TMS

Yesterday, I shared how my mornings go. Today I will elaborate on why "Every Morning" is so very exhausting.

I've been in the mental hospital more times than I would like to admit. However before that, I went to college majoring in biology and neuroscience. I wanted to understand my chronic issues and "fix me".

Unfortunately, I did not find for what I was looking. Going through several different specialists, I found some diagnosis (treatment resistant depression, generalized anxiety disorder, a circadian rhythm disorder, sleep apnea mixed in with a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder and perfectionism).

I never found a medication or medication combination that revolutionized my life. I found many coping mechanisms that helped like medication, a proper diet, journaling, blue light therapy, talk therapy, yoga, dance, deep breathing techniques, transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy (TMS), acupuncture, Chinese herbs, teas and lately, homeopathy.

However, as I alluded to earlier life happens and you are left flat broke (literally), unable to pay for most of these services. For example, due to my mental health, I had to leave graduate school and move in with my parents. My business failed, and at this point no one will hire me. My ex-husband left because he couldn't support us (along with a mental breakdown of his own). So, I am left alone, depressed, anxious, unemployed, living with my parents, picking up the pieces fighting the strong urge to just give up. Did I mention I my mornings are actually afternoons? (More on that later.)

Yes, this is officially a "Cry Me a River" post. However, that's why I joined this platform. I officially have no one to really talk to or in my case 'vent'. However, I think that is why we are all here. Am I right? Let's get all of our problems out in the open and support each other?

Well, I definitely hope that is the case because most 'normal people' look at me, when they hear my story and say, "I am praying for you". They also say, "I am sending you good vibes".

That's all very nice and appreciated but I am sincerely looking for the support and strength to keep going. I want to keep finding the good things in life, the joy, the wonder, the excitement, anything that makes my life worth living. I don't want to give into the perpetual desire to clock out of the human race. (Not that there is any guarantee things will be better on the other side, just saying.)

As Angelica Hudson says to Drew Barrymore in "Ever After" (It's a really sweet movie by the way.) "No matter how bad things may get, they can always get worse."

It's up to me to make it better and that's a hard concept to swallow. It's just me against this crazy spinning rock. :/

#Support #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Community #Support #venting #circadianrhythmdisorder #Journaling #TMS #Acupuncture #chineseherbs #homeopathy #financiallystruggling #unemployed #Divorce #Burnout #Loneliness #Hope #strength #NeverGiveUp #onwardandupward #togetherwecan

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to share with you an update on my mental health journey. I've recently found a program at a local psychiatry residency clinic in which they offer the very new treatment for depression called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS). I'm officially a patient at this clinic, and I have been approved and have officially started TMS treatments. I will say, there's still a small part of me that feels doubtful this could work. However, many people have participated in studies of this treatment and discussed it's beneficial aspects including one of my all time favorite writers Jennifer Lawson (best mental health advocate imo!). I wanted to share this with all of you, let you know that a few weeks ago I was honestly feeling incredibly suicidal and just full of existential dread, and just the hope of this experiment and getting approved for it helped pull me from that really dark place. I'm still feeling quite depressed, so don't think I'm like already super better. However, I now have hope that there could be a better tomorrow. Anyway, that's really all I wanted to share for now. I also wanted to let everyone know who may be interested in researching it that my insurance (which covers a large chunk of most treatments for things) still isn't quite covering the whole bill of this procedure (so I doubt there's very many insurances that would foot the whole bill) and I have to pay nearly $700 out of pocket. Compared to some things, this isn't awful. And with the idea that it could potentially cause my depression to go into remission for a large chunk of time, it seems highly worth it for me. That's not always the case for everyone, though, so I figured I would share that. In addition, I knew it would be weeks of treatment when I originally looked into it; what I did not know was that they expect you to show up everyday M-F for six weeks. Each appointment isn't very long, only like 30 min max, but still for me, that's asking A LOT when it comes to trying to make time in my work schedule. I figured some might find this helpful or good to know beforehand, so I felt like sharing. I do plan to check back in and let all of you know how I think it went in six weeks! 🤞💕

Let's talk about treatment options for borderline personality disorder. Comment below what has been helpful to you. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPDDiagnosis #TMS

HWS centre certified SPRAVATO® offer personalized Bipolar & Anxiety Disorder Treatment for a happier you. You deserve to be happy. Don't wait, Sign up today.

Bipolar & Anxiety Disorder Treatment Fort Lee NJ, Treatment-...

#Bipolar #TMS #HealthCare #HealthAnxiety ##MentalHealth

#Autism #Anxiety #Disorder #ketamine #TMS #Depression