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it feels like this is my life now #RapeSurvivors #Advice #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAmerica #Rage #Awareness #physicalabuse #Homeless
My name is Jillian, I’m 19 and was diagnosed with autism around the age of 6, I have always struggled to read body language and ended up in an unsafe situation. My dad has always refused to accept my diagnosis and left our family, my mom has always shrugged my problems off and responded to me with things like “that has happened to me too” I have always asked for support but they have always dismissed me unless they can gain from my distress. My cries for help have never been heard. During covid we bought an rv and traveled, we ended up in GA on a campground where we work and live.
Recently, my boss got close to me and my family. He raped me multiple times, he often hits me and leaves buries on me. I told my mom that it was happening and she told me she was raped too, I felt so stuck and lost, and when she sees the buries she said it was a hickey and I was being dramatic. It’s been going on for 3 months the first time it happened was july 3rd my Mom has control of my money, it all goes to her and she gives me it when she thinks I need it. I have looked into shelters. I’m scared to go because my Mom has sent me to them all my life and I have been abused and taken advantage of at every turn, even in places where iwnas meant to be safe. Every time I feel safe the wool gets thrown over my eyes. It keeps happening since Ii have no support and me and my family would have nowhere to go. He has friends in law enforcement including the local sheriff, I don't own a car and no one is willing to bring me to the hospital or police station to help, and im scared getting help may mean losing my family. My Family is the only thing thats been consistent in my life and the only financial support I have is them or my boss, who is also the owners best friend so we may lose our home and place to live.
I have been thinking of getting an in home carer to help me learn the skills that can better help me protect myself, live on my own, enforce boundeies with people and feel safe. I have called multiple crisis lines and all have been unhelpful, only passing me onto another number to call who really haven’t been able to help. I have two dogs who are all that keep me feeling safe, so I’m absolutely terrified of going to a shelter and leaving them behind, they’re my only friends, I’ve got my boyfriend as support, but he lives in another country and can only do so much to help. I’m so desperate for help and trying so hard, but scared I’ll find trauma behind every door.
