I was able to think a lot while I was digging today. The pandemic is still going on. I have been fighting off and through depressive episode. Ihave all these creative projects that I’m trying to encourage myself to either begin or finish (I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE THEM W/ YALL! They’re mad encouraging!) I still am wrestling with my #eatingdisorder......AND! All of those things will be there until they are not. I woke up today, prayed, and the first thing I did was go outside and start digging. I didn’t know how long I’d be out there. Didn’t know if I’d finish today. Don’t know when I’ll finish or how fast I’ll work. Didn’t know if the rain would come. Didn’t know if my sister would ditch me because she was tired or reading her book outside, or if my brother would come outside and laugh at me per usual whenever I do cute, therapeutic things. He says playing in dirt and making a mess or being a “lame”. He’s one of my favorite people and he’s hilarious though so it’s okay. So many thoughts, so many worries, and so many... just, like... feelings - so many things outside of my control. You know what was in my control? If I chose to set my one thing to accomplish for the day: taking another step towards cultivating beauty wherever and whenever I can. It may not feel like a lot, but it is significant and important to look for ways to cultivate beauty - whether it be external, like a garden, or internal, like self love or focusing on a character trait you want to develop. There are no small steps. EVERY step is significant! Just like every shovel full of dirt.
Quarantine depression - 0 / Aidee - 1!
#BipolarDepression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #AnorexiaNervosa #BulimiaNervosa #Anxiety #Depression #EatingDisorders #treatment #Recovery #Healing #light #Joy #Hope #Happiness #Gardening #Beauty #sunflowers #Family #COVID19 #quarantine #quarantinethoughts #SocialDistancing #hopehealsinitiative
I’ve been going through a lot of stress and I’m having a hard time with my anger. So I’ve been reading positive quotes. ☺️