Everyday presents an opportunity to “innerstand” my fears, desires, dreams, triggers, and my self . . . and I choose daily to meet these moments with gratitude and a deep thirst for understanding and clarity so that I can continue to move forward with my life. As I am now re affirming and restablisheing my safety, my health, my confidence, my courage, and my resilience after going “no contact” after close to four years of narcissistic abuse, I gain so much insight with each night that I can sleep peacefully and dream. I gave up so much of what makes me happy to be with someone who only wanted to see me miserable and now I can truly enjoy the simplicity of the sunlight peaking in through my blinds in the morning after I wake up and tell myself “I am safe now.” With that so much has already begun to unfold in a short amount of time and I am seeing how truly magical this universe is.
Til Next Time
Sending You All Of My Love and Light
Is there anything you would like to see written about mental health?
Is there anything maybe you would like to see more information on?
Or anything else really?
#MentalHealth #Journaling #diary #Blog #suggestions
It’s been a few days since saying something of semi-importance and I’ve been feeling good. Love and getting close to people is kind of difficult for me but I’m glad I said something. Even if nothing comes of it, I’ve gotten better. I’m happier. I’m finishing the semester, my work has gotten a ton of compliments after one of the most grueling several months and I’m excited for the future. I’m doing more than alright and I wanted to note it. #diary
Exhausted from the day. That’s what I’ll say it is. The truth is I don’t know what makes me feel so tired, pushing forward. I’ll keep going, I know.
But, I see so many people and it’s hard to reach out. I want help but the timing seems wrong. I know that feeling, that the world might end, is a lie.
Don’t know why but I’ll probably say, “I’m just tired,” and keep moving forward. #diary
I realize I haven’t been eating. Not because I’m trying to hurt myself or anything, but in all honesty, I’m forgetting to. On top of that, I’ve been treating it as something analytical. I’ll be heading into work and ask myself, “Should I get breakfast before heading in?” and immediately think, “Nah, I’ll eat at 7 tonight. I can save myself a couple bucks.” My challenge this week is to eat three meals this week instead of just two to nothing. I need to fix it and this is how I’m holding myself semi-accountable.
So today has been an odd one I woke up with positivity for about 10 minutes then I just started to sink into the darkness.
The longer I just sat on the sofa doing nothing but thinking the deeper I went into the darkness but I had nothing to pull me out. So I just sank more and more.
Sucidalideation kicked it and I was thinking whether everyone would be okay without me. I know my partner would die and my child doesn't deserve to have to think about why didn't my mum care enough about me to stay.
That's what kept me here today.
And that's what keeps me here everyday.
Sometimes I despise the fact I have reasons to stay, but then I am fully thankful of them every single day.
Sometimes I feel it would be a lot easier and more peaceful but that's thinking selfish and not thinking of the destruction that would carry on after.
So that was just my morning.
The rest of the day meh.. Spent it at work
#Depression #diary #MightyMinute #SuicidePrevention #Suicide #PersonalityDisorders #Family
I don’t know if this will help anyone with an autoimmune stomach disorder but this is the form I use to track my issues and try to see trends. I just write what happened when. So like if I had extreme pain at 6am under my rib cage I’ll write (6a/extreme/under ribs) in the pain section. Sometimes tracking can help me get through it too.
Here it is! Feel free to copy and paste for your own diary!
What happened overnight?
What are the trends?
What did you do yesterday or the last few days that contributed to today?
How are you feeling emotionally?
(Time/what/what happened after?)
(Time/what happened after)
(Time/name of med)
Burning (feeling overheated)
(From what time to what time)
(Use this to figure out if things are trending up)
Extremely Tired but mostly ok:
(From what time to what time)
(How many times today)
All awful symptoms (sick ASF):
This category is for when you feel like bloody hell and are ready to call the hospital or already have called. The goal is to never have to write here again lol.
Urge no output:
This is for when you have to poop/pee and can’t
Or for yay!!! When you think you’ll puke but don’t
What made it better:
What made it worse: