Hyperthyroidism

I'm here because I have small breakdowns that really affect me and as my body deteriorates, they get worse. I'm a bit nervous for myself as my thoughts seem to always go to "I don't want to be here anymore." Interestingly enough, this website was suggested to me by an AI chat thing on Facebook. I have a rare disorder called Nail patella Syndrome. It affects my arms, knees, eyes, kidneys. I also have rheumatoid arthritis which is really bad at the moment and between the two, along with uncontrolled hyperthyroidism, that makes it hard to breath, I feel like I just want to be done.This most recent breakdown was due to being out of breath and putting away my groceries that caused a lot of pain and my thinking that I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. I am not strong anymore, mentally or physically. I feel like I'm losing it. I hate when people say "oh, stop having a pity party," because if they only knew how we are feeling physically and mentally, they could never imagine it. We are aloud to feel like crap sometimes and voice it. Anyway, I'm sorry, I just feel like some support could help me. Thanks for listening.

Pain Girl by Melanie R.

The chronically ill that experience continuous pain in multiple areas everyday, myself included, dread the doctor office doodle I have dubbed “Pain Girl!” She’s infamously found in every pain clinic/doctor office and is said to have the ability to accurately depict the agony the chronic illness sufferer experiences with pencil smudges and a 1-10 score! Of course pain can only go to 10… said no rare chronic illness sufferer ever!
We are usually asked to circle the painful areas on a blurry drawing; labeling S for stabbing, B for burning, etc.
Such little information could be drawn for what I was experiencing with rare chronic illness. I usually had a Picasso painting to present most times! (Some say scribbles of frustration,…I say Picasso!) I don’t think I could even see Pain Girl under my swirling circles and slashes of pain. Making your doctor and yourself laugh while struggling in pain is always a plus.

So in the honor of Christ, the healing of the Body that Christ brings, and infamous pain girl, make a Picasso of your pain and healing.
Draw, paint, doodle, or get crafty making a picture of your pain girl/boy. Color the areas where you experience pain, swelling, stiffness, etc., then draw a cross, put a sticker, a heart, (whatever you want) as your symbol that:

-God is aware
-Hears your cries for relief
-you will be fully restored and healed.
-It won’t be long, etc.
Think of your own too.
Make it fun.
Please share/Post

Today could be the last day of suffering. Today could be the day of His return. Living in the body of Christ it proves that even though we are sick in body, we can heal, and be healed already. Suffer well! Healing will come!

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

3 John 1:2

I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord.

Jeremiah 30:17

#MitochondrialDisease #ChronicIllness #BackPain #ChronicInflammatoryDemyelinatingPolyneuropathy #ChronicPain #Jesus #suffering #InsideTheMighty #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #RareDisease #Hyperthyroidism #RheumatoidArthritis

Update from my last post. The black cat in the picture is my hospice foster Lady Greensleeve AKA Green Bean as I call her. The yellow cat is my foster fail Hatch. Yesterday I posted about how stressed and overwhelmed I was with Green Bean. Today, I had a seizure at church and I'm fine but was exhausted so I laid down for a nap. I woke up to her and a total of 5 out of my 6 cats in bed with me. These two were the only ones left when I was able to get a picture. First time she's actually slept with me. I am still tired but glad she is doing better than yesterday and I am going to eat then the cats and I are going to get more sleep.

I often think about the things doctors say to us, and how different their response would be if they could see our ailments. The caption to this self portrait of Van Gogh, is something a doctor said to me when I was so unwell from medication induced hyperthyroidism that it caused me to develop a near fatal cardiac condition. I was so nauseous, losing weight and struggling to keep any food down, that I begged him to help me even after he gave me this dressing down.

I can’t help but wonder what the doctor would have said if I’d walked into my appointment, with clear indicators of being physically unwell. And I don’t mean things like needing a walking stick or a wheelchair, because those were later used against me as “evidence” to prove that I was using my symptoms to get attention.

Van Gogh cutting parts of his ear off… might raise some mental illness questions to this day. But I think it’s unlikely that any doctor would ignore the state of his ear, tell he’d brought it upon himself, and that he needed to go away and “live with the consequences” of his decision in quite the same way.

#ChronicIllness #Hyperthyroidism #HashimotosThyroiditis #MyCondition #ChronicFatigue #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Arrhythmia #Dysautonomia #PeripheralNeuropathy #Migraine #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome

True story… when I was fresh home from hospital, unwashed, unable to stand due to being chronically thyrotoxic, wearing PJs and a cancer cap to cover my hair loss, a visitor uttered these words to me like they think it’s some sort of compliment 🤦‍♀️

#MakeMeLaugh #DistractMe #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyalgia #HashimotosThyroiditis #Hyperthyroidism #GravesDisease

This was one of my favourite old walking spots to go before I went through my hyperthyroidism thyrotoxicity ordeal, that for a while I was uncertain if I’d ever see these things again. For several months, the entirety of my everyday view consisted of tracking the sunlight as it cast patterns across my bedroom walls. Those little rays helped to keep me tethered to the outside world and in my mind, I'd take mental walks to these peaceful places I’ve come to love and enjoy.

Finally, I managed one of these walks again for the first time in almost a year. I did give myself Post Exertional Malaise (PEM), but it felt worth it—knowing I could walk a distance that felt impossible even six months ago. I had moments of crying my heart out, especially with a healthcare system that failed to diagnose me correctly. But in walking this personal Everest, I was awed at how easily things could feel magical again.

As I reclaim small parts of me that I thought were lost, I encourage anyone reading this to take what you need to fuel your inner world so that your smile may shine on. The system might fail us, our bodies might betray us, but if all you can do is track the sunlight as it slides across your bedroom and over the shackles of invisible illness… hold up, hold on, and it’s okay if you feel scared 🌿

#ChronicFatigue #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Fibromyalgia #MyCondition #Hyperthyroidism #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Spoonie