dark

Tattered clothes and venomous grins

Screaming soul and helpless being

Oh, what sort of monsters are you #made of?

Who couldn’t see a pleading prey?

Sinful hands stripping the peel,

Suffocating it in its demonic grip,

How cruel can you be not to hear?

The screams and shouts and aching tears

It’s like the earth herself was crying,

Burning by the devil that she resides

Where are we heading to if not the hell?

Every day, an innocent soul is sold

Snatched by the hands of the beast,

Into the horror of a hollow pit

Humans, Animals and even the dead

What is this desperation that reeks in them?

Waves of fear now crumble us down,

We see, we hear, but nothing we do.

Oh, how are we going to face them too?

Is this what the hell feels like?

Even evil has some mercy inside.#

Sadly, how we sat there empty

With Humanity and Justice sobbing aside

Little souls who believe in dolls and dreams

When did they get trapped in this grim?

#dark #darkpoetry #sexualassualt #Depression

Today my mind is in a very dark place. The thoughts of ending it all are running rampant. I will fight them I always do. I am just so tired of fighting these thoughts. 43 years of mental health issues and mental pain is very tiring. I am taking my meds, doing therapy and using my coping skills, yet I admit it gets harder each time these thoughts return. But I am stronger than my demons.

× " I Should've Never Comeback Here... To Think That My Family Care's About Me. " L.I.E.S "... All I'am To All Of My Sibling's Is That I'm A Major Bother & And A Hold Up From All Of Them Living Thier Own Live's. I Don't Know They Are Beyond Hateful × Mean.. I Can No Longer Talk To Anyone Anymore.. Idk Why They Are So Miserable Within Themselve's Nor Do I F*****g Care... I Don't Like Being Used For My Money That I Hurt Myself For. As In Being In Pain. I Feel Used × Abused All Over Again And It's Affecting My Mental Health.. I Feel Like I'm Now Developing< Generalized Anxiety Disorder > When It Come's To My Siblings No One Truly Loves Me...I Don't Desevere This Kind Of Hateful Treatment. I Can No Longer Be Kind Anymore... All I Feel Is Worthlessness Within Myself. But I Didn't Cause Thier Issue's They Did That All By Themselve's. And They Need A Weak Scapegoat To Blame For Everything.. Me. I Have No One...All I'am Is A Cash Cow / Dog Sitter / Maid. And I Don't Ask For Anything. I Do Everything On My Own. But I Have Trouble Understanding Thing's Because Of My " Learning Disabilities "... I'm Stupid I Can't Figure This S*** Out On My Own. I Hate My Brain It Keep's Failing Me... And My Body Keep's Failing Me. × ☆ S. K. ☆ #dark Thought's

#dark cloud

Do you know what it's like to beg God to take you, but then somewhere in the back of your mind you hope God doesn't because even though you want to die you're not ready to die? That's how I feel most of my days.
My sadness and heartache consumes my body. Tears flood me and within seconds I am soaked. My heart physically hurts.
I don't want to be vulnerable or have my husband know that I am messed up, but i try to be brave and put my heart on my sleeve in hopes that he will tell me he's there for me and comfort me. My heart longs for that.
But he just looks at me and usually brushes me off.
That breaks my heart even more.
I just want someone to want me and choose me. I just want someone to love me enough that they want me to live.
I need help. I feel so alone and unwanted.
I can't take much more.
What is wrong with me?! Why can't I be happy?! Why can't my husband hold me and let me feel loved?
Am i that unloveable?!
I wish I was different. I wish I could be loveable. I wish I had passion. I wish I had one person who I could talk to.
I can't breathe. I argue with God and tell Him that I know he made a mistake with me.
I just know it. I feel it.

Hello 🙂 I have GAD, and it’s been a lot worse lately turning into depression, because I’ve been having so much guilt and shame. My parents/family moved from a city 🌃 in Canada to a smaller town 🇨🇦 🌳 all across Canada and it’s been quite the adjustment. The house here I’d bigger, nicer, cheaper but I don’t drive and counselling services and other things are 25 mins away, so I’ve felt really isolated, and top of that I’m studying to get my ged 📖 because I was almost done my high school diploma but here the system changes so it’s better for me to study for a ged than to take up all the courses needed.

But since we moved my dad works in thermoplastics, he had had to continue doing field jobs and continue working in the states or where we used to live which west Canada and we now live in eastern Canada 🇨🇦, but in November 2019 before covid-19 he had a temporary injury and had to go on employment insurance money help because he couldn’t go back to work, he has been looking for a job ever since but no real luck especially with the virus now, my mom had been on disability income for a while now 8 years or so because she has a rare heart attack in her 30’s that killed half of her heart 😞 she was lucky to survive and definitely a survivor. But she deals with depression ptsd and anxiety and hasn’t gotten a job ever since do my dad has been the one to provide for all of us for a while now.

We live in a town so it’s a little hard to come by jobs, worst case scenario we will just have to sell the house and relocate again maybe to the nearest city or elsewhere.

But I have been feeling such extreme anxiety/depression/ shame and so on because I feel such guilt and disappointment in myself that now when my family most needs me, I’m looking for jobs online or in person, I can’t step up because I have such work anxiety, that I have worked in the past before a few jobs for max 6-8 months each, I’m 20, but right now without counselling supports my anxiety Is skyrocketing, I’m seeing if there is online counselling for free, or what I can afford, but I just feel so silly and ashamed that I can’t easily be like other kids who just step up and help the family easily or just don’t struggle with fears, worries, catastrophic thoughts and so on

I’ll probably have to push myself to either get one regardless or to focus on my studying 100%.
But I feel so alone, stupid, ashamed and scared about what’s going to happen. #Depression #Anxiety #Work anxiety #failure #feelingashamed #dark place emotionally #Need counselling :c