Skin Cancer

So 12 weeks of having long term catheter, 11 weeks of having an infection which is now kidney infection, being in pain every single day and even walking is so sore and ends up making more issues with the Catheter either causing it to block,retain ,bleeding ,and just absolutely so painful!! Being told to just take morphene every 2 hours daily on top of 8 other medications, while being in pain everyday ,struggling even with walking all daily tasks ,its crazy to have to need this medication to just try and get through a day .I am so mentally & physically drained with it all my urgent app to discuss about catheter isn't until mid June so have to deal with this for like another 3/4 weeks 😭🙈

I feel like all I do is complain and I'm totally loosing all positivity and strength I had !!

#ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Endometriosis #Insomnia #SkinCancer #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting

A year ago I was away with friends and ended up going out into the water even though didn't exactly have the swimwear !!too and shorts done it , I loved being able to do things like this and that's really what I miss justnow being able to go away for days go big walks ,go running , just getting away and enjoying the peace and surroundings ! Hopefully once all the catheter issues are sorted I'll be able to do things like this again!

#ChronicPain #Anxiety #PTSD #Depression #Selfcare #ChronicDepression #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Insomnia #Upallnight #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid #loveyourself #Bekind #AloneTogether #Positivity

Well today I play the computer with little ones ,played some games,made cakes, watched a movie then I managed to move all my living room about which I've been wanting to do for ages.im suffering now for it pain wise as I still have this infection (11weeks now) and it did take alot our of me but I feel so much better getting all that done ,and spending time having fun with the little ones especially as I really struggle most days to do anything.
So the pain now was definitely worth it seeing their little faces instead of them popping and out to see me while im stuck in bed !

So here's hoping this week is a better week ♥️😊
Hope everyone had a lovely weekend and is OK 😊

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #ChronicPain #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #Insomnia #SkinCancer #GeneralParenting #Parenting #Upallnight #Catheter #InterstitialCystitis

Another week of this infection & its just not clearing up at all !! Really fed up being fed up & sore & sick !!

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend 😊

#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #ChronicPain #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #Insomnia #SkinCancer

Regardless of all those simple minded comments we hear .... oh but you don't look sick , aww get over it , you're still sick ?? You always cancel , what's wrong now ? , it's in your head ,it could be worse , think yourself lucky compared to others , another migraine ??

I'm sure we hear these and plenty more numerous times !! But just remember it's NOT in your head , Your feeling ARE valid , ITS OK to say no or cancel if you can't do it .ITS OK to put you first , ITS OK to not be OK.

You don't have to explain yourself &your struggles.If you are struggling &having a bad day remember that's OK too & you are not alone ❤️
YOU MATTER
YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID
ITS OK TO PUT YOU FIRST

#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #ChronicPain #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #Insomnia #SkinCancer #GeneralParenting #Parenting

Ive been a little quiet and really struggling. So after a really hard few days with still struggling with this bad UTI due to the catheter and all the changes & problems ,plus having to have the cystoscopy done then another one put in has definitely made it worse.theres been leaking,blocking ,bleeding,swelling ,and a hell of a lot of pain and tears.I went out the other day for first time to big shop in ages and I leaked I literally cried the whole way home !there's just non stop issues and I feel no one is doing anything to help the situation. I am so paranoid about leaving the house at all now as I'm doing everything properly changing tubes,bags,strapping it up etc but because of the problems in my bladder it causes leaks even when having the catheter in as it bypasses & I retain at times.today I managed to do some house stuff ,and some little self care things I do feel better but then I'm frustrated st myself and my body because of how much pain I'm in now from moving about today and doing stuff (basic stuff)It's really hard getting used to thw changes and my new normal & I am definitely still struggling but atleast today was better than yesterday 😊♥️
#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicDepression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #loveyourscars #AloneTogether #ChronicPain #SkinCancer #Endometriosis

So I really have been having such a rubbish week ,my pain is thw worst its been I'm frustrated that I can't do the things that usually help me mentally & physically like going for a run , exercise classes ,god i cant even tidy the house properly blaring my music at this point ,all the little things I take for granted !plus feeling like the doctor would rather twll me to take more or higher medication than actually help me get to what is actually going wrong !I'm really struggling and it's getting so overwhelming, tonight Harper (9yrs old) came in and said she'd made me a joy box in school with her teacher to use when I'm sad or feeling upset because she wants me to know I'm doing a good job !!( literally had tears but for good reasons) it's the little things that actually mean so much and even when I'm worrying I'm being a rubbish mummy sometimes as I'm not my usual self with all this the fact she just thought of that literally meant so much !!Definitely feeling a whole lot better tonight

#MentalHealth #ChronicPain #Anxiety #PTSD #Depression #Selfcare #Selflove #Insomnia #Upallnight #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #Parenting #GeneralParenting #Bekind

May is Mentalhealth awareness month what Is one thing or things you would like to do this month to take care of your Mental health & self-care for you .

It doesn't have to be big things , especially when we are having really hard days ,I've made a plan what I wanted to do this month and were 2 days in and so far I've not been able to get it started yet,but I will try my best !!

Everything we do is an achievement no matter how small .Somedays we manage to just get through the day & that is ENOUGH & is an achievement. So be proud of yourself whatever you can do ♥️

#MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #ChronicPain #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #Insomnia #SkinCancer #COVID19 #longcovid

It's got to the point now I have no idea who is staring back at me from the mirror !
I feel a complete shell of who I was.
I don't recognise this person who is so sad , in so much pain physically & mentally, who is constantly wiping tears from her face and who doesn't want anyone else to see or know her either !!
I am either completely drowning in emotions,thoughts & feelings to the point it's like waves are just keeping me from getting myself up. Or I am completely numb where I just can't feel anything no sadness ,no frustration, no anger ,no worry absolutely nothing as though I'm invisible and nothing can touch me physically or mentally & right now I don't even know what one is worst at this moment.
The only thing I do feel everyday wether I'm invisible or drowning is constant physical pain and its so hard to know what to do or how to cope when I can't even understand everything as it is.I feel so lost & like im just wandering but don't have any destination or know when ill get there!!
I wish I could tell that girl in the mirror that your strong and youl get through this but for the first time I just can't see how .....

Dealing with physical struggles are difficult enough for people , but when your then loosing your whole identity on top & mentally drained & not having the answers it just becomes too overwhelming.....

I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense as I can't even make sense of it all myself properly !it's just what's in my head right now 🙈😭

#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #ChronicPain #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #Insomnia #SkinCancer #COVID19 #longcovid

So once again I am back in here !!my catheter bag is just filling up with blood ,I've been in agony all week & turns out I have a really bad UTI infection obviously with the fact it's been changed numerous times due to having problems with it !im so upset for the kids having to go through me in here again ,feel such guilt that its effecting them so much .I basically am in tears at even just moving about the house due to the horrendous pain ! I am so frustrated that my body is just completely failing me,I'm literally an empty shell of the person I was.I can't do anything by or for myself.i have such a high pain tolerance but this week has literally broken me !!I am used to being in pain most days with all my other issue shut this is on a completely different level!they are heaving to check for sepsis & if it's in my kidneys due to the fact its been left so long as I've been holding off as much as I can hoping I didn't have to end up back in .😭😭I'm struggling to see any positives rightnow.

#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #SkinCancer #ChronicPain #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #Insomnia #Parenting #GeneralParenting