions I’ve made for my future).

My pain has also been worse than it has been in a long time, but thankfully seems to be getting better. I went through about a week of a bad flare-up of my back and leg pain, then proceeded to have a few weeks of neck pain.

The other day, the pain was too much. I rubbed in voltarol so much and it just didn’t work. I ended up using a neck support that I had bought when I went abroad a few years ago, because my pillows just felt so flat (I was trying to sleep) but gave up with that. Thankfully I’ve had little neck pain since then.

Though since life is life, I never catch a break. I managed a month off all my allergy stuff before I started getting the symptoms again last week, and I’ve ended today with a sore throat so I’ve started back on them again.

And then last month I was at the dentist and they noticed my jaw would click. I had TMD before but it went away after my surgery. And over the last month, it’s been increasing to where now it’s every time I open my mouth.

It’s started hurting my jaw today and I just broke down. Part of the reason why I had the surgery was so that it wouldn’t happen anymore, and I was just feeling defeated. But hey-ho!

#TemporomandibularJointDisorders #Depression #MentalHealth #Pain #ChronicPain #Flareup #Allergies #future #breakdown #neckpain #BackPain #MentalHealthCrisis #Life

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Into The Winds Of Change To Breathe Freely

My best friend always has asked me,”Have you done something good for yourself today?” Knowing my journey has been decades long, a lot of suffering, and a family that betrayed me, and violated my boundaries, and disrupted My recovery process. She knows how open and free I am with no judgements on anyone. Not even my family. I just want to heal. To communicate with my family, and they can heal, as well. I’m just moved into my best friends place. Feeling validated, and motivated by that feeling. So I’m starting my #Selfcare to create a new routine. I’m starting with Yoga for #EatingDisorders . I ate a healthy breakfast. I called my mother, since we’ve been growing together since my #MentalHealthCrisis this summer that landed me in the hospital in ICU for 12 days, and then to a Convalescent Hospital since I couldn’t stand up or walk. I was there 6 weeks, all during Covid. She’s been making a huge effort, and doesn’t talk to me with that negative tone she’s talked to me like, that just pierced my heart every time. Now, we talk. She knows to ask me, not to assume things. Don’t push her way on me, Recovery will be done my way. So it’s nice to have that. I just wanted to share this with you in asking,”Have you done something good for yourself today?” Well, I’m here to support anyone who needs a boost. I’ll always be open for positive thoughts that can pull me out of the #CPTSD #EatingDisorders #narcissisticabusesurvivor #PanicDisorder ...and find positive affirmations to help guide me through this whole process. I’ve got a place to stay, a best friend who rocks, and a sweet little kitty that loves to play! The Three Amigos! What are you going to do today to be good to yourself? Or are you?

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Losing the Love of Your Life to Suicide #SuicideLossSurvivor

Every morning since January 13th, 2019, I've woken up alone in my bed, curled around 3-4 pillows. I miss his arms around me. I miss waking up to his sleepy grin and forehead kisses before work.
My fiance and partner of 8 years too good own life, and even now, nearly 6 months later, I still wake up each morning searching for him in my half-asleep mind. He had battled bipolar depression, an extremely abusive childhood, and anxiety disorder from the time he was a little boy. He had confessed to me just a few weeks before that he had recently started having auditory hallucinations: low speaking voices, faint music, and an even scarier, singular voice that was encouraging self harm.

I did everything I could think of. I attempted to get him to the doctor. We'd make appointments, and then, the day of, he would beg me not to make him go in fear of being committed to an institution as his mother had been numerous times in her own life. He was terrified of mental health professionals, yet had been self medicating for years with benzos and Adderall he procured from people he worked with as well as his recent discovery of #Kratom . I watched in horror, frozen in my inability to get him the help he so desperately needed, as he spiraled out of control into manias then sunk into deeper and deeper into depression. He also smoked weed, which seemed to help him when he could find it, but when he couldn't, it was back to the kratom and other drugs.
This beautiful, intelligent man with so much to offer the world couldn't see his own self worth no matter how much I tried to show him over and over. He refused to believe he was anything but a burden no matter how many times I promised he was anything but.

When it became painfully apparent that his suicide was a real possibility, I called the non emergency number, begging them to please not send out officers to arrest him, that he needed to be taken to a hospital for mental health treatment and to get the help he needed. I was ignored. He ran. Two officers showed up and went over my head without cause or a signed statement from me or any kind of indication her was violent. They charged him with destruction of private property due to a broken plate he had accidently knocked off the table, and placed a warrant out for his arrest, but did not bother to inform either of us of it. There was no 10-13, no trip to the hospital, no mental health provided. Nearly a month later, in January, he was pulled over for a tail light and arrested for the warrant. They stripped him and put him naked and freezing into a padded cell in the jail for the night, refusing to even give him a paper gown. This was the State of Georgia and Hall County Police Department's answer to a #MentalHealthCrisis . After 24 hours, and much pleading with the judge, he was released the following night, now even more broken and #suicidal .
That was Friday night, by Sunday he was gone. This is what #Suicide is. This is what #SuicideLossSurvivors live with.

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