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Rock bottom #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Prescription drug addiction #MajorDepression #Alcoholism

Today I have finally admitted to myself how much damage I have caused to my mental, physical and financial well-being as I was trying to fill the empty void in my soul.

For the past 2 years I would find temporary happiness/solice in alcohol, Adderall, casual one night stands and other risky impulsive situations. I have been chasing that ever elusive inner peace and "happiness" that I was not blessed with. Even as a child I don't remember any truly happy moments as I quickly learned to hide my mental dispair from everyone in my life, essentially I was know as the happy go lucky child. That was horrifyingly far from the case, Ive worn my fake happy mask all my life and I'm so exhausted after all these years. The guilt, shame and pain I've endured and caused has finally caught up and I desperately wonder if there is any redemption for me.

I apologize for the rambling as I'm left a truly broken soul left with many severe addictions as I chased my next moment of temporary "happiness".

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Stand up

#SupportGroups #Prescription #Addiction #Life #Talking #Drugs . #Life
#political I believe that a lot of people who need help don't always get the right help they need. Like homeless people doing drugs or taking drugs because they aren't able to get the therapy or the. meanal health drugs are too expensive.
It's sad but true. Our priorities are not right at all. Our government in the 🇺🇸 is trying to get better but we are all sick in this world with something it could be really illness to drugs to prescription. To even cutting our self just to feel like a human.
And don't get me started on hospitals. there is enough mental health to go around. Like the mental health hospitals are always too full. Plus I know when someone ends up homeless and they didn't use drugs before they for sure will when they are on the streets cuz they are self medicating themselves. There life sucks balls who would want to be sober for that? No one in there right mind would. So maybe by self medicating it's a way to check out cuz if they didn't they could snap and end up killing themselves and or others.
Comment below tell me your struggles hand how you cope with life on a daily bases


Highs & Lows

Man. I hate mental illness. I hate having #BPD & anxiety & depression & PTSD. This past week I’ve been feeling alright, haven’t had many “low lows” of you know what I’m saying. But today I feel like I got hit by a truck. I have been super stressed this week because I couldn’t get a hold of my doctor to call in my #Prescription. I’ve been on Celexa for YEARS & because I moved I had to switch doctors. This was my first & last prescription from this doctor. I FINALLY got my pills today but I am still so anxious. I’m also getting my period, so my #PMS is out of this world. I just feel SO #empty and #sad it’s almost like something tragic has happened but nothing has. I’m just experiencing a bad low. I’m also trying to get the courage to break up with my boyfriend. I love him & I don’t want to do it, #Breakups SUCK & I am so codependent. Ugh anyone else just feeling super #Low & #depressed ?


#Fibromyalgia, has anyone tried Lyrica and had success?

My doc wants me to try Lyrica we are not making much progress with my pain. #Prescription


Did anybody else get Fibro after they got clean from a recreational drug or prescription drug or after quitting drinking or smoking? #Drinking #Marijuana smoking #Prescription #SOBER


Dear Doctor...

To the #Doctor who saw me for 15 minutes and threw a benzo #Prescription at me.

Anxiety and depression are natural responses to being #Undiagnosed . This does not mean my symptoms are caused by #Anxiety and #Depression .

Try harder.

#HealthCare #ChronicIllness