achievements

I've slowly descended into a slump. It's like a record on repeat. I really don't know how to prevent the slump or make it less shitty at the time. This time I've been mostly numb, some self loathing and tears, not leaving the house, not eating properly... oh and what is hygiene? My achievements for yesterday were brushing my teeth, washing my face and brushing my hair. My achievement today was having a shower, washing my hair and getting into clean clothes........... there are times when I can't believe what my life has become. When the slump finally ends, I sometimes can't quite recall properly how I felt during it.......... here's hoping things get better.

I meditated today for the first time in forever! I’ve been meaning to since the start of the pandemic, and I finally began. My first attempt a long time ago was a disaster. I ended up crying on the floor overwhelmed with my dark thoughts. So this week, I thought I would properly research how tos. And I decided to just do the simplest one. Mindfulness breathing meditation. (I’m writing from memory so I’m not sure if this was the exact term) as I am a beginner, I set the timer for 5 minutes. Or so I thought... while in the process, I felt the urge to just open my eyes because I kept thinking about the time. But as time passed, I learnt to forget it, and trust the alarm. But it never seems to go off. But because it was my first time, I thought that time must go slower when your meditating. So I waited and waited for the timer to ring but it never came so I gave up and it turns out that I never started the timer, and I had just meditated for 10 mins on my first try! Yay 🙌

• I advocated for my health when I became unwell and managed to get seen quicker than I would have if I didn’t push

• I started a new job in my first role as a manager, at a new organisation just as lockdown started and have had feedback from senior managers and external partners that I’m producing great work

• totally finished Red Dead Redemption 2

• I learned how to manage anxiety levels while being socially isolated and pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone when I needed

• I successfully avoided the news and it’s alarmist nature

• I moved in with my partner
#COVID19 #MastCellActivationDisorder #achievements

I'm proud of myself for managing my first whole week at uni this semester despite my depression being so bad I really struggle to get up on days where I have no commitments. I've been in everyday had 6am starts ( not everyday thankfully an hour commute each way a couple of 2 hour lectures per day and 3 2/3 hour lab sessions this week. I'm exhausted mentally and physically. But I did it. #Depression #depressed #Student #Proudofmyself #achievements #MentalHealth #MentalIllness

I'm proud of myself today. There's been times when I could sit and literally do nothing for days on end when left to my own devices. I mean at my worst, I wouldn't even get up to get a drink because I knew I'd have to get up again later to go to the toilet (honestly that's how bad I got). Today I just wanted to veg and do nothing. But I've done 3 loads of washing, hung some clothes up, bleached my shower curtain, tidied up a little and just made a tuna pasta bake and put it in the oven instead of ordering in. I've taken it all very slowly and still lounged around with a blanket on the sofa between tasks, but when I go to bed tonight I will know that I have achieved something.

What do you all do to push yourself on days that you just want to curl up and check out? #Anxiety #Depression #tired #achievements