spooniestrong

No one would willingly choose to be chronically ill in debilitating pain isolated from society! #ChronicPain #chronicpainsufferer #Chronicpainwarrior #chronicpainawareness #InflammatoryArthritis #ArthritisSufferer #polyarthritis #ArthritisWarrior #ArthritisAwareness #Spoonie #spooniestrong

#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Spoonie #spooniestrong #zebrastrong #RareDisease #RareDiseaseMonth

I have often been told "I am too much". Too much sick, too much temprament, to much pain, too many feelings, too much me...
I have believed this for far too long...
But that's total bullshit!
I am just right the way I am! And I am not to much I'm enough! And if you don't like it, there is the door baby. 👋

#Selflove #youareenough #iamenough #MentalHealth #spooniestrong ❤️

The illustration is from @illustratedbydana 🙏❣️

Nothing like the elevator being broken at the doctor's office and almost passing out by being forced to climb the stairs...

Recently I've really been struggling with all of my chronic conditions and how much they affect me... I miss work half the time... When I make it to work I end up not doing my duties from needing to sit or lay down for long periods of time to avoid passing out... I can't do simple things around my house and a lot of times end up cancelling things because I can't drive or I have a narcolepsy episode... I have constant anxiety that's typically at the severe level and I become immobilized and just sit, frozen, filled with panic... my depression has been back and forth from moderate and severe... Sometimes I'm completely in capable of getting up and I need to rely on other people for everything and I lose all independence... I'm beyond grateful for my bf and his endless compassion, understanding, patience, and willingness to just pick me up off the floor (literally), do things for me, and take care of me without me even asking. Recently my psychiatrist and I decided to switch atypical antipsychotics, but then she decided she wants to see how I do off of one altogether and I became manic, but not severe enough for her to do a "knee-jerk reaction" and put me on something, and then severe depression set in and I've been incredibly overly emotional and am starting to be suicidal.

I hate this. I feel like a burden. My family literally doesn't believe me and have made terrible ableist comments and sometimes flat out refuse to help me and IGNORE me as (for example) I'm clinging to a wall in a desperate attempt to not fall over and pass out. As a perfectionist this is crushing me. I already have such high expectations and set the bar unrealistically high. I always have. And now I can't even sit or stand up or walk.......? Let alone feed my cats? Or Work? Or do other things that's expected of people by society? I can't even express the impact this is having on me. There is so much internal stigma I feel already... let alone the impact the reactions of others, especially my family, and even my bf are having... I'm normally so positive and have such a great outlook and sense of humor with everything I go through. But God damn has it gotten so fucking hard

#Spoonie #ChronicIllness #spooniestrong #MentalHealth #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #ChronicMigraines #narcolepsywithcataplexy #BipolarDisorder #CPTSD