Survivors

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    Pushing myself

    I live with chronic pain, and other chronic illnesses, including anxiety and PTSD. Many days, I can do one thing per day, and I feel thankful. I am a hero who many times is unable to move much, but my superpowers are full of love and kindness. #Survivors #advocates #hivlongtermsurvivors #wekeepgoing

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    Memories? or NIGHTMARES?

    I do believe very deeply in my heart that I was abused when I was a baby/kid, but how can I be sure of it? My traumas as an adult, my relationships with men, my I AM A GOOD BOY, my so many reactions in/to live. Therapy? yes, I have done it, and I keep exploring my journey. But I keep asking myself, am I making this up? I remember very vividly this person in my life, abusing me physically and mentally, and somehow I know I was just part of his own journey of mental health problems. But, did it happen? It can be very easy to say, forget about it, and live life by the moment that exists, but is not that easy. Part of me wants to find the answer, but then what? I am thankful for who I am, my amazing life, my I'm still here after 37 years with HIV, cancer survivor of 12 years, and living with chronic pain. I am single, and still looking for that partner in my life, I think I'm incredibly strong, powerful, special, smart, and simply open to getting to know someone. I remind myself each day to repeat BE HUMBLE, but also PROUD of who and what I am. #Survivors #HIV #hivlongtermsurvivors #MentalHealth #Hope #Sleep #dreams #PTSD

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    Is anybody experiencing horrible sleeping problems?

    Is anybody experiencing horrible sleeping problems? Sadly, out of the blue, around 15 days ago, even with sleeping medication I'm having some horrible times with sleeping. I can not find any changes in my routine affecting me this way. How do you deal with this problem? how many of you have sleeping issues? Have you ever tried Ambien or the generic Zolpidem and had strange side effects? I need to find answers because I feel exhausted. Is funny in some way I want to find my personal solution, and another side wants to find out more in general about how is this problem part of our health communities. #MentalHealth #Sleep #Insomnia #Anxiety #saludmental #Survivors #advocates #PTSD

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    CHRONIC PAIN Dancer

    Not a second passes by that I don't dance with pain, I go from the twist to that cha cha cha, from hip hop to the waltz. Pain makes me tremble, and inside I sing with high tones, but my body keeps dancing. Vibrate, from the core of my heart, the inside of my column, and the bottom of my feet. Hands up, hands down, the Michael Jackson moonwalk, backward, forward.....and my skin keeps dancing. The reality is that most of the time I'm not moving because my pain dancer partner keeps me tied up to my bed, but wow, my imagination, NEVER stops dancing. #chronic pain #chronic #ChronicIllness #Survivors #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Hope

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    L( HIV )IVING LOUD

    L( HIV )IVING LOUD

    Today is June 5th, HIV LONG TERM SURVIVORS awareness day, and I want to share this small documentary/video that my amazing young Italian journalism student from San Jose State University, Alessio Cavalca, did with a lot of love.

    Special THANKS to Bill Hirsh, and ALRP, for all they do for our community, so they are part of this video.

    Alessio and I connected a few months ago, and he shared with me the fact that one of his cousins died of AIDS in the 80s, and his family was very close to him when that happened. He wanted to bring a little bit of hope to the newly diagnosed and also to the HIV LONG TERM SURVIVORS.

    This is also for my part, a focus on how much we need more intergenerational communication.

    I'm incredibly thankful to Alessio, as I am to Bill and ALRP, but I want to also send love to all the HIV-LONG TERM SURVIVORS today, who many feel invisible and not acknowledged.

    We are part of the first generations growing older with HIV, and all we want is to grow older with dignity.

    I am myself a 37 years HIV LONG TERM SURVIVOR, living with chronic pain, but somehow, I think I am lucky to be LIVING LOUD.

    #hivlongtermsurvivors #Aging #Survivors #l(hiv)vingloud #Together #MentalHealth #HIV #AIDS #intergenerational #ALRP #Hope youtu.be/80c4VyaszOY

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    Lose me. I won’t beg to be chosen..

    Be yourself. 😊Realize it’s ok to have others lose you in life, it’s ok, if they don’t choose to have you in their lives. You are enough. #Selfworth #PTSD #Depression #Survivors #BeYourself #youareenough

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    #BreastCancerAwarenessMonth

    To those going through, have gone through it or know someone who has. I admire your strength. #BreastCancer #Survivors #strength

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    To whomever needs to hear this

    They care. They care about you. They understand. They have the right feelings and no this shouldn’t hurt or be difficult.

    As someone who still spends 7-8 hours per week in therapy I’ve heard this a lot! I’ve heard it from multiple sources and today I had a break through! All of this is true, maybe not right now, maybe not with the person you’re imaging it but it is.

    I am someone how enjoys taking care of others but, also enjoys being taken care of. For years I was telling myself that this was narcissism and it’s not. It’s human everyone likes being taken care of and made feel that it matters and it took me 7 years of intense therapy to accept and realize this, these are two concepts I’ve reacently learned are different. I’ve learned that I (the I in this is both you reading this and myself) deserve someone who’s going to love me, flaws, issues, good and bad things and everything in between.

    All I wanted to say is that it might not be the person you’re thinking of, imagining a life with or who you are sharing a life with but that person is out there! Always know you are deserving of everything wonderful and don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve it, easier said than done I know but do your best to believe it!

    #selfloveisnotselfish #Anxiety #Relationships #Survivors #AnorexiaNervosa #Depression

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    One sentence about you...

    Today on Instagram a poet I follow asked people to write a single sentence describing themselves in the comments. I am blatantly stealing the idea for The Mighty. I think it's a great way to express ourselves and get to know each other.

    I'll go first but I hope others will join me. 😊 #poets #everyoneiscreative #Survivors #expressyourself