Join the Conversation on
94 people
0 stories
7 posts
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in
See full photo

If I'm to much go finde less!

I have often been told "I am too much". Too much sick, too much temprament, to much pain, too many feelings, too much me...
I have believed this for far too long...
But that's total bullshit!
I am just right the way I am! And I am not to much I'm enough! And if you don't like it, there is the door baby. 👋

#Selflove #youareenough #iamenough #MentalHealth #spooniestrong ❤️

The illustration is from @illustratedbydana 🙏❣️

25 reactions 5 comments
See full photo

Things are too much

Nothing like the elevator being broken at the doctor's office and almost passing out by being forced to climb the stairs...

Recently I've really been struggling with all of my chronic conditions and how much they affect me... I miss work half the time... When I make it to work I end up not doing my duties from needing to sit or lay down for long periods of time to avoid passing out... I can't do simple things around my house and a lot of times end up cancelling things because I can't drive or I have a narcolepsy episode... I have constant anxiety that's typically at the severe level and I become immobilized and just sit, frozen, filled with panic... my depression has been back and forth from moderate and severe... Sometimes I'm completely in capable of getting up and I need to rely on other people for everything and I lose all independence... I'm beyond grateful for my bf and his endless compassion, understanding, patience, and willingness to just pick me up off the floor (literally), do things for me, and take care of me without me even asking. Recently my psychiatrist and I decided to switch atypical antipsychotics, but then she decided she wants to see how I do off of one altogether and I became manic, but not severe enough for her to do a "knee-jerk reaction" and put me on something, and then severe depression set in and I've been incredibly overly emotional and am starting to be suicidal.

I hate this. I feel like a burden. My family literally doesn't believe me and have made terrible ableist comments and sometimes flat out refuse to help me and IGNORE me as (for example) I'm clinging to a wall in a desperate attempt to not fall over and pass out. As a perfectionist this is crushing me. I already have such high expectations and set the bar unrealistically high. I always have. And now I can't even sit or stand up or walk.......? Let alone feed my cats? Or Work? Or do other things that's expected of people by society? I can't even express the impact this is having on me. There is so much internal stigma I feel already... let alone the impact the reactions of others, especially my family, and even my bf are having... I'm normally so positive and have such a great outlook and sense of humor with everything I go through. But God damn has it gotten so fucking hard

#Spoonie #ChronicIllness #spooniestrong #MentalHealth #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #ChronicMigraines #narcolepsywithcataplexy #BipolarDisorder #CPTSD


Extra Spoon

Another day which was not promised the sun rises as my chronically ill body awakes

Will it be a day I can push through or a day I disappoint myself accomplishing nothing
It's up to me so I chose to push through like the trooper my parents taught me to be

As the day goes on no hago otra cosa but dream about the moments when I once had a life other than this day by day life valiendo nada aveces es lo que pienso

Lord tells me wait a minute what's wrong with day by day? That's my motto "un dia la vez" you haven't seen it yet but I assure you there is a reason I slowed you down
When you see it then you'll surely have that ahhh ha moment... so my child take a deep breath here's an extra spoon for the day you can push through you already know your strong just remember there's nothing wrong with day by day living and if you forget just turn to me for that extra spoon
#spoonielife #extraspoon  #spooniestrong #UterineCancer  #RheumatoidArthritis  #Dysautonomia  #BehcetsDisease  #Lupus  #HidradenitisSuppurativa
#KlippelFeilSyndrome #Hypoglycemia  #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS  #Faith  #warrior #Poetry