TRD

I have TRD among other diagnoses. This has been the longest episode ever. I cannot escape this feeling. I just want a day to feel “normal “. I’m tired of hearing, “keep trying new things and eventually you’ll find the right thing.” Eventually. To have TRD I believe you have to have had two medication failures. I have had 33 plus failures in addition to thousands of dollars on ketamine, inpatient experiences, outpatient group for 4-6 weeks daily more than once, weekly therapy. What am I doing wrong? I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of being the downer if I go anywhere with friends - it’s exhausting to try and be in the moment, as much as I want to. Tired of being exhausted. Tired of being guilted for what would happen to family and friends if I were to give up. So I keep up the facade and if you know me and look in my eyes you see the pain. IF you look.

#TRD #Depression #ketamine #ketamine #TMS #Depression

I have TRD treatment-resistant depression for over 20 years. I used to always exercise out of it through many episodes of it.

this time I could not exercise anymore and have done ketamine, TMS. Ketamine had worked fine for the last 2 episodes and not worked in my current 8 month one.

also if I stay awake the whole night the second day I will be ok, significantly out of TRD.

so I know there is something wrong with my brain.

Just keen on finding the right ways to correct it but not on my own exercise program, which is very hard that requires strong determination and motivation. Also I do not find going out or exercising make me feel good anymore.

since I am not working hard on my own to get out of this TRD. I can’t help myself and nobody else can. Everyone shuns me at this port. I don’t feel that I have any relationships in this world.

I basically stuck and make no progress towards recovery. I am just tired of fighting.

#TRD #Depression #ketamine #ketamine #TMS #Depression

I have TRD treatment-resistant depression for over 20 years.

I used to always exercise out of it through many episodes of it.

this time I could not exercise anymore and have done ketamine, TMS. Ketamine worked fine for the last 2 episodes and not worked in my current 8 month one.

also if I stay awake the whole night the second day I will be ok, significantly out of TRD.

so I know there is something wrong with my brain. Just keen finding the right ways to correct it but not on my own exercise program, which is very hard that requires strong determination and motivation.

since I am not working hard in my own to get out of this TRD. I can’t help myself and nobody else can. Everyone shuns me at this port. I don’t feel that I have any relationships in this world.

So I'm on a low dose of Cymbalta and my depression is bad I've gone thrift 2 major spinal surgeries in a yr and a half. This last one is hard on me it was tethered cord release surgery. #Depression #TRD my bf and I all we do is fight he yells at me all the time. Is there a chat room in here would like to know. My thoughts are scattered because of my anxiety and depression so sorry if my post makes no sense atm.

MAOI & Low Tyramine Diet

I’m exhausted. I’m 60 and sick and tired of battling to stay alive to fight another day of this depression.

I’ve been on every anti-depressant, years of ECT in which I was one of the rare ones who had lost all of my memories, so many psychiatric hospital stays, suicide attempts and because nothing is left to try, now on an MAOI, parnate which is only given for treatment resistant depression.

My psychiatrist really wants me to try ketamine but it cost $5,380 here in British Columbia and only helps for a year.

My anxiety, agoraphobia and chronic pain which I’ve learned is neuroplastic are part of my life.

I use the apps Headspace for meditation, Curable for neuroplastic chronic pain and learning to retrain the brain there is nothing structurally wrong with my body, Eat Right Now for my binging and just yesterday was told about Most Days for helping to build routines with mental illness. My doctor, psychiatrist and dietician all wanted me to use these apps as they felt it would help. They are really good but do leave me feeling overwhelmed.

I’m also struggling with survivors guilt that I’m alive while my 5 yr old grandson was killed by a falling tree Aug 18, 2020. That day I was preparing to go into hospital as I was so suicidal. I promised myself I’d get better and healthy in his memory, but that hasn’t happened so now I carry guilt and shame that I couldn’t fight this depression even for my him.

Being on parnate, I have to eat a low tyramine diet which is so restrictive. Not knowing, my binging was out of control eating so much unhealthy food, the result being they were all high tyramine and broke down the enzymes of the parnate making it less effective.

No wonder I was still so depressed. Finally made sense as I’d been on the maximum dose of parnate for a couple weeks and was worsening.

I’m now with a dietician who is helping me eat “safe” foods. She’s really understanding of depression and my lack of energy so for now, my 3 meals are simple and quick to make.

There is so much conflicting information on the internet about low tyramine diets so it’s been very frustrating.

Is anyone here taking an MAOI and on a low tyramine diet? #Parnate #MAOI #lowtyraminediet Treatmentresistantdepression #TRD #ECT