Pillshaming

I was diagnosed by my old family Doctor for depression and anxiety.

I stopped taking my meds, cold turkey because my prescription wasn't being refilled.

I'd say 75% of the time I function ok, but the other percentage I'm a freaking wreck. I'm angry and stand offish, I don't know how to express my feelings, I can get over stimulated fast and I've actually screamed out in frustration, like so loud my throat hurt for the rest of the day. I have dreams of self harm Ina weekly basis.

I try to tell people but they don't think I need the pills. They "numb" me so I don't feel anything and life is meant to be hard...yadda yadda yadda. I don't doubt that life is hard, but f*** I'm pill shamed for mental health pills but pills I take to stop a blood clot from forming is ok. I'm going to go on strike and not take my other meds. If my brain can't get help then neither can the rest of my body.

Do I have a mental health problem, or am I just making this stuff up ? I genuinely have no idea anymore.

Excuse me while I go self destruct a bit 😒

#Depression #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Pillshaming #fedup #QuestioningMySanity

I’ve tried so hard to explain to others about mental health issues. tried to make them understand or at least be mindful to what someone might be going through. using examples without actually telling them about myself. that didn’t work, so I finally told them about my struggles (not everything, but some) to see if that would make them a little more cautious of their words/opinions knowing someone close to them is fighting a battle. that didn’t work either. I’ve run out of ideas and energy, I now sit in silence trying to ignore and not engage in what their conversations. but sitting there and listening to all the negativity just gets me so angry, when you’re at work it’s hard to just get up and walk away. it’s in every room, bath room, office, floor. I try so hard to push it out of my mind but it just festers inside me until I get home and vent to my boyfriend.

like why do people have to judge others? why do you have to be so set on your views and not even budge or listen to someone else. I’m not asking them to change their minds, but try to be considerate and understanding towards others. people don’t bring it upon themselves, they do not choose to battle their minds every second of every day. your struggles are not any worse or better than mine, nor mine to yours. it’s not a competition on who’s anxiety or depression is worse. who are you to judge how people deal with their issues? who are you to deminish a persons feelings and make it about your feelings? who are you to tell me I’m putting “poison (pills)” in my body and I should stop before it’s too late, when that “poison” is actually balancing the chemicals in my brain so I don’t hurt myself or feel like complete shit everyday and can actually live. don’t tell me you suffer from anxiety too when you spew all these negative thoughts and words when someone reaches out to you about their mental health. how dare you say you hate when people use mental health as an excuse, when in reality ta not an excuse they’re just trying to make you understand how they’re feeling. in my opinion, someone who truely struggles with mental health would never try to one up others and put them down about their mental health. it is so true when we say “know one really knows what you’re going through until they go through it themselves.” I feel if they truely were struggling with some sort of mental health issue, they wouldn’t be so nasty, opinionated and close minded towards others and the topic.

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Bekind #rant #CheckInWithMe #LongPost #ChronicPain #Pillshaming

Anyone else out there that feels like the next time someone pill shames them or tells them they can fix their “condition” with diet or homeopathic treatment they will explode #Isitjustme

Someone pill shamed me.

I don’t ever take it personally but I went off on them. I told them they don’t have the right to tell someone what they should and shouldn’t take. You don’t have your doctorate and are able to make those choices.

people sometimes man.

#Pillshaming #Anxiety #52SmallThings #Depression #ADHD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Has anyone here ever felt like someone was shaming them for needing to be on medication? Someone I consider a close friend went on and on to me how I was on too many medications, and needed to start taking myself off of them. (JUST WANT TO ADD AS A SAFETY MEASURE THAT STOPPING MEDICATION MUST NEVER BE DONE ON YOUR OWN. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR FIRST!) She said some things I don’t want to repeat, because it heavily triggered my PTSD and I don’t want that to happen to anyone else. One thing I can share is that she told me I would probably need a liver transplant! #Pillshaming Continued next post-

When I first decided to ask my doctor for help, it was after years of suffering in silence. SAD, Dysthymia, Suicidal Thoughts, and what I have now realized is BPD. My husband (at the time), also suffers from depression and anxiety but refused to take medication or go see someone because he could "do it himself".

So when I came home and told him I got pills he asked things like, are you sure you need them? What about all the side effects? Can't you just keep doing counseling? All of which made me feel suuuper-great, right? It was bad enough that I had broken down in the doc's office because I felt like a failure who couldn't do it, but to come home and have someone I loved say it? And it was confusing as well because hubby said things like, maybe you need the extra help for a few months? So he was both shameful and supportive.

Coincidentally I went to Mental Health First Aid a few weeks later and I spoke to the instructor about my pills. She was lovely and honest and said, "if you had diabetes would you not take insulin?" So I felt a bit better about it after that.

Fast forward about to when j had decided to reduce my meds and try herbal supplements instead. Big surprise, the quick fuse returned. And hubby was suddenly saying things like, maybe you do need the pills?

So now you're telling me I'm broken and better on medication? That was a real low point in both our relationship and my life. And it still stings.

What makes this all worse or more confusing is that I have a father who has has depression and bpd and suicidal thoughts his whole life. He won't take meds. Breakdown - meds for 6 months, stop, another breakdown, meds for 6 months, no further hospitalization. Lives alone and complains about everything. How is my brain thinking that's ok? He recently had a major health scare and surgery and at the time I had been thinking if ending meds and moving to medical cannabis instead. Then I SAW my dad and thought, nope, I NEED to stay on my meds. So I went to see my doc and switched to what will hopefully be a good option for me. Thanks for listening. And hang in there.

I’m tired of people telling me that I “appear” normal and they don’t understand why I take medications. I take my medications, like a robot, to function. It’s not fair that I’m make to feel guilty and ashamed to make sure that I stay on my path to staying safe, staying here and surviving in this brutally broken, messed up world. To be ‘normal’ to fit into societal standards of what “okay” is or should be. And I’m tired of explaining to people what it’s like to live with an #InvisibleIllness #Depression #Pillshaming .