severeanxiety

My grandparents still not understanding my disability after five years bothers me way more than it should. They’re making day to day living so much harder and I’m so done. #Epilepsy #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #WheelchairUser #Disabled #severeanxiety #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ChronicDepression #ChronicMigraines #fml

So it’s one in the morning, I’m in too much pain to sleep, and now I’m overthinking. It just hit me that not only can I die at any time, but next week my friends and the people I grew up with will be graduating and I won’t be up there with them. Because I had to drop out, take a year off, fail. I know I made this choice last summer and I was upset about it, about the fact I wouldn’t get a prom or a diploma, but God, it just hit me. I’m barely functioning, my parents think I’m not trying enough and my friends are all being successful and travelling for college or moving out or getting better jobs and I can’t even remember to eat on time! I can’t work! I can’t take care of myself! And oh my god, am I failure?
#Epilepsy #Sudep #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #LivingWithPOTS #ChronicIllness #TheDisabledLife #Depression #severeanxiety #Insomnia #MentalHealth #disassociation #Schizophrenia

Hi all and thanks for accepting me onto this group. I’m here as I have searched the internet high and low for an answer which the doctors can’t find. Dad has been diagnosed with Depression and sever anxiety. The doctors are pumping his body with a concoction of pills and every doctor has his own versions of a solution. His drug doses have been up and down and nothing is having a positive effect. Am I the only person who feels as if the doctors just prescribe you with something new just to get you out of the hospital.

I’m looking for advice on a medication/alternative medicine that the doctors haven’t offered. Something that actually works.

Netflix released a program last year about the use of ‘Psilocybin’ which had a very possible effect. Is this purchasable. What’s everyone thoughts on it?

…I’m eager to start this conversation…. 🤞🏻😁 #psilocybin #Depression #severeanxiety

I’m just existing. All I can do is stare at the wall. Occasionally I’m able to read but more often than not it’s just a blank stare. Bored and in pain, and I don’t know what to do.

#Epilepsy #Depression #Schizophrenia #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #helpme #MentalHealth #severeanxiety #LivingWithPOTS

Y’all today I’m 18. Can’t believe I did it☺️
#Migraine #Epilepsy #severeanxiety #PTSD #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

Every time I begin to start typing out hashtags for diagnoses I stop. I have too many to keep up with yet I haven’t even talked about most of them. All I know is all of the letters confused me. I have cptafbendadhocdocdocd 😄

Today I’m in a #fibroflare after an intense week of breakdowns and breakthroughs. I’m in the process of healing my inner child and reparenting myself. All while trying to understand this new diagnosis of #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #CPTSD #severeanxiety and some strange neurological thing happening. Brain scan clear. And many more hashtags to come.

I had therapy and PT today. I also made myself go outside today and go for a solo Vespa ride. We just got one so I could learn how to drive one. When/If we ever go back to Italy or Thailand. I’ve been terrified my entire life. My husband who I’ve been with for 20 years, is helping me learn new things.

He doesn’t speak my medical language or emotional language either. So I literally have only a few people I can talk to. And even then, I don’t tell them everything because it’s SOOOOO much. I’m getting no where with therapist because I don’t feel like she’s on the same page as me. I mean I don’t know what page I’m in even.

I’m attempting to be a writer. I mean, I am a writer. I just keep everything to myself. Because of my #ADD OR #ADHD I have no idea which one. I can’t comprehend things at times. So because of inability to keep focus, I have multiple stories started. Then I fizzle out. Anyhoo, 41, I love music and dancing when I can. I try to steeech daily. But when I’m in the thick of a flare, I can’t even move. It’s all I can do to get myself into the shower or to lay on the floor because that helps more than anything.

Everything just feels heavy. Trying to figure out who I am and why I tick the way I do. It’s exhausting and I just don’t want to do this anymore. Not that I want to quit all together. I just feel that I need a break. But how can I tell my brain to just stop for a week. Let me go on a sabbatical or something. I don’t know why I’m ruminating on everything and can’t just be free of thought. The curse of a writer who can’t stop thinking long enough to write? Sounds about right.

Maybe I should start a group for writers who just need a place to vent their thoughts out so that we can release the block? Or maybe there already is one.

I know this is apart of the process. Learning what I’m grieving. Learning how to love myself and give myself some compassion. To be gentle. To be kind. But I’m throwing a HUGE BUT out there. But I don’t want to have to do that. I just would really love to wake up and not think about thinking. To not think about pain. To not think about healing and to be healed. I’m tired and exhausted of the pain and of the healing. I don’t even know what I’m saying r why I am. It’s just the automatic writing that happens. I’m not going to edit this so if there’s a ton of typos, so be it! I think most can figure it out. Thanks for reading

I’ve been diagnosed with bpd and GAD. My parents and my cat came to visit I and my sister. Currently, they’re staying with my sister (she is living alone, I’m not), I’m having anxiety attacks too much, I can’t study, I’m unable to do anything. I missed them so much, I feel guilt when I go to visit them, I feel they’re getting old and this is beyond my tolerance. I’m worried about my cat, I’ve done everything for him to be happy and comfy, but I’m having horrible nightmares, I’m checking him one million times every day. My brain needs to rest, I don’t know what to do.