EUPD

I have had the diagnosis of EUPD or BPD diagnosis since my mid thirties. Obviously, it's not an ideal diagnosis to recieve, but it helped me to understand myself a lot better.

I didn't feel so alienated and separated from society because my diagnosis of depression didn't give me all the answers to how my head felt, that the diagnosis did. It also helped me to access services.

I am seeing a psychologist at the moment for therapy, who specialises in EUPD and I was asking her why I still had such difficulties with my symptoms, because I was under the impression that symptoms are supposed to improve with age. Well, her response to this was a very vehement "no"! This explains a lot, because I've never noticed much improvement in my condition, but it kinda sucks!
She said that in her experience, she has found no evidence of symptoms improving with age.

I've had a terrible week dealing with my mental health issues, and hearing that was not exactly what I needed to hear!
I'm also in recovery and 9 months clean and sober. My emotions are all over the place, my mental health is shocking, but I guess the alternative is far worse.

Sorry, I just needed to vent! Sometimes it all gets too overwhelming, and my head starts going around like a washing machine! I'd love to hear your thoughts xx

#EUPD
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

#EUPD #PTSD #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #Fibromyalgia #Hypotension #Low #Blackouts ful and Complicated life .... Left home 14 .... Don't have family, so I created my own .... In my head ... I had everything and out daughter .... BUT then ... I am only just learning still ... Seems you can have repressed memories that you had block ...... I was SO normal and a social butterfly .... Childhood trauma of all kinds .... Now confirmed why EUPD, PTSD, Fibromyalgia .. As well as anxiety and depression ... Annoying but the lates factors of low blood pressure and 3 reasons .... can't leave the house alone ... Black outs .... When all out ... it was the one time I needed my husband in all those years ...So lost my career, car as can't drive with meds, single mum, marriage, I didn't go for the money or the pensions ... Struggling he is married again.. Reflection I can see we were young ... He is happy now ... I pushed him into marriage .... I had a breakdown ... Failed suicide with pills. Kept trying .... People all think I am SO strong ... Luckily able to work from home as a focus ... (I didn't realise was a group or wouldn't have put work name lol) ....Otherwise, I will overthink, overanalyse and overactive imagination ... On social media have to be all positive ... They all think some mental health and Fibro .... Video calls etc .. Always the clown, bubbly, laughter .....But that isn't how it is .... I have pushed everyone away ..... Isolate ...Yet SO alone ... But independent ..Don't want to be a burden on anyone, have no family ... Feel for my daughter ... I am not the mum I was .... But more people now ... avoiding ..... Was getting social ...But not feel I am too much for anyone ... They can't deal with me ... So upsetting ... So sensitive ..Especially when use my issues against me ... All the 'self harms' just to feel something else, be someone else .... Under police safeguarding due to the trauma. I am a workaholic ... That isn't healthy either, my barriers will always be up ......have no family, people 'check' on me ... But I don't want that ... It is what it is ... I know they are just feeling duty of care ...Make sure I am still here ... I don't want that ... The only reason I am still here after last weekend ..... pathetic .... My loyal Tom cat Fudge ... Unconditional love ... Was licking my tears...I am trying to learn all coping strategies ...But if I am so confused ... How can I expect them to understand ..They are getting impatient ..... As the only ones in my life are .... The strong people ... That knew to push back ..... So they are strong people ...But also means .... They say it as it is ... And I am too sensitive ...I feel critism ... They feel they have to tread on egg shells ..... All I have ever wanted ... I guess that is everyone ... To love and be loved ... So as tried soo hard ....Now back to existing only and not living? For their own good ....I don't come across well, I can be massively misunderstood. Been single 7 years ... Not snow white ... Those people .... I ensured couldn't hurt me or abandon me or reject ..... Shallow and pathetic but blue tick individuals ... A lot younger ... For entertainment .... Just know when I go down again .... I don't think I have the fight in me anymore .... People say get up .....But there is only so many times and can't see hope ... I am too tired .....

Id like to make friends and speak to people who have the same struggles as me. #EUPD #PTSD #Anxiety

I had my therapy session today morning. I was told that I have made good progress in resolving issues with my parents, when i talk about them in therapy, I don't speak with hatred towards them. Took 6 years of therapy and now I'm finally past the hurt! Even though it's a small step and i know i have many hurdles ahead but I'm so happy i don't feel any resentment towards my parents anymore!!! Especially my mother, who, as I say, is an emotionally unavailable emotional person.
#EUPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Healing

Hey, everyone. I hope you’re all okay and keeping warm.

I was just wondering… Is a little bit of honey a few times a week okay? I really enjoy peanut butter and honey sandwiches or toast. It’s helpful when I feel like I really want something sweet to eat.

As a bit of a background, my last HBA1C in August(ish) was 62. I’m doing around 2-3hours of brisk walking a week and whenever I’ve had my blood sugar randomly tested, it’s always been between 4 and 8. I take slow release Metformin, Semaglutide and Dapagliflozin. I don’t have to test my blood sugar regularly anymore.

I don’t use much of it. Maybe a teaspoon’s worth in a peanut butter sandwich and a little dollop on my peanut butter on toast. And I don’t have it every day.

What do you think? Thank you all in advance. Stay safe! And stay warm!

#chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #Diabetes #DiabetesType2 #POTS #EDS #Dysautonomia #NAFLD #BPD #EUPD #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #diabetic #Advice

If you have EUPD, you may get into a borderline psychotic condition where you experience extreme doubt in yourself and others. You cycle rapidly between moods, and may move from despair to euphoria in a very short time. It’s common for you to feel extremely bad, and to feel a great deal of shame if you have these problems.#EUPD #MentalIllness

Hi there - genuinely in a difficult space needing to hear some others thoughts on this scenario - i have 5.0.0.5 years of therapy with current amazing psychologist T - i have had previous therapy before and never experienced what i will describe happening today. My history is child se-ual abuse, eating disorders, then into therapy where i was groomed and abused there too. mixed painful experiences.

This year I’ve had this strong feeling for needing comfort/hugs. i don't really have a place where that happens. Earlier in year i got sick from overdose & could have died. my T was with me, first time i asked for a hug, she said, “i would love to” and hugged me. 2 months later i asked for a hug and she hugged back but i left feeling like i had abused her. then she was off sick for 5 months.

since coming back to therapy, I've done my very best to be honest with T. told her about feelings of needing hugs & feeling like id abused her. She said i hadn’t abused her and she could have said no, (which she has done with people but not me) she also said its okay to want your needs met. but when i have felt like a hug since i don’t ask her - i told her i don’t ask her. i don't know why i am feeling so unsafe and needing that physical comfort. some part of me wishes she would ask if i need a hug at the times i need that but I’m pretty sure any therapist can't ask that- it needs to be client led. it's like i want to know that she cares enough to want to hug and i am not forcing but i can't seem to accept or understand what genuine care is. i get so confused and i am guessing this is stemming from my previous abusive experiences. This T has gone above and beyond for me in ways before - when hospitalised buying me self-care products, pyjamas, and writing a wee card. We have a very strong rapport 5.5years into therapy. thank you for your help #Therapy  #MentalHealth  #CPTSD  #PTSD  #Trauma  #attachment  #Abuse  #psychology  #BPD  #EUPD