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Trapped
Hey there! I've been struggling with social anxiety for a while already. During the pandemic I met a group of people and they felt good. I thought I had found my people, you know? It was hard at the beginning, always feeling awkward and odd. But eventually I started to feel more comfortable and even "at home". It of course took me longer than it did to others, but I was finally getting there and it felt like a huuuge success on my side in spite of being an anxious introverted.
Recently,though, I noticed for some of the conversations they have when we meet that some of them, whom I actually considered to be closer with, have been meeting to chat and whatever and not including me. And God it hurt. It felt like all the struggle I went through to try and warm up to them was absolutely pointless. I know they didn't do it with a bad intention, they're actually real nice people.
But not getting invited at the end of the day feels like you're invisible, irrelevant. Like you're okay and nice and all but just enough for you to be considered for other plans
I know the best way to deal with this is by talking it out with at least one of these people, but I'm terrible at being vulnerable and opening up about the things that hurt. It gives me major anxiety just to think about it. And I also feel that if I talk it out and they start including me, are they really doing it because they like me or because they pity me? Gosh! too many thoughts in my mind and I just feel hopeless.
Sorry for the long post. Hope to hear your thoughts on this one. Thank you
