I have always been told to keep a journal to let whatever damage my illness has made and I do not wish to spill on others...and Ive tried. I remember trying hard to keep my little word document every 2 months to the point I felt it was overwhelming so I erased it, from every file on my laptop..all traces of it.
That could be seen as mental decluttering, well I didn’t know...I just kept writing , it helped..and I Intend to do the same, I intend to write to cheer someone up, to relate to someone who may not have the space or the tools...just now... to express what never ending illness plus pain and the rest of attachments represent.
Well, Im here, Im hurting, I cant think of a good idea to be awake because this amount of pain requires a long nap. Well, of course, work...no comments.
I translate and I teach, and Im kind of lucky to work on fields that allow me to take small, tiny break...except from tutoring..that is relentless and Im seriously tempted to stop, I feel so bad that it is more and more difficult to pretend Im one of those happy, flawless teachers all parents want( All the strength used to put the mask, needs a serious, infinite refill) Im really sorry, for my beautiful students...Im mainly sorry for myself, I love teaching, it is my calling. But I need to set priorities, this ongoing nerve pain is going to literally and metaphorically kill me. HELP!
So, while still trying to organize and journal as properly as those Pinterest journals look, I will try to show and describe and redefine, how my journey looks like, for me, for my non disposable writing habit and mainly for any reader that feels related to this bizarre content. Thank you for being here.
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