Here’s mine;
An American man was on holiday in Ireland and decided to book a round of golf 🏌🏽♂️
So he goes to the closest golf club and says "I'd like to play some golf, but have nobody to play with. Would anyone here like to play?" A man walks up and says "I'll play with you. I'll meet you here at 9am tomorrow, but I could be half an hour late."
So the American turns up the next morning and sure enough the Irishman is there at 9 am, with a set of left handed clubs. They play a round and the Irishman wins quite convincingly. So the American says "that was great playing. Would you like to play again tomorrow?" The Irishman replies "certainly. I'll meet you here at 9 am, but I could be half an hour late."
So they both turn up the next day at 9 am, only this time the Irishman has a right handed set of clubs. They play a round and again the Irishman wins quite convincingly. The American shocked says "wow you play well. But I want to try one more time at beating you. Do you want to play again tomorrow?" The Irishman says "sure. I'll meet you here at 9 am, but I could be half an hour late" With this the American says "now hang on a minute, yesterday you beat me playing left handed. Today you beat me right handed. How do you decide what hand to play with?" The Irishman replies "well when I wake up, if my wife is laying on her left side I play left handed, if she's laying on her right side I play right handed" To which the American says "what if she's laying on her back?"
"Then I'll be half an hour late!"