resentments

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#Believe #Hope #HoldOn #NeverGiveUp #determined #change

Gotta "Believe", as my little ceramic garden frog says!!! I've been where I only hoped for death. I'm near there still. But after 4 days of intense physical #Pain ,that finally affected me yesterday- #Emotionally & #mentally & #spiritually , I'm determined to have a #better #day #today !!!! Damn Straight!!!! Out with intrusive #negative thoughts,& memories. Out with holding onto #resentments I've held on to from those who've badly & painfully done &/or said malicious things to #hurt me. I've been #oppressed by these things too long !!!! I'm "shaking it off - I'm throwing it away. Well,let's be honest. Let's say, I'm not going to quit working on it. I suppose it's a process....but it starts with a decision & succeeds with #Determination & #tenacity !!!! ~·~·~· #PTSD #Memories #Trauma #multipletrauma #Drugged #raped ~·~·~·~......my story is too ugly to continue on this path.....im chucking it all atleast for today. I need a day off from this high degree of continual #Anxiety & #Depression & #Pain . it's affecting my #Sleep & the intensity of pain of my #Fibromyalgia ......im going to "find some #peace of #mind " (a line from a RHCP song. )........today I'm "on #Vacation " ,.......(from my #Problems )😁oh man, but DOES MY BODY #hurt !!! ......Need #rest & ssleep......this morning I have a virtual psychiatric appt .via ZOOM......a "Psych-Eval "- geeze!!! God give me #strength !!!!........ & another cup of #coffee !!!!☕ ☕ ☕ ☕ ☕

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Let it go #LearnToLetGo #resentments #EmotionalAbuse

Sometimes I wish I could just let things go. I hold onto resentments and bitterness and it eats away at me.
But only with certain people. (My mom and my husband the most.) just some of the things he does and says to me irritate me so much. To the point where I don’t even want to be around him half the time. I get so angry. It is justified most of the time. He is usually very disrespectful and I’m not sure why i even allow myself to be treated the way I do. Maybe because I don’t love myself fully yet but who knows. But I try to be forgiving kind and loving but when I continue to put myself in situations where I continue to be hurt disrespected and belittled it’s hard to have a forgiving heart. I don’t want to leave but I don’t want to continue to stay stuck either.
Help!