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Cultivate Beauty Wherever You Can ... Even During Quarantine

I was able to think a lot while I was digging today. The pandemic is still going on. I have been fighting off and through depressive episode. Ihave all these creative projects that I’m trying to encourage myself to either begin or finish (I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE THEM W/ YALL! They’re mad encouraging!) I still am wrestling with my #eatingdisorder......AND! All of those things will be there until they are not. I woke up today, prayed, and the first thing I did was go outside and start digging. I didn’t know how long I’d be out there. Didn’t know if I’d finish today. Don’t know when I’ll finish or how fast I’ll work. Didn’t know if the rain would come. Didn’t know if my sister would ditch me because she was tired or reading her book outside, or if my brother would come outside and laugh at me per usual whenever I do cute, therapeutic things. He says playing in dirt and making a mess or being a “lame”. He’s one of my favorite people and he’s hilarious though so it’s okay. So many thoughts, so many worries, and so many... just, like... feelings - so many things outside of my control. You know what was in my control? If I chose to set my one thing to accomplish for the day: taking another step towards cultivating beauty wherever and whenever I can. It may not feel like a lot, but it is significant and important to look for ways to cultivate beauty - whether it be external, like a garden, or internal, like self love or focusing on a character trait you want to develop. There are no small steps. EVERY step is significant! Just like every shovel full of dirt.

Quarantine depression - 0 / Aidee - 1!

#BipolarDepression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #AnorexiaNervosa #BulimiaNervosa #Anxiety #Depression #EatingDisorders #treatment #Recovery #Healing #light #Joy #Hope #Happiness #Gardening #Beauty #sunflowers #Family #COVID19 #quarantine #quarantinethoughts #SocialDistancing #hopehealsinitiative

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What flowers should I plant in my garden?

I’m planting sunflowers and taking suggestions! I planting in the south suburbs of Chicago. What do you beautiful people think I should add to my flower garden? 🌻 💐 🌺 🌸 🌹

Today was day two or working on my garden. I started it last year and only managed to dig a hole 😂 Probs was hypomanic, not sure. Sometimes I try not to diagnose every single thing I feel. My treatment team suggested that I try my best to “ride the wave” (feel my feelings as they come) and not “pathologize” my every emotion. It helps because sometimes when I feel #happy or #sad I can just accept that, let myself feel, and try my best. I notice episodes when these feelings linger. Nevertheless, I am finding ways everyday to keep myself moving and give myself simple things to find joy in and keep myself occupied for at least another 30 days of quarantine.

#Gardening #Garden #Flowers #COVID19 #covidanxiety #SocialDistancing #DBT #DialecticalBehaviorTherapy #CognitiveBehaviorTherapy #Depression #BipolarDepression #EatingDisorders #BulimiaNervosa #Therapy #vitamind #Recovery #hopehealsinitiative

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Actively Finding Joy - How are you seeking light in spite of dark times

Some days it is so difficult to find joy and push ourselves to use ours skills. On like that do the best you can. Even the small things - hygiene, walks, drinking water, texting a friend or sharing a meme. Today, I ate pancakes, watched church online, cleaned a bit (like picked up some socks lol) and started fixing up the garden I started the other day. I have tons of worries and obligations school and work and purpose related...AND in this moment, I have joy and peace. I won’t fixate on how long it will last. I will simply enjoy this. What is something that gave you joy today?

#Bipolar2Disorder #BipolarDepression #Depression #Recovery #EatingDisorders #BulimiaNervosa #Anorexia #MentalHealth #mentalwellness #Hope #Joy #peace #hopehealsinitiative


I turned Loneliness Into A Weapon - We Are Stronger Together

I get applauded for how well spoken and open I am about my journey. I am honored and feel incredibly blessed to be able to create content that resonates with others, who have felt/feel the same way but lacked language. I’m learning more and more about my purpose everyday, and it is such a beautiful journey! Especially after years of just trying to make it through the day. I still find myself feeling my feels very hard...AND I’m getting better and not letting my feelings run my life. That being said, sometimes, that which we feel honored to do sometimes feel heavy. I personally feel that heaviness is due to our perspective and our fears. Fear of failing, fear of judgment, fear of rejection, and for me, oftentimes, fear that I will run out of important things to say. Writing boring poems, strumming and singing uninspired songs, empty speeches, and creating subpar vlog and blog posts are just a few of the fears that plague my mind and heart and scream in four part harmony that I should just give up now. I refuse. I speak from a place of hope and conviction. I know what it’s like to live in a world where emotions are fragile and intense. Over time, I have been able to find freedom in speaking my truth, unfiltered. That’s all I do, no big secret or trick or algorithm. I simply share my heart, where I’ve been, and the hope I have for the future. I’ve survived 100% of everything that hell has thrown my way, and I AM SO EXCITED about that! Almost as excited as I am to say that YOU HAVE TOO!!! That is what my secured hope is fueled by - the fact that if we've overcome that which we feared we wouldn’t, then we can do it again! Through The Mighty, we can do it together! Tonight, I felt myself give myself permission to just be. Not try to be the most famous blogger, singer, successful and completely healed 20 year old, but to always remind myself of my why. Why do I speak even though it’s scary? Because I believe that there is brilliant beauty to be found in and created of brokenness, and that there is strength in surviving, and there is a LIFE we are fighting for and creating. Simply put, I want to encourage as many people to stick around and create the life they dream of. I want us to be able to freely share our stories, no matter how dark or how light they are because, friends, there is strength in numbers! I almost went to bed defeated while rehearsing the lies of loneliness and insignificance. Instead, I chose to use my voice, to share my heart, and if nothing else, encourage just one person to believe that they are not alone in their darkness, therefore, they do not have to journey towards light alone. #Bipolar2Disorder    #BipolarDepression  #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder  #BulimiaNervosa  #EatingDisorders  #EatingDisorderRecovery   #Recovery   #prorecovery   #AnorexiaNervosa  #Hope  #Healing  #themightypoets   #Music  #hopeheals   #OSFED #hopehealsinitiative