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Fighting the downward spiral extra hard today. #Depression #Anxiety

I’m having the hardest time today tying to not slip into the downward spiral of despair, shame, self pity, ... It’s beautiful outside. Gorgeous. Hasn’t been like this since what feels like never. But I’m extra depressed today. I started depressed. Then I canceled the two plans I had for the day; because of that I’ve disappointed multiple people. This fact makes me even more depressed. I’m feeling sorry for myself, and feeling like a bad person for feeling sorry for myself. I want to sit outside on the deck and absorb the beautiful day … but the idea of relaxing and enjoying makes me feel guilty. I feel selfish for stealing the luxury of time while my terribly hardworking boyfriend busts his ass to hit a deadline—I was supposed to help. He was counting on me. I can’t even count on myself. … The other thing I had planned was to actually go out and have fun with great funny friends from out of town. I don’t remember the last time I’ve had real social fun. I’m missing this year’s version of PrideFest in my city. A festival. A celebration. An act of support and love. But had to cancel. #Depression #Shame #Selfpity #feelingworthless #Uncomfortable #Anxiety #badfriend #fomo #Broken


Feeling uncontrollable rage (continued)

So yeah. Tired of going to a church where there’s so much money. In fact, I’m tired of living in a town with so much money floating around everywhere. The people here are some the rudest, short tempered, entitled, jerk-wads that ever walked the planet. It might as well be called Karen! 😁 but on a more serious note. I guess I’ve got rock bottom and kept drilling for oil to get rich because this is the lowest I have ever been with no hope of any help in sight! Does anybody else feel this way? Just curious because this is the #?!]% - fill in the blank. Now I’m too tired to keep typing. #Rage #Depression #CymbaltaWithdrawal #feelinghopeless #Fibromyaliga #Disability #feelingworthless #wheresthechurch #suffering #everythingsgoingwrong #CheckInWithMe


Can’t Find Happiness Anymore

#Depression #Aging #Anxiety #Loneliness #alone #sad #feelingworthless

I’m feeling very sad and alone. Am on meds for depression/anxiety for many years. I feel hopeless. I have no family left. Can’t afford therapy. My faith is Christian and I pray to “go home.” I’m NOT suicidal. Just very sad. If I start to cry I won’t stop. This depression scares me. Need understanding friends. Thank you so much... Kathy


Domino effect

Does anyone else ever have the domino effect when something bad happens? Like when something bad happens it triggers other things from the past but it’s completely unrelated?... idk if that make sense. But this happens to me a lot and then both things run through my head non stop and it just dominos. Also does anyone else with BPD feel like they always have to please people or are always worried about making people mad? And always over thinking to void doing so? Just curious if that’s a common BPD thing or if it’s just me. #justwhenithinkimdoingbetter #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#feelingworthless #selfloathing #alwaysthinking #Everydaystruggle #wantingtobeenough #fightingoffthedownwardspiral #alwayslosing #sad


Attack of the Negative Thoughts

Whenever something happens, say if I don’t do something that should have been done, I berated myself about it. It never really stops either. I shutdown physically and emotionally during these times and I continue to feel worthless. No one can tell me how much they hate me as much as I hate myself. I feel unlovable. I also think that ultimately, I will be left behind by everyone I know. I blame myself for everything that happens. I’m the stupid girl, I’m the dumb chick. While everyone is doing well in life, I’m floundering yet again. I’ll never be anything, I’m no good to anyone. If I crumbled into a million pieces and disappeared, I would be totally fine with that. I’m sure everyone, even the whole world, would be fine if I wasn’t here. #MentalHealth #Depression #NegativeThoughts #feelingworthless


Feeling a bit worthless

It's with a tight chest that I write this. My dogs are like my kids to me, so when something happens to them it feels like the end of the world to me. My youngest was taken to the vet this weekend after we noticed she couldn't open her one eye. The vet couldn't tell us what exactly is wrong but suspects it's the early stages of a neurological problem. She must have had a seizure. I've previously lost my best (dog) friend to a similar syndrome. It breaks my heart to see her so weak and not herself. They are always there on my best and worst days making me feel better when humans can't, and without any judgment.

I realized today I was triggered by something so ordinary to some people, which has been festering in my mind all day. I tried to give someone (soon to be family member) advice regarding my personal experience with anxiety and how I've tried to cope with it, and this person brushed it off sarcastically like I had no idea what I was talking about. This made me feel so worthless and uncertain whether I should keep this person at a distance since she is clearly not good for my mental wellbeing. This hasn't been the first time she's had this effect on me, but maybe it should be the last.

#Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #coping #CopingTips #Feeling #feelingworthless #FeelingEmpty


I've been battling a lot of negative thoughts for the last few days. I try hard to move the focus to other things, but it always goes back to the negative. I succumbed to self injury for the first time in a couple of months. These thoughts do pass, but they are intense in the heat of the moment. In these moments, I feel worthless... and I have this strong feeling that other people think I'm worthless too. #Depression #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #NegativeThoughts #negativityisconsumingme #feelingworthless #Selfharm


Life Insurance #feelingworthless

Tried to get life insurance. 4 companies knocked me back for health reasons.
TIL I may also be too fat for some of them. (I'm about stone overweight. My BMI is 31.8).
Feel like I take up too much space. Really hard not to just hate my body tonight.


how do you handle RAGE???

having a tough day. woke up this morning in Serious rage for the women my boyfriend cheated on me with. she knew about our relationship she was a friend but still did it anyways, I’m trying not to listen to the thoughts by sleeping or going to yoga but is really hard. I know I should be getting over it but It’s tough enough to fight myself to get out of bed. this add a extra load to my already tough days. it’s hard to fight myself to stay positive and try to understand why. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. just trying to keep it together #Cheated #feelingworthless #Broken. #PTSD #alone