Skin Cancer

I'm so fed up with ME fibro, migraines and now skin cancer on my forehead. Someone stop the world I want to get off. #

My Grandfather was born in New Brunswick Canada in 1924 of Irish/Scottish/English heritage. He will turn 100 years old in November.
My Grandfather is the sweetest man I have ever known. Selfless, giving, caring of others…a gentle and quiet spirit.
I saw him yesterday at his retirement home. He lived with us until the age of 97 and was in decent health…although he has had basal cell carcinoma on his head and nose from the year I was born (for 35 years.)
A bout of pancreatitis sent him to the hospital and his health (and mind) rapidly declined in 2022.
Now, he is bedridden and almost deaf…his skin cancer has become severe and he seems to have dementia although he has not been diagnosed.
I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, being 100 is not the pretty picture you see in the news. It’s ugly and sad…and if I think too long on it I get depressed because this fate has come to the most honourable of men. My Papa did not deserve this.

Let me tell you who he used to be:
A young man married with 2 children. The eldest a boy and a girl (who is my Mom.) He worked as a repairman at GM and stayed there 30 odd years retiring early due to his wife’s health. My Nana had Addison’s disease since her 30’s.
During all of this he diligently served his local Adventist Church as head elder for many years.
His hobbies included leather work/stained glass and gardening. Despite the fact that he suffered from digital tremor for much of his senior life.
He was the male influence in my life as my own father was largely absent. Even to this day in his confused state he tells my Mom that his “daughter” came to visit…while asking me who my Mom is. He has never once seen my face and not known me…

I love my Papa! If sanctification can be seen completed in the character of a human being it would be seen in him. The lovely character of Christ still shines even through all of his pain and all the deaths of loved ones including his own son…in his confusion he is as sweet and as polite as he’s always been. Never a vulgar or harsh word spoken.
He was and is my inspiration to continue in the faith…no we are never perfect in this life but we can try our hardest to live a good Christian one.

I wrote this because I don’t want the world to forget my Papa. Yes, he was/is your ordinary hard working man…but he was/is extraordinary to me.

#Depression #Anxiety
To make this post more fully understood, I feel I need to go back several years. In 2015 my best friend was diagnosed with a rare but treatable skin cancer. She was diagnosed in October and told me not to worry because it was very treatable. Long story short, she went through he'll. My mom & I visited her in the hospital. After her family left us alone, she told us that her family didn't know yet but they had found a spot on her lung. This was right before Christmas and by the last week in January, she was gone. Her birthday was a few weeks later so I went up to spend some time with her mom and take her a gift. My mom wasn't feeling well so I made the visit alone. Four days later, I took my mom to the hospital. Three days after that she passed away. I had a mental and physical breakdown after that. The Drs found conditions that I must have had for years. I was so busy taking care of other people in my life that I ignored my own health. Fast forward 5 years. I'm no longer able to work but was coming to grips with my new normal. Then my brother passed away 5 years and 10 days after my mother's death. So, also in Feb. Aside from my husband and my stepdaughter and her family, my family had all but abandoned me.
This year in October, I had a pap come back with ASCUS and positive for HPV 33/58. Those are high risk for causing cervical cancer. Not the highest but high. I went through colposcopy and then a few weeks ago a cold knife conization. My anxiety was through the roof constantly waiting. Meanwhile my cousin was going through treatment for the second time with cervical cancer. Here it is the holidays and I was trying to stay positive. I wanted Christmas to be special in case it was my last one or in case I would be going through treatment. My stepdaughter had my granddaughter text me to invite us up Christmas morning to "hang out". No food. No celebrating. Just sit there. Keep in mind, she is fully aware of my diagnoses and the procedures I had gone through and the upcoming biopsy for me. I figured they needed a day to just chill. I didn't care what day we celebrated Christmas so I offered to do it at our house. I was sent a text dripping with attitude letting me know that they would have to decline. No explanation. No offer to do it at a different time.
So, praise God, my biopsy came back negative. I don't know whether my stepdaughter knows or not. She hasn't asked so, I haven't told her. I am not healing well from the procedure itself yet. So, I am supposed to take it easy. I purchased some things to make everyday life easier in case I had to go through any treatments. They've been sitting in the boxes since the beginning of December. All they required was installing pull out drawers for our cabinets. So, measure and drive 12 screws. Keep in mind I am disabled and he does maintenance for a living. I've been having extra trouble with my feet lately. He let me know that it would be nice to have instructions. They came with instructions and a template. Now for some unknown reason he is giving me the cold shoulder and barely speaking. He's treating me as though there is no reason that I shouldn't be taking better care of the house.
I need to go to a clinic about 2 hours away for a procedure for some of my GI issues. For this one, I could drive but I get extremely anxious driving in that city. I know it's going to be a fight because he keeps asking if I "need" a driver. He reluctantly drives when I am put out for procedures locally. Now, I went to the Dr this week and there is a spot on my foot that may be melanoma.
I don't feel like I have anybody to count on anymore. I've always been there for everybody else. Why do people peel away when you need them most?
I'm sorry for the long post but as I said, I have nobody to lean on. I needed to get this out. Just needed to vent.
BTW...I installed the pull out drawers.
Thanks for reading.

Hi! I have 5 children and I’m 42. In 2006 my daughter had her stem cell (unrelated ) bone marrow transplant. She did very well long story short she is now 22 and has had skin cancer and was treated with removing the cancer. Now she was just diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Also something is going on with her liver, continuos elevated liver enzymes. We’re waiting on results from a ct at this time. February 12 she sees the doctor for a surgical consult and then will receive radiation
I’m worried since there still isn’t much research on how they are doing as adults
Also my youngest son has another inherent disease called hyperlipidemia. He sees a cardiologist annually to see when he will need medication for this. My daughter was diagnosed by geneticists. I requested a referral today to see a geneticist to see what I’m predisposed to. (I took my data from ancestry and uploaded it to genapp. And it’s loaded with all the genetics stuff. I have 9 dominant disease that I carry (not sure which will be the one that affects me)
I plan to show the geneticists. My whole family has all sorts of disorders mental and physical and quite a bit are hard to diagnosi. Especially with the auto immune area

Has anyone done this? Does anyone have an adult child after their transplant ? I would love to know how they are doing…any advice or tips?
Thank you

All of the pain
You've ever been through
Gives you a thousand
Scars, or two.

Though within you
Scars are plentiful
Others have been through
Things nearly identical.

When you think
You can't stop hurting,
Your wounded heart
Is freshly spurting,

You'll come to know that,
Though now there's pain,
The wound that's left
Is not in vain.

The memories
Only hurt if you let them,
And after time
You'll all but forget them.

Yes there will be scars
With pain that's suitable,
And that makes each scar
All the more beautiful.

#ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Cancer #BackPain
#ChildLoss #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #SkinCancer #RheumatoidArthritis

So over the past 4 months I have had three spots of skin cancer removed. All were non- melanoma and all were caught early. I am in my mid 40s so not super young, but certainly not very of either, granted age is simply a number and mindset. But I also suffer from OCD and this situation has pulled me so far into deep dispair that I am feeling like I am
struggling to find hope and contentment.

It doesn’t help that I am also a highly negative person and have generally looked at things in a darker manner than I would truly like to.

I am seeing a couple of counselors about all this but it still sometimes feels like 1 step forward 2 steps back.

I know I am not facing terminal issues currently but my mindset seems to have gone down that rabbit hole.

I could use some words of hope or wisdom for handling this and any suggestions for care are welcome too.

Ive not been on here in a while .Since march I have long term catheterised which has caused so many issues,non stop hospital stays which along the way now dealing with other problems.Mentally I am so drained I feel miserable that I'm not who I was 9 months ago,I can barely do anything.ive become basically house bound and most days the pain stops me even doing simple daily tasks.i feel like such a failure as a mum and as me in general .I hate seeing myself in the mirror now with cathter, more scars from the skin cancer biopsies,having to use walking aid due to the spinal issues & pain I just hate what I see and what i am now.But I'm so fed up feeling this way and I try so hard but each day between pain and everything going on my aims to try and feel better seem to just completely become non existent.....

I hope everyone is well ♥️
#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #BladderPain #BladderProblems #catheterlife #Endometriosis #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #biopsies #SkinCancer #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #AloneTogether #loveyourself #Selfcare #Melanoma #Bekind #loveyourself